HodgePodge I Am

In Pursuit of Dreams

2008-05-27T22:10:00.006+08:00

What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail...

That sentence above has somehow embedded itself into my psyche, and I can't seem to shake it off....

However, I know that it is something I always have to keep with me, to consciously remind myself of the necessity of thinking big. That no matter how the circumstances in my life may change for better or for worst, the pursuit of ones dreams should never fall by the wayside.

I have felt it creeping up over me the past few years. That sickening feeling of complacency. The overwhelming sense of unwarranted contentment. The slow build-up of an aversion to risk. The increasing tendency to brush away any entrepreneurial idea as a mere pipe-dream.

I never thought that I would become like that, especially not so early in my life.

It seems so long ago that I was but a young, naive graduate. Short on finances, but big on hopes and dreams. Back then, nothing seemed impossible. Everything was within reach, and every obstacle surmountable. Complacency was the furthest thing from my mind..

..but yet, I have grown complacent.

It wasn't difficult. Being complacent. The combination of a good job, financial windfalls, position and stature is enough to lull any person into a false sense of contentment. It wasn't until a recent meeting with an old acquaitance that I realised just how different I've become.

Ahh...this person.

I first got to know him while competing in a local reality-show.

He is a programmer, one of the several programmers who responded to my online post during the time when I was frantically searching for people to help me realize an idea that I had.

We met up, and instantly we clicked. There was something about him that I found very refreshing. His ability to see things from an entrepreneurs point of view, his willingness to take risks, to forego the comforts and security of life in the pursuit of the next big thing. They all made sense to me back then.

Those were qualities sorely lacking in most of the corporate flunkies you meet and I'm sure you'll agree.

After chatting a little and catching up on what each of us have been doing over the past few years, he asked me this question....

"What happened to you?".

To him, the person he was speaking to hardly resembled the person he knew a few years ago. Where was the fire? Where was the zeal? Where was the dogged tendancy to ignore conventional wisdom?

I initially thought he had gone bonkers. Surely, I am the same person. My expectations of life can't have changed that much i just a few short years.

It was only when I got back, and thought about what he said that I realised just how far I've deviated from my original goal. When I look at him - at how he is going about doint things his way, sacrificing for his dreams - I feel a pang of envy.

Money isn't everything. Comon sense isn't it? But how often do we forget that nugget of wisdom. While money can be a great motivating factor, it isn't the end goal in itself. The process of getting there, the journey in itself, those things are ultimately more fulfiling and rewarding than any five or six figure paycheck.

I now know what I must do.

Don't worry, I'm not going to quit my job and live off the land.

What I need is a serious realignment of my goals and objectives in life. To refocus, where I've wandered astray. To remember, what I've since forgotten. To rediscover, joys of walking the path less travelled.

That paragraphs above have embedded itself into my psyche, and I won't ever want to shake it off....

Here's to dreams.

Family, Friends and Taxes

2008-04-23T20:26:00.003+08:00

Pray Along

My girlfriend's father went to Singapore last week to undergo an operation. It was quite major, hence the decision to perform it in Singapore instead of Malaysia. So far, he is recovering really well, which is great news for everyone.

Can't wait to see him up and about on his feet again.

I went down over the weekend to visit and to lend some support. Although the bus ride to and fro was horrendous, I'm really glad I did. It's at times like this that you truly realize the importance of having family and friends.

A blinding flash of obvious? Perhaps, but it's one of those things which we think we know, but honestly, do we actually really know it?

Walking along the streets of Merlion

I didn't spend much time sight-seeing, not that I'm complaining. Most of my time was spent in the hospital and in the serviced suite which we were all bunking in.

I did however manage to catch up on some much-neglected-clubbing by paying a visit to Attica on Saturday night.

Oh, and I also visited the Night Safari. It was my second time actually, the first was several years back. It was still as fun and entertaining as I remember it to be. Now why can't we in Malaysia, with our abundant flora and fauna, come up with something equivalent, if not better?

Maybe its coz we Malaysians are just not 'civilized' enough to sit quietly in the tram while the safari guide narrates. We don't like being idle. That coupled with our total disregard for personal safety (as evidenced by our road... *ahem* ...manners) would probably see us leaping right off the tram, into a pit of wild hyenas in a heroic effort to get a closer shot for a photo with which to show off to our friends.

Malaysians are funny in that way.

Death and Taxes

On another note, I recently appointed a personal tax consultant to handle my tax related issues. Yeah, I know it's a bit too late to help with my 2007 taxes, which by the way are in the process of sucking the life force out of me, but based on the tax bracket which I am so 'privileged' to fall under (urk!), it is a must for 2008.

Hopefully with some expert guidance, I can trim down the amount of my hard earned moolah which has to go into the pockets of the tax man.

Paying unreasonable taxes pisses me off.

End.

The Curse of Shopping

2008-04-04T00:47:00.003+08:00

Guy go shop *grunt grunt*

Let me first say that throughout most of my life, my shopping habits were that of a typical male. And by 'typical male' I mean half-yearly trips to the shopping mall where we'd proceed to blow several grand of our hard-earned moolah on enough shirts, pants and shoes to see us through the next 6 months.

We'd then proceed to spend the next half a year doing whatever it is 'manly' guys do (burt, fart, tweeze each others nips) before repeating the whole shopping cycle all over again.

That was all there is to it, simple.

I didn't see the need to have a zillion pairs of shoes, nor did I see the need to desperately refresh my wardrobe everytime GQ featured yet another impossibly-sculpted model wearing yet another gay-looking outfit which wouldn't look out of place on Elton John.

That was then though....

It starts...

It all started innocently enough.

In a rare stroke of 'genius', I thought that instead of spending a huge chunk of money every 6 months on clothes, I'd spread out my shopping throughout the year. I figured that by doing so, I won't end up buying lots of stuff which I do not need, instead limiting myself to just one or two critical items a month.

Surely such an approach would allow me to save more money right?

The first trip started pretty well, I got myself a new belt to replace the ratty old, limp mee-hoon impersonating leather strap that I was using as a belt and a couple of new cuff links to go with some of my other shirts.

On the way out however, I noticed a sign saying that some of the shirts were marked down by 50%. Oh wellllll, since it's alreadyyyy on sale, I might as well take advantage of it. Why, by buying it I am actually saving money! Who can argue with logic like that?

As I was paying at the cashier, I spotted a nearby rack of jeans with one particular pair which I thought will look great with my new shirt. Hmmm...something to aim for next month then.

...and grows...

As any girl can tell you, once you've spotted an item you like, it will bloody dominate all your waking thought! Haunting you for every second of every hour until you take the plunge and actually purchase the bloody thing.

Needless to say, I didn't even last through the month. The very next week, I was back ringing up yet another purchase on my Amex. Oh, and since I'm here, I might as well pick up some t-shirts as well. And that cool looking pair of slacks too.

True, I may have spent more than I intended to, but I figured that I'll just treat it as an 'advance' of next month's clothing budget.

Feeling pretty good about my superb budgeting skills, I went home.

Guessssss what I have for you!

Only a couple of days have passed when a friend asked me whether I wanted this special discount card which entitled me to a discount for any item purchased at a certain boutique in Pavilion. Although I didn't intend to buy anymore stuff this month, I thought that since this card was still valid, I might as well make use of it.

Why, am I not saving money by using a discount card? I am right? Alrightey then!

After selecting a few pairs of pants, shirts and the odd bag, I realised that the total figure was a bit steep. Ah-hah! Nothing a discount card can't fix!

Brandishing my card triumphantly, I cackled gleefully as the figure was revised.

Bernard Yong - 1, Big multinational retailer - 0!

I am becoming a woman!

The very next day, I realised that I didn't have any shoes to go with my new pants.

As I rushed back to the shopping mall in a shoe-buying frenzy, I suddenly stopped and realised that I was becoming one of those obssessed, crazy-eyed woman you usually see hanging around Isetan during the Christmas sale, arms loaded with shopping bags with smoke wafting from their purses as a result of overheated credit cards.

This is ridiculous.

As I now sit in my room, looking at all the paper bags lying around filled with stuff which I probably will only wear once or twice, I saw how far I had fallen. I needed to redeem myself! I needed to nip this in the bud!

And I will!

.... as sooooooonnnn as I get that black jacket which will look absolutely snazzy with some of my new threads.

Guess Who's Back?

2008-03-28T18:27:00.002+08:00

Return of the Jer-Die

I'm backkkkkk!

Feels like a long time eh. In fact, it has been pretty long! I haven't blogged for 4 months, and truth be told, I was beginning to miss it.

I miss being able to rant and rave to my heart's content, to post rubbish which would otherwise never see the light of day, to foist upon the Internet all manner of poorly edited photos and to check on my blog's traffic rating and feel a warm glow in my heart and a great sense of achievement when the number of daily visitors painstakingly creeps above 10 a day.

Ah, to be part of the blogosphere again.

You Gotta Do What You gotta do

One of the 3 main reasons why I temporarily stopped blogging was because of work. Although work is still as hectic as ever, I felt that reviving my once 'glorious' blog was something that I simply HAD to do! I can't simply let HodgePodge I Am die like that? After all the blood, sweat and tears I've poured into it? Never!

Besides, I had to think of my fan (notice the absence of plurality)! What will he (yes, it's a He) do now that he's being deprived of the one thing that brought meaning and joy to his life? Nooo!!

So it is with a renewed sense of purpose that I proceeded to dust off the virtual cobwebs from my blog, fire up ye ol' Adobe Photoshop (which I only ever use to edit photos for my blog) and sit with my fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to unleash a barrage of witty text at a moment's inspiration.

Which brings me to the second reason why I stopped blogging...inspiration. Or to be more exact, the lack of.

Ol' geezer Yong

I found that after my gazillionth post, I basically ran out of things to say. And everything thereafter seems to be a limpid repetition of what I typed eons ago. Why, even this sentence gives me a strange case of deja vu.

Which is very sad.

And which led me to the conclusion that I'm a doddering old geezer with a penchant for repeating himself.

And which led to my decision to stop blogging, at least for a little while.

You follow me thus far?

BUT (yes, there is a but)...that was wayyy back in 2007! Now, with 4 months gone by, I'm bubbling with ideas and inspiration, a veritable geyser of pent-up blogging energy! I feel like I could just sit here and type out genius-post after genius-post without even breaking a sweat! Why, Kenny Sia's posts will pale in comparison to mine!..muahaha.

Even as I smugly sit here and fantasize about what it'd be like to write a blog which attracts more than 10 people a day, I realize that it's all a pipe-dream because...

..and that brings us to the third and final reason why I stopped blogging.

I'm just too lazy.

So lazy in fact, that I'm going to stop my post right here and show you a bunch of photos (poorly edited mind you) of the stuff I did during my absence.

Enjoy..hahahah!

Stuff I did...zzzzzz

While I was busy not blogging, I....

...went on a road trip to Melaka....

...celebrated Christmas and New Year in London...

...got my arse handed to me at BlackJack, no thanks to a person whom I shall not name *cough* *Kok Leong* *cough*....

...spent time with my family during CNY...

...had a blast in Hong Kong...

...bought myself another piece of property...

...celebrated Leonard and Eleena's wedding...

...watch my friend blow-up his turbo in a drag race (and spent half the night standing around a deserted highway waiting for the tow truck)...

....and attended another wedding, this time of my old college mate Ken Ong.

The End...*tan tan tarra!*

Another week goes by

2007-12-07T17:30:00.000+08:00

Uh uh uh, another week bites the dust

I just got an SMS from a friend saying that the new movie by Disney, 'Enchanted' is really good. Hmm....must make the time to catch it one day. I've always been a sucker for Disney movies. Yes, even the mundane ones like Tarzan.

Speaking of time, gosh is it Friday already?? I know I should be doing cartwheels of joy right now in the middle of my office, but I've grown so jaded when it comes to weekends. Sure, you are literally walking on air when you leave work on a Friday night, but before you know it, you're stuck in a traffic jam on a Monday morning, inching your way back to the office with a severe case of Monday morning blues.

Better to just work right through the weekends eh?

Acckkk....I can't believe I said that, but you have to admit that there is some sliver of truth in it.

Heresy, I know.

Halo, is it me you're looking for?...

2007-11-29T16:05:00.000+08:00

I can see it in your eyessss....

Quite a number of people have been bugging me to update my blog. They accused me of gross 'blog' negligence and threatened to mogok in front of my house if they did not see a new post within the next 7 days.

Well, those threats were made weeks ago and I still do not see any placard carrying loons on my front porch. But better not take the chance eh.

People who actually enjoy reading my rubbish blog must be a bit otak-tak-center. And who knows what otak-tak-center people may do when deprived of the only thing which gives them joy and meaning in life?

I can see it in your smileeEEee...

I have a confession to make.

I told people that the reason why I put my blogging activities on hold was because of the mountain of work I have to wade through on a daily basis at the office. I told sob stories of how time-strapped I was, and watched as their eyes glistened with tears as I shared epic stories of how I heroically struggled to meat dastardly deadlines.

Ok, I may have exaggerated a little there.

Yes, my workload is bordering on the insane. But I am such a productive worker (cue laugh track) that I somehow manage to miraculously complete everything on time. So what is the reason then?

My absence from the blogosphere can basically be traced to the presence of a shiny little disc with the magical words 'Halo 3' inscribed upon it.

Ahhh, just saying those words gives me goose-bumps.

"Halo 3"

OOoOooOOhhhhhhh!

You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wiDeeEeEe....

For those of you who do not know what Halo is, I would like to thank you for taking the time to crawl out from under your rock to read my blog.

Halo 3 is THE defining pop-culture icon of the 21st century! The biggest video game franchise ever! The MAIN REASON why 85% of the American male population decided to put off marriage (and for some cases, even sex) so that they can finish collecting all those elusive little skulls!

Even during one of my recent clubbing outings, my mind kept wandering to gravity hammers, beat-downs and macho, helmet-wearing super soldiers. This, in-spite of all the scantily clad females milling about the dance-floor (ahhh...who needs em' when you've got Master Chief)

Cause you know just what to sayyYyyYy....

If you still don't know what this Halo thing I'm referring to is, let me explain it to you in more simple terms.

Halo is basically this video game right, where you play this genetically enhanced super soldier called Master Chief right, who like never takes of his helmet and is super cool right, and whose task is to run around the game shooting anything that moves.

Ermm...right.

Somehow it sounds strangely mundane when I put it that way eh.

Ok, how about this, you also get cool little grenades which you can 'stick' on your enemies...ermm ... and you also get to ride a 4-wheeled quad-bike, so that you can y'know, get around the map .... faster.

Still sounds mundane? Oh well, at least I tried.

And you know just what to dooOoO...

I guess mere words can't explain the fun to be had from having a match against friends and players from all over the world. It really IS fun, trust me. The thrill of victory, of solidarity, of unity!

Ahhh...if only we could get the President Bush, Ahmadinejad, Putin and Osama onto the same team for a round of Halo Team Slayer, why...we would have world peace!!

Maybe, maybe...we can even do away with wars entirely! All national disputes will be settled in a no-holds barred round of Halo where each country will send their 4 best players to do battle to the virtual death! How cool is that?

And I want to tell you so muchhh, I love youUuUUu!

So not only does Halo have what it takes to keep millions of people enthralled around the world, it could possibly be THE answer to man-kinds suffering.

Now how cool is THAT :)

Oh Raya, How I Miss Thee

2007-10-22T15:23:00.000+08:00

Monday Morning

'All good things must come to an end'

How true that saying is - and that's precisely why I hate the holidays.

Short, single-day holidays are never long enough for you to catch up on all the goofing off you've been planning to do, and long festive holidays only serve to highlight the contrast between the freedom of holidays and the drudgery of work when they inevitably end.

There's no win-win situation I tell ya.

Alvin & Angie

2007-10-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

Getting married in the morning...

Here's a photo-post which is dedicated to Alvin Koh and my brudder Angie Looh, who recently tied the knot.

Congrats on your union!

May there be many many babies a-coming!

What would a Chinese wedding be without the Chong Moon session?...

...Hint, it'd probably be a lot less painful for these unsuspecting dudes. On to the first challenge!!....

...Presenting Ah Kei, a close cousin of Alvin, he has a fetish for granny panties.

Apparently, Eugene likes granny panties too. He says they make him feel like a snug bug in a rug...ooeerrrr

The alphabets are a bit distorted due to the different sized posteriors, but it basically reads 'Alvin *Loves* Angie'. Only a female mind can come up with such evil.

Getting past the singing undewear stage, Alvin is faced with yet another locked door.... "Yoo hoo, where did all my heng tai go?"

The other challenges were pretty standard, revolving around the ingestion of ungodly amounts of gross liquid goo (they claim it's herbal) and what-not. Here, we see our brave hero finally making it into the house....

...where more horror awaits! Zounds!!...what is that guy doing to poor Ah Kei??!

In spite of it all, Ah Kei still managed a feeble smile for the camera. Champion ler the fellar.

The guys suffering weren't in vain after all, as Alvin finally got what he came for...and I don't mean Halo.

According to the aunty, this concoction is supposed to be good for newly weds *ahem ahem*. I guess Alvin will have to let us know about its effectiveness *cough choke wheeze*.

Norman, Me, Ah Kei and Daniel...

Hazel, Janice, Jean and Sit Fong..

Posing..

On to the chapel!

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Mr Looh couldn't have looked happier :)

The exchanging of rings and vows.

The laying of hands in prayer.

Sean with Renee and Caitlyn. Sooooo adorable!...and the 2 baby girls are quite cute as well!

Dinner at Maya

The time before dinner began proper is always good for a spot of photo-taking. As always, there's never a shortage of people willing to pose.

What happened to the days where people were camera shy...

Julie, Janice and Yi Yin.

The bouncer (right) and the bouncee (left)...geddit? *hyuk hyuk*.

Simon and Charlotte.

Eu Jin and Tiffany.

And here we have the committee members of the Guys-Against-Hair-Association.

Notice the difference between the bride and the girls in this picture...

...and the groom and the guys in this one. We told Alvin that he needn't worry, since it was his wedding night and we wouldnt feel right violating him before his bride had a chance to.

Our reassuring words didn't make a smidgen of difference tho', and he instinctively reverted to his foetal-like defensive position.

Obviously, the atmosphere of love and companionship was too much for some guests to bear, and caused them to explode in an amorous fit of frenzy.

I waited till Jon had cooled down before taking a picture with him. You can't be too careful around him you know.

Yi-Ki, May Vern and Hwee Yen.

Oliver and Cheng Jin aka Harry aka Uncle Lim.

@ Alexis

2007-09-28T18:50:00.000+08:00

Fun with Six Strings

I honestly thought that I'd get these photos posted online sooner, but nowadays I am very the malas to go through all the trouble of resizing the photos, adjusting the brightness and contrast and goodness knows what else in order to make my crappily taken pictures worthy of online viewing.

I'd much rather just create a text-only post focusing on one of my grouses (of which there are many).

However, pure-text ramblings of a babbling person with a tendency to foam at the mouth whenever he launches into yet another one of his hyperbolic tirades makes, a great blog not.

It is with this sad realization that I sluggishly uploaded to Flickr, the photos of my gig at Alexis last weekend.

Which was really great fun btw!

The gig I mean, not uploading photos.

Ahhh...friends

What would we do without em eh? I know for one that Alexis would have definitely been less packed on those 2 nights if it weren't for the many friends who turned up. Heck, some even showed up for both nights!

Now THAT'S loyalty!

Okay, so maybe some of my friends have nothing else better to do (those jokers :)), but that doesn't detract from their thoughtful gesture....*sniff sniff*

(above: The two botaks in the background look seriously confused. Must be the hair)

(above: Yes, we had male groupies as well)

They went "awwwww" during the emo bits of the set, clapped and cheered during the climaxes, and laughed while clutching their bellies whenever I made a mistake.

Here's a big thank you to all my friends who were there that night :)

(above: Tony, the star of the recent Tunku the musical, showing off his manly scar....*cough* *appendix* *cough*)

(above: Oliver, ala film producer magnifgique, is leaving to Singapore...how sad, our cell group will be even more empty! *boo hoo*)

(above: Everyone is smiling because we know what is coming up next....)

(above: ...everyone except Eric that is. Another tragic victim of the nipple cripple)

(above: I just realized I'm the only one with hair!!!)

The Gig

Our sets consisted of several original compositions, interspersed with our renditions of popular songs such as Lovefool, Linger, She'll Be Loved, If I Ain't Got You and quite a few others.

It was my first time performing at Alexis, but I must say that it's a pretty nice place to perform in. The sound system and monitors were pretty good, so too were the acoustics of the place.

(above: Ah Liang was there to give us support. As a reward, Janice shamelessly plugged his new album)

And the crowd...ahhh, the crowd. I would say that all in all, the crowd was pretty responsive.

Although my band doesn't consist of seasoned, hardcore musicians (heck, I even find it hard to think of myself as a musician), we still managed to get the audience's heads grooving to the beats of some of our songs.

Oh...and nothing was thrown at us throughout the 2 nights, which is always a good sign.

All-in-all, it was great fun...but would I do it again? Maybe not anytime soon. I don't know about the rest of the band, but the practices and performances left me knackered.

Performing in itself is excellent, but when forced to juggle it with work, it can be quite taxing.

What to do? Becoming old liao.

Islamic Bigotry

2007-09-20T13:24:00.000+08:00

The Taliban-ization of Malaysia

This article was published in The Star 2 days ago and the tone of it's arguments and the opinions contained within just reeked of hypocrisy and bigotry.

To all the so-called 'leaders' who are actually entertaining the prospect of replacing our common laws with one that is based on Islam, have they ever paused to take into consideration the concerns and sensitivities of the other races? Do they really believe in abiding by and upholding the constitution set by our forefathers? Is the progress and advancement of Malaysia as a secular nation truly on their wish-list or do they harbor secret fantasies of seeing Malaysia turn into a Taliban-like state where things such as kites, mirrors and computers are banned?

Time and time again, the Malay leaders (and the Malays who support them) have shown that they only serve one segment of society....to hell with the rest. No matter how much lip service they pay to the idealistic sounding concepts of 'religious tolerance', 'racial integration' and 'equitable wealth distribution', everyone knows that it has always been and always will be one-sided.

When they speak of religious tolerance and acceptance, it is all about other religions tolerating and accepting the teachings and practices of Islam. It is never, NEVER the other way round. When faced with the dismay and indignation of the Chinese and Indian communities, the Malay leaders like to offer up a particular section of our country's constitution which speaks of the right to religion and worship for all races.

Give me a break. Even to this day, temples are indiscriminately torn down and church permits are denied for no obvious reason. Does this sound fair to you?

As if all that (I won't even get into the topic of the NEP) wasn't bad enough, now we have this. Islamic law for Malaysia, oh goody!

Just what we need to see 50 years of hard-work go down the drain as we descend back into the middle ages, or as what so many Muslim 'intellectuals' like to call it, 'Zaman Kegemilangan'.

Two particular sentences stood out from the sea of drivel shown below.

Prof. Ahmad boldly states that the formation of MCL must be based on the basic law of the land, i.e. Islam and Malay customs.

We all know that the sentence stops there don't we? Based on the 'stellar' track record of our Muslim leaders, I have no reason to believe otherwise. Forget about other religions and customs, after all, isn't Malaysia a 'Tanah Melayu' where all the other races are basically unwanted infidel squatters?

All must understand that while Islam is theologically distinct from other religions and whose worldview is complete, in terms of similarities as far as ethics, morality, its value system and legal principles, it has a lot in common with other major religions.

Condescending isn't it? From the sentence above, it clearly shows that they consider all other religions to be inferior to Islam. Islam is the only one whose world-view is complete? That certainly is new to me.

Worlds continue to fail me. I just can't believe that an educated person (or so he claims), who is exposed to other cultures and religions can form such narrow-minded thoughts. Whatever happened to political correctness? Whatever happened to unity in Malaysia?

I'm sick of asking those questions without finding any answers.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Malaysian Common Law
Dr. Wan Azhar bin Wan Ahmad
Fellow Kanan

18/09/2007 | The Star

The Chief Justice of Malaysia, YAA Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim, in his officiating speech at IKIM's seminar surrounding ‘Ahmad Ibrahim: His Intellectual Thought and Contributions' last August, expressed his disappointment over the captive mentality of our legal experts, practitioners, judges and lawyers in reference to the high esteem the aforementioned accord English law, or to be more specific, English Common Law (ECL).

He regrettably noted that despite the fact that our nation has been independent for fifty years now, we still retain, follow and rigidly adhere to s. 3 and 5 of the Civil Law Act 1956 (CLA). The provisions of these two sections prescribe the complete application of ECL for the entire nation.

In reality, many tend to interpret these sections as if we are duty bound to refer to English Law in case of lacuna in our own law. In relation to this, Tun Ahmad Fairuz posits four important questions for us to ponder, particularly by the legal fraternity: (i) Does this condition reflect that this country is bereft of legal expertise? (ii) Does it mean that English Common Law is the best option? (iii) Does it mean that our legal experts are still shackled by the yoke of the colonials (di bawah tempurung penjajah)? (iv) Is it true that our legal scholars are impotent, in other words unable to formulate and develop a legal system better in comparison with ECL? He has called for the Common Law of England to be replaced by our very own common law.

The CJ's remarks were reported in local dailies nationwide. Amazingly, many commented positively, including some political leaders. But, there were also voices of discontent from certain quarters describing the call to replace ECL as ‘baseless.'

What is ‘English Common Law'? In brief, it refers to the unwritten law of custom based on the decisions of judges over a period of years in England, i.e. law derived from custom and judicial precedent. This includes the rules of equity, and later, various statutes of general application, developed and administered in that country.

This set of laws was introduced to Malaysia by the British colonials firstly through various treatises with the local rulers followed by legislation and decisions by English judges or judges trained in the English legal system.

The call by Tun Fairuz reiterates the call made by another (former) Chief Justice, Tun Abdul Hamid Omar (in 1990), who said words to the effect that being an independent country, our reference to ECL and the rules of equity - by virtue of s. 3, CLA - is politically indefensible. He continued that s. 3 needs to either be repealed or amended.

It is not an exaggeration to say that actually all these recommendations may be traced to the famous legal expertise of Prof. Ahmad Ibrahim. Many would agree that he was not only the originator but the prime mover of this idea, and many were inspired by him.

Prof Ahmad wrote that s. 3 and 5 of the CLA shall be amended by repealing all references to ECL and the rules of equity administered in England. He strongly suggested that we should refer to the courts decisions in Malaysia instead by applying our own laws and by giving priority to the local conditions and its people, thus establishing and developing our own Malaysian Common Law (MCL).

Prof. Ahmad argues that the last part of s. 3 of CLA itself should allow for the formation and development of MCL. It provides that "the said common law, rules of equity and statutes of general application shall be applied so far only as the circumstances of the States of Malaysia and their respective inhabitants permit and subject to such qualifications as local circumstances render necessary."

Obviously, the CLA is not to be followed blindly or literally. The very provision itself suggests that even its drafters expect us to develop our own common law. Indeed, there are enough grounds for us to establish our MCL.

Unfortunately, Prof. Ahmad laments, in spite of the fact that all our civil court judges, from the lowest to the highest, are all appointed from among Malaysians, they do not show interest or use their abilities to modify ECL to suit or to conform to local circumstances.

If there is any modification, which is very rare, it is done by rejecting an English law in preference for another English law. So, in spite of our independence, local judges and lawyers, and possibly draftsmen, are not. We are still tied to English law and to its court's decisions.

Tun Fairuz lends his full support to the notion of repealing or amending CLA. He stresses that it should be done using whatever necessary and possible modifications, in the spirit and perspective championed by Prof. Ahmad.

It is hard to really understand why certain ‘learned' groups - both within the legal fraternity and without - refused to forsake ECL. Prof. Ahmad boldly states that the formation of MCL must be based on the basic law of the land, i.e. Islam and Malay customs. He finds support for this in the court decision of Ramah v Laton (1927) presided over by an English judge. Could this form the raison d'etre for such a rejection?

To hold to this as true is baseless, unfounded and would encourage fear of the unknown and bring islamophobia to the surface. Historically, it is logical, and no one can argue the fact that the basic law of any nation must always be associated with real truth and justice.

All must understand that while Islam is theologically distinct from other religions and whose worldview is complete, in terms of similarities as far as ethics, morality, its value system and legal principles, it has a lot in common with other major religions. There's tremendous parallelism of all world religions in these aspects.

So when we talk about a Malaysian Common Law, we mean the formation and development of a system of law based on these ethical, moral and legal values shared by the followers of the major religions.

There may be certain values in the English legal tradition that may not suit our common moral precepts. It is against these elements that we must stand united. This is the spirit that should be remembered when we argue for a cessation to reference to foreign laws to settle our disputes. In this regard, any notion of a super imposition of any one religious theological teaching upon the followers of other religions must never be part of that consideration.

For a common law system in our pluralistic society to become manifest, the basis should be Islam, and arguably to a lesser extent, Malay customs. This must not be taken as an outright denial of the role and contribution of other religions or races. Input from other cultures and traditions will serve as great additions towards a harmonious peaceful life in this beloved land. Perhaps the best term to describe the formation and development of this Malaysian Common Law is ‘malaysianization.'

Show Me The Money!

2007-09-19T12:49:00.000+08:00

Googley good

I got this check from Google (my first Adsense payment) a few weeks back but still haven't found the time to bank it in till now.

Truth be told, USD123 (RM430) isn't a lot of money, but it's not too bad for 4 months of basically cutting and pasting property related articles on my property blog. Some people may call it plagiarism, but I call it 'active content syndication' :)

Oh well, as long as it's legal.

Alvin's Stag Night and the Attack of the Mutant Woman

2007-09-12T18:20:00.000+08:00

Thou Shalt Embarrass Thy Friend

We had a stag night for my soon-to-be-married friend last Sunday. Just for the record, I'd like to state that I really love stag nights. They are akin to receiving a free passport to humiliate your friends, and which guy doesn't like that eh?

Ahhh...the beauty of brotherhood.

(above: from left, Adrian, Alvin, Chern Yuan and Daniel - while they were still friends)

The task of organizing the stag night was bestowed upon Adrian, Chern Yuan and Daniel. I have no idea why Alvin let them organize it though.

Maybe he is a sucker for punishment and humiliation.

Or maybe he just wanted to prove that he has big cojones and can handle anything they throw at him.

Whatever the reason was, Alvin's parting words of 'Bring It Awnnn!' a week before the stag night was probably ill-advised and served as an ominous sign of things to come.

(above: I grabbed the opportunity to take a photo with Alvin, while he still looked like Alvin)

Our stag night lasted pretty long. It began at 3pm, or at least it was supposed to. In the time honored tradition of Malaysian punctuality, it was almost an hour after 3 before the final one of the motley invitees trickled in.

By then, everyone was pretty pumped up. Of course, the fact that we spent the last hour chugging down nothing but bottles of Coke and Zappel probably contributed to it.

The first round was pretty mild. It involved a simple 'strip question and answer' session revolving around questions on Alvin's future wife-to-be. Sound's pretty simple right? Well, Alvin's expression in the picture below pretty much sums up how the entire session went.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before he was sitting in the middle of the room clad in nothing but a pair of surprisingly water-absorbent briefs. For the sake of my readers, I shall refrain from posting any of those pictures lest I get sued and thrown into jail for crimes against humanity.

Groovy Baybeh!

Next up, we headed over to Cineleisure where Alvin was made to don an Austin Powers getup and go about soliciting signatures from people whose names began with the alphabet 'A'.

A pretty simple task no? Well, not in Malaysia!

Over here, people have a morbid fear of strangers, and the sight of a stranger approaching them (especially one who's dressed like a circus clown) is enough to send them diving under tables and over balconies in a desperate attempt to get away.

Whoever said that Malaysians were friendly ought to have his head examined.

Walking around with Alvin while he tried to convince strangers that he was in fact normal and not some crazed rapist was pretty entertaining. It was like watching the parting of the red sea. The moment he walks into a crowd of people, a path in front of him will automatically form as people tried to avoid eye contact and hurriedly walked away.

Sighh, so memalufying.

In the end, we pitied Alvin and allowed him to get away with collecting only 10 signatures instead of the 30 that we originally wanted.

Oh alright, the actual reason why we cut it short was because we were all famished by then, and by the rate Alvin was going, we'd probably be stuck in Cineleisure till midnight, chasing strangers around with a pen whilst begging them for their signatures.

(above: the fact that she is hot has no bearing whatsoever)

The event was also planned so that Alvin would surprise Angie with a song he composed several years ago for the woman he will end up marrying. It was truly touching, and the rest of the guys did a pretty good job backing him up on the vocals.

Actually, all they did was mostly stand in a line, swaying side to side while giggling like little school girls. But you know la, group dynamics and all. I am sure it made a difference.

(above: I bet Angie's thinking of how to toss Alvin over the balcony)

(above: In the end, true love prevailed and the happy couple posed for a few shots)

By the time it was all over, it was close to 11pm. Almost 7 hours of non-stop laughing can definitely take its toll on a person. I swear, I must have ruptured a kidney or something.

Looking back, it was truly a fun event and it really shows the importance of having good, close friends.

It also shows the importance of not having a stag night at all, but that's a whole different matter *smile*

(content deleted due to the presence of a conscience)

Preparation for Alexis Ampang

2007-09-05T09:22:00.000+08:00

The Blackwidow

My friends and I will be performing at Alexis Ampang on the 21st and 22nd of September (Friday & Saturday) night. While we're all looking forward to it, I myself am shitting bricks. The last time I performed with the band was several months ago in Laundry (or was it in Attic KL?) and I admit, I'm quite the rusty at the moment.

We'll be doing 2 sets a night, lasting almost 2 hours. That's about 35 songs that need to be memorized, rehearsed and adapted.

That's a LOT!

And we only have around 2 weeks to practice before the big day....*gulp*

We had our first practice session last night but due to some weird reason, all the studios at our regular haunt, Studio Akarkarya, were fully booked. In the end, we had to make do with...ughh... Blackwidow. Once you've gotten used to the ambiance and facilities at Studio Akarkarya, going to Blackwidow is like switching from a BMW to a Kancil, from a Wagu Steak to a Ramlee Burger, from Astro to terrestrial TV.

Major downgrade.

Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. We were eager to get the rehearsals underway so it didn't really matter if the studio smelled like cigarette butts, and the instruments all had a greasy, oily coat on them.

We were there to make music man! *Jamaican accent*

Let the rehearsals begin.

(above: Crammed but functional)

(above: The microphones smelled magnifique!)

(above: Da Man at the drums, Old Man Simon!)

(above: As usual, Eu Jin the bassist was a picture of intense concentration, or is it just gas?)

(above: Our vocalists from left, Amanda, Janice & Leroy)

(above: Here's my contribution to modern art, I call this piece 'Guitar on cigarette stained floor with foot in middle')

Trippin with Janice Yap

2007-09-03T15:50:00.000+08:00

Trippin, 8tv - Wednesday @ 9:30pm

This is a bit overdue, but here's a plug for a show which my girlfriend is currently hosting. The name is 'Trippin' and it's shown every Wednesday on 8tv at 9:30pm. The show basically touches on all the adventurous things you can do in Malaysia - ranging from extreme sports to extreme motorsports (drifting!!).

The show is way cool and should appeal to all the adrenalin junkies out there. Do check it out!

You can view the past episodes on 8tv's website

Here's a clip from the most recent episode for your viewing pleasure.

Auto Makeover

2007-09-02T15:32:00.000+08:00

A touch of JDM

I recently sent one of my cars to the spray shop to have it repainted. I've been driving the car around stock standard for quite some time, but the incessant itch which afflicts all car nuts soon got the better of me.

Yes, once bitten by the bug....there is no known cure.

The Alfa Romeo 147 looks pretty mundane in stock trim, with a lorry-like ride height and wheel gaps huge enough for you to hide a small family of cats in. Plus, the original paint is getting on 4 years now.

Time for a change methinks.

If you have a passing interest in cars, you would have surely noticed that there are more and more continental cars on our roads which have been modded with a bit of JDM influenced flavor.

For the non-car freaks out there (ie, people who have a life), JDM basically means Japan Domestic Market, and in modding terms, it refers to the style sported by all the modified EVOs, Skylines and Supras out there with their huge GT spoilers, crazy-arsed graphics, carbon fibre everything, pavement scraping ride-heights and the obligatory wide-bodied body kit.

Of course, I'm no longer a juvenile street dragger and the thought of a loud flashy car for a daily driver doesn't appeal as much anymore - but I'll always have a soft spot for those things.

What I wanted to achieve with the Alfa was just the right balance of European sobriety and Japanese brashness.

The end result?

I think I got the balance I was looking for :)

(click to enlarge)

(above: Basically the whole kit was taken from the Alfa Romeo 147 GTA, with a bit of custom bodywork done to get it to fit the 4-door chassis)

(above: Rims were taken from the Alfa 147 GTA as well, the ride height was lowered around 30-35mm courtesy of Eibach)

(above: The rear bumper of the 147 GTA will look even better with a set of twin exhausts poking out from the side-pods. However for the sake of preserving the original back-box, I opted for just an exhaust tip instead)

(above: The Alfa 147 GTA kit isn't overly 'low', so scraping should hopefully be minimized)

(above: Sighh...if only I had some stonkin' big Brembos to fill up the GTA rims)

(above: Black roofs are in vogue)

Pearle's Birthday

2007-08-29T00:16:00.000+08:00

AhhhhhHHHhhh...

That shower felt good.

By the time I got home it was around mid-night....far too late for a decent shower.

Alright confession time, usually when I get home late, I'll just throw on some old clothes and plonk myself straight onto bed. Yes yes, with gel-ed hair and all.

Don't look at me all shocked and horrified! Haven't you occasionally given in to the temptations of the pillow and skipped a bath? It can be such a bother having to wash up sometimes hor (or am I the only one who feels this way?).

Not this time though. My mom just got me a new set of bed sheets and I sure ain't gonna risk her wrath by dirtying them.

One thing you'll learn about my mom, don't mess with her when it comes to keeping the house clean. ...EVER!

Another one bites the dust

Yet another one of my friends has passed the mid-20s point.

No longer can she claim to be in her mid 20s. No longer can she tick the third box which states '20 to 25 years old'. No longer will 30 seem like such a long time away!

Welcome to the dark side...*evil laughter*!!

(above: Happy birthdayyyyyy!!! This is what passes as a birthday 'cake' to my friends.)

(above: Pearle and I. Hard to believe I've known her for more than 15 years now. She hasn't changed though, still as blur as ever :)

(above: Yi Yin was supposed to open her mouth wide for this shot, but you know girls lah...sometimes so shy)

(above: Daniel learns never to mess with a pregnant woman.)

(above: With Alvin not around, Chern Yuan's kissy lips had to find a new target....which in this case happened to be Roy. Poor dude )

Must Be Enterprising...Urkkk!!

2007-08-27T21:01:00.001+08:00

What to do what to do...

I was browsing through an article in Fortune about young entrepreneurs and CEOs when I was smacked with the realization that most of these guys (and gals) were younger than me!

It may not sound like much but it's really quite a big deal!!

OK, I can get quite excitable when it comes to things like this but bear with me for a moment here.

Those young brats

I remember a time not too long ago... every time I picked up and read an article about how some young fellow founded a company from his basement/garage/bedroom/(fill in other obscure places here), and how it then proceeded to balloon into some multi-billion company, one of the first things I would notice would be the person's age when he first founded the company.

Michael Dell, 19 years old....Jerry Yang, 27.....Bill Gates, 20......Chad Hurley, 28.....argghhh!!!

Most of the time, they would be a couple of years older than me. I'd then heave a sigh of relief and console myself, saying that I still have a couple more years to conjure up my million dollar idea.

Well that was then and now is now.

Now that I've reached a ripe old age of 27 (to put it more accurately, I'm 26 PLUS)....that no longer applies.

Where is my brilliant flash of inspiration? Where is my gazillion dollar idea? Where where where??!!

Write down all your ideas, that's what they always say...

I used to take this so seriously. I'd jot down in-depth notes of every single business idea and looney concept which crossed my mind - faithfully saving them into a folder on my PC marked 'Ideas' (I changed the folder icon into a little lightbulb thingy...brilliant eh). True, a lot of them were pretty far-out (alright, some were really crap!), but there were one or two which I really thought had potential.

Some I actually invested the time and money to pursue, with varying degrees of success - and failures. But what the heck was failure anyway? Back then, it sure wasn't something to shy away from, although my bank account did take quite a big hit from it.....hahah...

...hah hah.....ermm...

....sighh...

Keep on dreamin'

What ever happened to the youthful energy and boundless optimism? Nowadays I find myself becoming more and more conservative in my goals and ambitions...noooo!! I'm becoming one of those old, complacent codgers which I used to poke fun at!

Never!!

I realise that as we grow older, it becomes ever more important to hang on to our dreams... no matter how idealistic or naive they may seem to be to other people, heck even to ourselves! How easily we settle for whatever we have currently in hand, especially if whatever we currently have comes with a big fat paycheck. I admit, guilty as charged.

Well, all is not lost. Ray Kroc only began putting McDonalds on its growth path when he was a ripe old age of 53.

That leaves me another 26 years to go. Plenty of time to think up of something. :)

Superbad - Penis Drawing

2007-08-09T17:14:00.000+08:00

Watch the clip above, it's bloody hilarious. It's the first time I've even heard of this movie called 'Superbad' by Sony Pictures but already I'm aching to watch it. It should be a barrel of laughs.

'Dick Devil'....LMAO!

Find out more about the movie here

Malaysiaku Gemilang?

2007-08-09T09:24:00.000+08:00

I hereby dub thee....

I finally got my MCA membership card, 1-year after signing up. Yes, I know that in this time and age, waiting a year for anything borders on the ludicrous but hey, it's a political party not a private enterprise.

I should consider myself lucky. There was some poor chap who still hasn't received his card, 5 years after signing up.... the poor sod.

The press were there to cover the ceremony, and apparently my face appeared in the China Press newspaper. I wouldn't know though since I don't read the China Press due to the fact that the only part of the paper I can read is the top right-hand corner where the date is displayed. Ah yes, I know my Mandarin numerical characters like the back of my hand *smug*.

Haemorrhaging Patriotism

Lately, I haven't been as active in MCA as I would have liked. The all-consuming pressures of work can sometimes leave precious little time to engage in any other activities. However, there were some recent events highlighted in our news which caused me to take a step back and focus on why I joined MCA in the first place.

I still remember it so clearly. Call it naive patriotism if you may, but I first joined MCA simply because I wanted to make a difference, to stand up against the encroaching racial and religious discrimination in Malaysia, to speak out against what I perceive to be gross injustices perpetuated by the government against the non-Bumi community.

There were so many things I wanted to do....so many things that I thought could be done...

Then the battering began.

Day in day out, it never ceases.

Our deputy PM declares that Malaysia is not a secular state but an Islamic nation, despite it being stated so clearly in our country's constitution that Malaysia has, and always will be a secular nation....

The UMNO vilify Chinese schools as being harbingers of racial disunity, while at the same time clamoring for more local universities and colleges to be designated for 'Bumis only'....

The government talks about religious tolerance in the press, but not a single a mention was given to the other religions while the word 'Islam' and 'Muslim' was repeated over 20 times....

I could go on and on.

Honestly, in such situations, it is so easy to just detach yourself from it all. To just not give a damn, to just carry on with your daily routines and let other people worry about it .... because after all, it has always been this way and it always will isn't it?

For awhile, the thought of just not caring did cross my mind. But then I was reminded of this quote I read in an article, and the quote goes like this...

"The greatest tragedy of the 21st century is not tyranny, or racism, or greed...but indifference"

The moment we become indifferent to the pleas of our fellow men, to their suffering, to the injustice that permeates our society.... that is when we've lost touch of what it is to be human.

No way am I gonna let that happen to me. It's time to buck up.

The Return of the Yong

2007-08-01T20:48:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile...

I'm backkkkkkkk!!! Gosh, how long has it been? I'm sorry but the past few weeks have left me precious little time to blog. Work assignments and projects keep coming one after the other like some sort of freakish tsunami. Not that I'm complaining though...more projects basically means more moolah, and you can never have too much of that eh ;)

Quite a lot has happened in the past few weeks so I won't even bother trying to recap it (such an easy cop out eh...hyuk hyuk). Instead, I'll just post some pictures of some of the more memorable events which transpired in my absence from this blog.

Chi Yen & Daren's wedding

In what will definitely be one of the most memorable weddings for me, my old friend of umpteen years, Chia Chi Yen, tied the knot with Daren Woon. It's a match made in heaven really :) My heartiest congrats to the newly married couple!

(above: My first childhood friend to get married....tai ko lui ler!)

(above: When was the last time you saw a bride and groom perform at their own wedding? Both of them are awesome guitarists)

(above: Sit Fong, Fean, Hazel and Valerie (left to right))

(clockwise from top left: Yi Yin, Julie, Li-Ann, Angie)

(above: Apparently, guys aren't very creative when it comes to dressing. Everywhere you look, it's yet another guy wearing a striped shirt)

(above: Janice sang amazingly well, I on the other hand made a lot of amazing mistakes)

(above: Alvin's hands are mysteriously drawn to his nipples)

Klue Blue Chili Award

My girlfriend got nominated for the Klue Blue Chili Award a couple of weeks ago. This award basically seeks to recognize young individuals who have achieved a significant amount of success in whatever fields they are involved in.

Chor's Farewell

It seems that everyone is going abroad to further their career. The past couple of weeks saw another one of my friends leave for, where else, Australia to work. Being the good friends that we were, we decided to drag him for a karaoke session to torture him with our singing. Serves him right for ditching us here in Malaysia.

(above left to right: Samuel, some unknown dude, Chor and Julius)

(above: Julius singing what it truly means to be lonely)

(above: Although it looks like it, we're not in pain. Really)

Become a Malay in 3 Easy Steps

2007-06-11T08:52:00.000+08:00

Begitu senang sahaja!

We all know that our politicians tend to spout silly things. You don't have to look further than the Dewan Rakyat pages of our local dailies to get a taste of the pearls of wisdom that these 'intellectuals' have a habit of coughing up.

However, they always still manage to find ways now and then to surpass even your lowest expectations. Case in point, the Malacca Chief Minister Datuk Seri Haji Mohd Ali Rustam (phew...what a mouthful!). This bright fellow said recently that it is easy to become a Malay. Yup, easy. Apparently, he must be under the impression that there are loads of people out there who want to turn away from their original race to become Malays, but I digress.

He waffled on ...

"A person who is a Muslim, converses in Malay and follows the Malay traditions is considered a Malay"

Ermm....okay. Brilliant huh. Now EVERYONE can be a Malay, whether they are aware of it or not! I don't know about you, but since when did the word Malay change from denoting a race to a word you use to describe a category of people and their actions?

"Even if that person is Chinese or Indian or Kadazan, if they are Muslim or have converted, converse in Malay and follow the Malay tradition, then they are Malays."

By this MBs brilliant logic, everyone can be Chinese as well. All you have to do is..ermm...eat using chopsticks, play with Pop-Pop during Chinese New Year, use the word KNN CCB at least once a day, and spend at least an hour a week watching Astro Wah Lau Toi.

So simple hor. Then if you get sick of being a Chinese, all you have to do is change channels to Astro Vaanavil, eat loads of mutton rendang.... and voila! Instant Indian!

Become Bernard Yong in 3 easy steps!

Actually, I take back what I said. Maybe it's not sheer stupidity. This MB could be a bona fide genius!

Look at it this way, I am sure we have, at one point or another, wondered what it'll be like to be...say, David Beckham, or Angelina Jolie or something. Now, such dreams can be a reality using Mr MBs oh-so-simple logic!

Now for those of you who've always wondered what it's like to be me (nil, apparently), wonder no more! All you have to do to become Bernard Yong is:

1) Have a blog but update it only once every blue moon

2) Eat tons of haw flakes and dried pork meat aka long yuk

3) Watch Lion Kings 20 times

Easy peasy :)

Sad day in Malaysia

2007-05-30T12:56:00.000+08:00

Bigotry

The verdict for Lina Joy's case is out, and it does not surprise me one bit. Sad though, but expected.

Is the concept of 'freedom of choice' so alien to Muslims around the world? Why is it that day in, day out we read endless reports on how people are being hacked to death, blown up to bits, arrested by the government for even giving the slightest sliver of a thought to the renouncement of their Muslim faith? Sure, every religion has its fair share of narrow-minded zealots, but on a scale such as this? Do Muslims really believe that religion can be 'forced' upon someone?

Those questions are swirling around in my mind, but the answers to them continue to prove elusive.

My Fair Lady

2007-05-18T11:02:00.000+08:00

Oh Professor Higgins

My Fair Lady was excellent! - and no I am not referring to the 350Z. My girlfriend and I got hold of some Citigold tickets to catch the show last night and boy am I glad we did.

I grew up loving the movie My Fair Lady, with all its English idiosyncracies, enchanting musical scores and captivating performances by Hepburn, Harrison and Hyde-White as Doolittle, Higgins and Pickering respectively. I still remember how my sis and I would watch the show and attempt to memorize all the lyrics of the songs, which we'll then proceed to sing at the top of our lungs to the annoyance of our mother (and neighbors no doubt).

We loved it so much we even bought the sound track, twice! (quite common back then, knowing how 'durable' casette tapes were). Even after having listened to the songs so many times, the lyrics still have the ability to crack me up. Who can forget the line about the hairy pest from Budapest. Hilarious! *chuckle*

The musical play truly managed to capture the magic and occasion of the original, and I was totally spellbound throughout the show. I would seriously recommend this show to all those of you who grew up with the musical, you won't regret it!

I Hate the Holidays!

2007-04-30T20:15:00.000+08:00

Ooga Ooga

Now before you go thinking that I am some work-obsessed peon with nary a social life, let me first say that I love holidays with a vengeance. In fact, the slightest whiff of a holiday is enough to elevate me to a higher state of consciousness, and send me running around my garden clad in nothing but a bamboo leaf skirt whilst tossing grains of rice into the air in homage to God, and how in His divine wisdom saw fit to bless us lowly homosapiens with the abstract concept of a holiday.

Ah yes, holidays. Lovely things indeed.

Not this holiday however. You know how Murphy's Law goes right? That things will somehow conspire against you at the most inopportune of times. Well, this is one of those times. In the entire year, the very one period which I do NOT want to have any holidays suddenly gets peppered with 3 off days! And each day off means that I'll have to wait a further 24 hours before getting my hands on my new baby...*sighhhh*

First, we have the King's coronation. I mean c'monnnnnn! Just toss the darn sash over his shoulder, dump the crown on his head and be done with it. Need we declare a national holiday just for that? *grumble grumble*

Secondly, who's genius idea was it to put Labor day on the 1st of May? Of all days in the year, why 1st of May? I think it's utter bollocks. I hereby declare that Labor Day shall be on some arbitrary date such as the 14th of May, or the day after I get the keys to my new car, whichever comes last.

Thirdly, I think that all banks should be forced to stay open 7 days a week irregardless of holidays. Just think about it, banks are very important businesses!! What if a poor little old lady desperately needed to withdraw RM50,000 in order to pay off a loan shark who is after her for not repaying the loan she took to purchase crucial medication, and found that she could not due to the fact that all the banks were closed??! Loan sharks are vicious fellows, even towards lil' old ladies *shudder*.

In light of this compelling argument, I hereby decree that banks be required to stay open....forever! Muaahahah!

Alright, I'm babbling on here. My notions are rubbish, and I guess I'll just have to wait like every other single person for the banks to reopen their crummy doors on Thursday morning and continue processing my car loan. In the meantime, I'll just continue to stare morosely at these pictures, waiting for the day till it's finally parked on my front porch.

I hate waiting :P

For the less car savvy amongst you, the car you see below is a Silvia S15 (no, it's not a Putra :P), imported fresh from Japan. It cost me RM150K, which means I'll probably have to spend the next few years hanging around chinese coffee shops during lunch hour and subsisting on the bits of yee mee and kuay teow which fell off the wok. But hey....it's worth it :)

Goodbye to Old Faithful

2007-04-27T08:50:00.000+08:00

A GTi till the very end

In approximately a week or so, I'll be saying goodbye to my trusty Satria GTi, a car that has served me well for over 2 and a half years.

A car which accompanied me on journeys up north and down south...

On twisty, snaking roads and arrow straight highways....

From the congestion of city traffic to the free-open spaces of Malaysia's rolling terrain.

We went through a lot, this car and I. In all of this, the car never once complained. Faithfully whirring its motor to life every morning with an enthusiastic bark, it served as my daily commute day after day and when the roads called for it, it still managed to heroically cling to the corners, all four wheels squealing with pure abandon.

Motoring thrills don't get much cheaper and more compact than this. From the very first day that I had it till now, it was and still remains a true-blue Gran Turismo Iniezione.

It'll definitely be missed.

God is Great

I didn't expect to be changing cars this year actually. I've always planned to keep my GTi until I've successfully achieved several career & financial goals I set for myself when I started working a few years back. Little did I know then that these goals would be met, with much thanks and glory to God, before I turned 30.

Psalm 37:4 - ‘Delight thyself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart’

The verse above is amazing isn't it? We always think that somehow, when asked to trust and follow God, we'll be required to live a life full of suffering and material inadequacy. The verse above is really encouraging to me as it shows that not only does Jesus love you, but He cares about the things you love as well.

So take heart in the verse above! It's not like I've achieved super rich-dom, or like I'm replacing my GTi with a Ferrari or anything, but I do believe that this is just one of God's blessings and that He has many more in store for those who have faith in Him.

Amen!

Ah Zel's Birthday

2007-04-12T18:51:00.001+08:00

The clock is ticking

Another year, another friend joins me in the age where you can no longer claim to be in your 'mid-twenties'. Like a Grim Reaper of time, it viciously sucks us down an ever quickening spiral of senescence and senility. There is no escape, it takes no prisoners.

Having said that, it is good to have the company of friends on this journey, and as we grow old and gray, we can always look back and laugh at the days gone by.

Melodrama aside, the person I'm referring to is Hazel. An old friend of mine, we recently celebrated her birthday at the Friendster cafe.

The warning above is true! She IS the main cause for all sorts of meteorological malarkey, in fact I think she caused the forest fire which almost killed Bambi.

(above: Run Bambi run!!!)

Being a Monday night, only a few of us managed to make it but we still had loads of fun. There were 2 reasons for celebration that night, one was the aforementioned birthday, the other is Dan the Man's promotion! Looks like his manly charm works on lady bosses as well eh. Congrats to you dude!

I told Daniel that with great power comes great responsibility, and great chicks as well. He liked the part about the chicks.

Speaking of career advancements, we also unanimously decided that Chern Yuan's - after going through the best Oxford could offer - best career prospects lay in being a Petroleum Lube Engineer. His job scope would be to engineer the best lube in order to reduce friction when a hard shaft is inserted in and out a tight opening.....oerrrrr.

Alvin got very excited about the idea. Methinks he probably wants to be Chern Yuan's lab assistant, and help with him the lube experiments and prototyping.

Go figure.

While the guys were busy discussing the finer points of lube and why motorcycle riding is responsible for so many detached testicles, the girls were busy calling Sit Fong 'Gan Sit Fong', causing her to erupt in an explosion of uncontrolled bloodlust.

I didn't photoshop the picture below. The reddish tinge really did comefrom Sit Fong as a result of her rage. Scary stuff.

Oh well, here are some of the other pictures taken that night. Enjoy.

Yes, I am still alive

2007-04-06T11:04:00.000+08:00

Blood, Sweat, Tears & Chocolate Cakes

Some of my readers complained that I haven't been updating my blog regularly enough and were wondering whether was I still alive or have I been arrested by the ISA for disturbing the peace with my recent nude run down Bukit Bintang Street.

Piqued your interest now did I?...LOL

Ok, imaginary nude runs aside, my schedule has been increasingly packed as of late and I have precious little time to even pick up the newspapers, let alone blog. In fact, I've been practicing holding in my 'chocolate cake' so that instead of sitting on the throne for 10 minutes every day, I now only have to go once a week. True, this may not be good for my health, and my butt always feels like a meriam buluh just detonated within, but it saves me precious minutes - minutes which I am now using to type this post all because of YOU!

I tell you, the pain I go through for you.

Deuce Bigalow

I recently met this guy during work, while we were discussing possible ways to form a strategic partnership. Sounds like serious stuff right? But in spite of the 'seriousness' of the discussion, I had a terrible time trying to stifle my laughter every time his name was mentioned. Think I'm juvenile? Wait till you see his name below...

Yup, his name is MANHORE. I don't know about you, but that sounds too similar to MANWHORE for my liking. At first, I was reluctant to pronounce his name like how it was spelled, instead opting for the more 'polite' pronunciation of MAN-OR but he politely corrected me and it was then that I almost lost it.

Manhore. *chuckle*

Performing at No Black Tie

2007-03-27T23:05:00.000+08:00

No Black Tie, 26h March 2007

My girlfriend was invited to perform at No Black Tie this Monday, and guess who tagged along as the guitarist? Yup, you guessed it.

Although my schedule has been extremely tight the past few days, weeks even....how could I pass up the chance to introduce my brand of 'guitaring' upon the hapless patrons of No Black Tie? I admit, I was a bit unsure initially as I am more used to performing together with a full band (Sighh...oh how I miss HodgePodge).

This time around it was going to be just me, Janice Yap and our guitars. No fancy amplifiers, distortion and effects pedals to mask the mistakes which I will undoubtedly make.

Hurray :P

Practice makes purr-fect

As usual, due to a combination of procrastination and an overdeveloped sense of confidence in my ability to improvise, I didn't practice all that much before the performance. It wasn't till Sunday night that I realized "Shite! The show is tomorrow and I know nuts!"

What followed were a flurry of activities revolving around Janice running through her songs and me trying to strum my guitar and pluck at em' little strings. After a few hours of fooling around with the guitar, I felt reasonably comfortable.

Not too bad whut....

Can lah.

Break a leg

On that night itself, we performed 2 sets of 35 minutes each. The manager, Evelyn, of No Black Tie basically wanted to use this session to evaluate us (and by us I mean Janice...hahah), hence the slot on a Monday night. If she likes our sound, she'll book us for more prime slots on the weekends.

Should be interesting. I definitely wouldn't mind performing there again as the acoustics of the stage was pretty darn good. Being able to hear yourself, unlike at Laundry, sure makes a helluva lot of difference.

We'll see how it goes. As of now, we've been invited to perform in Attic and Alexis as well so it should be a pretty fun next couple of months.

Here are some pics taken from the night by Nick Tay and myself. Enjoy!

(above: Janice and Sue Ling)

(above: "Hmmm...Should I go to the loo now or wait till after the show?")

(above: Bryan, Charlene, Myself and Joanne)

(above: For those of you fellows who used to frequent Boom-Boom-Room back in the 90s, I am sure you will recognize Joanne Kam Po Po. She and Janice met during one show they did together and have hit it off pretty well ever since. On the right is Llew, the dude in charge of The Attic KL. Apparently, he liked my guitaring...so he's my new best friend)

(above: Alan and his colleague)

(above: Janice Yap with Nick Tay, our in-house photographer numero uno)

(above: Here are Stevie (right) and Johann (left). Stevie was kind enough to lend me his 'girlfriend' for the night. She was excellent! She made all the right sounds, felt good in my arms, and sat snugly on my lap. Magnifique!)

I Felt Bad, Really

2007-03-22T16:15:00.000+08:00

I was at an MCA meeting recently when one of the members really got on my nerve. It was ten-minutes into the meeting when the door to the room creakily opened and in walked an overweight dude with terribly unfashionable glasses. With pale, white skin that looked like it has spent the better part of the past decade indoors, I straight away deduced that his profession was either an engineer or an undertaker (later on I discovered that he is an engineer...bingo!).

As he approached our table, I did what any normal, mature adult would do. I introduced myself and reached out to shake his hand, causing the layers of blubber on his under-arm to wiggle and jiggle threateningly.

"Hi, my name is Bernard. Nice to meet you"

Normal right?

The fatso didn't say anything in return. No "My name is bla bla bla", or "Nice to meet you too" or "Gee...my arm is helluva fat".

Zip, Nadda.

He just shook my hand, sat down, and proceeded to chat with the people beside him. I was amazed. Apparently, I've stumbled across a rare breed of Stupidofilus Dunggulsapien. Scientist once thought that this breed was extinct due to the proliferation of great institutions of learning such as schools, colleges, universities and Google. All of which serve to wipe out stupidity from the human race.

I guess they were wrong.

Strike One.

The second annoying thing he did was to shoot down one of my suggestions in the midst of our discussion. Now don't get me wrong, I do not think that I am right all the time (I am right MOST of the time, but 'most' of the time is not the same as 'all' the time geddit). I can accept it if someone disagrees with me, but what I cannot stand is when a person disagrees but cannot sufficiently substantiate why.

Honestly, if you think my idea is not doable, then for goodness sake provide us with a better alternative. Don't just say "I disagree" and begin mumbling something vague and incoherent about setting objectives, focusing our efforts and achieving our goals when pressed to provide an alternative.

Strike Two.

I know in baseball three strikes make an out, but two strikes is more than I can tahan.

I didn't lose my cool however. I just sat back, smiled and let him go on with his explanation... before proceeding to rip every single one of his suggestion to shreds with a healthy dose of sarcasm and criticism. I didn't criticize just for the sake of it though, it was just that what he was suggesting was really very vague and silly.

This went on for quite awhile, with him struggling to futilely defend his suggestions and ego, before he finally gave up and proceeded to sit there glowering in silence.

I should have felt victorious. I should have been bursting with glee at having silenced him. But I didn't feel any of that.

Instead, I felt really, really bad.

It suddenly dawned upon me that I had let my conceit take over. What kind of person did I become in those few brief minutes? How could I take delight in tearing somebody down?

As a Christian I should always be compassionate and understanding towards my fellow man. Although it may be difficult at times, I should at least try my very best and not succumb to the 'easy way out'.

Feeling remorseful, I tried to make up for it during the rest of the discussion but I am afraid the damage may have already been done. What the Bible said is true, be slow to anger, and be quick to control your tongue.

It's a lesson I would do well to learn.

I hope he forgives me.

I Have A New Blog

2007-03-13T22:11:00.001+08:00

mypropertynews.blogspot.com

I've taken a page from Daren's book and decided to start my very own news blog. You can check it out here. It is called Malaysia Property News and it is basically a compilation of all property related news in Malaysia from major sources such as The Star, The Edge, Sun etc. Quite simple stuff ler, but I am hoping that it would be able to attract a sizable amount of traffic (thus making me oodles of money in the process).

As you can see from the link above (and in my sidebar), the site is still pretty bare with a few rough edges. Also, Google's AdSense is not yet up and running. They said that I have to wait a week for approval...ughhh, I hate waiting. Once it's approved, I'm going to have a hard time controlling the urge to pepper every last square-pixel of space with Google's Ads....but I'll try my best.

Junk Night Report

2007-03-13T21:48:00.000+08:00

Junk Night

Some of my friends are going to kill me for taking this long to post up pictures from our Junk Night performance, but it's not my fault! Work has a habit of piling up just when you least expect it, or want it to (which is pretty much all the time).

Anyway, the pictures taken with my gf's camera wasn't all that great so I had to pilfer some shots from Nick Tay, who by the way is an excellent photographer. Props to him!

All in all, the performance went really well. All of us were pretty chilled and relax before the performance. We didn't practice all that much, and in the end had to rely on our stupendously amazing talent to see us through...errr...right.

Our set was acoustic-based (think Nirvana unplugged, only without the rumpled, just-got-out-of-bed attire), which made it well suited to be the first performance of the night. As anyone who has performed will know, being the first is not necessarily a good thing. The crowd (especially Malaysian crowds) can be darn kayu during the first few hours! Seeing their emotionless faces stare back at you while you perform is enough to send any musician into a sobbing fit.

Thankfully, the crowd at Laundry was much, much more responsive than usual. I guess that was partly due to the huge amount of friends who turned up in support. Thank God for friends eh :) Although the manner in which some of them showed their support could be construed as quite gay, I know it's the thought that counts.

All in all, a great big thanks and shout out to the band members listed below:

Janice Yap - for without her, we wouldn't even be on stage
Leroy - for his ultra-high, ball-shrinking vocals which had the sound crew confused as to his gender
Amanda - for not killing us when she drove a few of us to Laundry
Simon - for his deft touch at handling testicle-shaped instruments
Eu Jin - for being everything a solid bassist should be

Junk Night @ Laundry, 7th March 2007

2007-03-06T18:51:00.000+08:00

Catch us there, at 9:30 pm

Yup, it's true. I'll be performing at Laundry together with a few other friends of mine this coming Wednesday (tomorrow). Laundry sure is brave to allow that. They must despise their customers a lot.

Scenes of angry mobs storming the stage and tossing my sorry arse out did cross my mind.

Twice.

Ok, truth be told, I'm just going to be a keh-leh-feh with a guitar. My girlfriend was the one they invited to perform as part of an event by Junk Magazine called, you guessed it, Junk Night. The purpose of this event is to feature the indie musicians and aspiring artistes in the local scene, and my girlfriend was selected based on the strength of her MySpace profile.

The organizers listened to her original songs and they liked it enough to invite her to perform. Little did they know that her band consists of 'musicians' like me *evil laughter*

The poster for the event is shown below, so do show your support and be there at 9:30 pm on 7th March. See ya!

My 27th Chinese New Year

2007-03-03T13:25:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back! Yes, I know it's been almost half a month of inactivity, but I just couldn't get myself into the mood to sit down and actually type out a decent post. The Chinese New Year holidays have left me a sloth-y, blubbering heap, with no motivation to get anything done whatsoever.

I blame it on those darn CNY cookies.

Thankfully, I've managed to recover from it and am now back with a vengeance...muahahah!!

Of course, no Chinese New Year would be complete without the annual 4th day CNY bash at Janice's house. Sadly, I dont think the pig enjoyed this CNY very much though. I mean, being made to wear that gawdy pink flower on its head....tsk tsk.

The lion dance troupe performed well this year. They also had a new member in their team, a little Chinese boy who with his shaved head and shaolin style clothing, looked like something out of 'The Last Emperor'. Standing beside the beating drums and cymbals, he was intently focused on the dancing lions. Pretty cute. I didn't manage to catch him on camera, but I am sure you can picture what I'm saying.

My friend Puay Li kept staring at that little boy. Fearing that she may have developed an unhealthy fetish for little bald boys, I asked her what she was staring at.

Puay Li: I'm amazed that he can tahan the sound of the drums! He is standing so close but he doesn't seem to be affected at all...wahhhhh!

Me: Ermm...I think he's wearing ear plugs.

Puay Li: Oh.

Another annual tradition is the 'Hoarding of the Karaoke Room'. With over a hundred guests and only 3 microphones, this is a case where the swift and fleet-footed (not to mention the thick-skinned) will succeed in getting the privilege of using the Karaoke room for the night.

Unable to take the horrendous screeching anymore, Oliver frantically tried to find the mute button on the remote. Unbeknownst to him, I disabled the mute function the night before .... muahahah!

Karaoke has a way of bringing out a side of people you've never seen. Take Roy (above right) for example. He may seem like a serious dude, being an AVP in Citibank and all - but with the right songs and a microphone in his hand, he'll turn into a lean-mean singing machine faster that you can say 'blimey'.

As for Chern Yuan and Alvin, their love continues to grow stronger each year. In fact, they are even considering eloping to Khazakstan where they can spend their days cultivating potasium while twiddling with each other's nips till the sun goes down.

4-Day Weekend Ahoy!

2007-02-16T09:16:00.000+08:00

Today is Friday, the last day of work before the Chinese New Year holidays, and I'm sitting here in my office busily pretending to be busy. I tried to get some actual work done, really....but my mind just kept wandering to things such as dried pork meat, orange kums and little red packets containing moolah.

The holiday mood has struck, and I know I'm not the only one afflicted by it. Admit it, you're just as guilty as I am *points finger*.

Another 10 more hours till the end of the working day, then it's straight on over to Velvet to celebrate CNY Eve's Eve. I can't wait for Sunday.

Gong Xi Gong Xi

2007-02-09T17:42:00.000+08:00

"On this Chinese New Yearrrrr....We all go to Ikeaaaaa...
Bring home new furnitureeeee....Celebrate togetherrRrRrRR!"

Ever since Ikea ran that annoyingly catchy jingly a few years back, I can't seem to hear the Gong Xi Gong Xi song without suddenly having the urge to stock up on sofa sets and caftans. Curse those marketers!

Anyway, annoying jingles aside, Chinese New Year has always been one of my favorite seasons of the year. There's just something magical about receiving little packets of money while chugging down obscene amounts of fizzy orange drinks and stuffing your face with huge slabs of dried pork meat.

Tong tong tong chiang

I'm also a sucker for lion dances, but this wasn't always the case though. I used to be terrified of them when I was a wee lad, and the sight of a dancing lion was enough to make me wet my pants (almost).

I blame this case of childhood lionophobia on one particularly silly pair of lion-dancers many many years ago, who thought that it'd be a good idea to actually APPROACH little children while waving a plastic lion head erratically about. Such dumb asses, if they tried that with the children nowadays they'd probably get a swift kick right in their nuts by little Nike-sneakered feet.

Yee suk, sam suk, tai ku cheong bla bla bla

Chinese New Year is also a time where you get to meet up with distant relatives and engage in terribly stimulating conversations. These conversations usually entail you being surrounded by long lost relatives while they barrage you with comments such as.....

"Wahhh...you put on weight already ahh!"

"Got girlfriend/boyfriend ah?"

"So when are you getting married horr? *wink wink nudge nudge*"

... before plonking down in front of a TV showing Fong Sai Yuk II.

Captivating stuff.

Get them off the screen!!!

Chinese new year also has its bad points, and by bad points, I mean the endless stream of music videos featuring tacky Chinese new year remixes, and little children with even tackier make-up.

For those of you non-Chinese people who may be wondering what I'm jabbering on about, picture this - a music video set in some Taman Titiwangsa lookalike place, little Chinese girls with make-up which would put a Geisha to shame, crap camera angles and a tackily remixed Chinese new year song. Sounds like a recipe for disaster ain't it.

I tell you, if I ever see another lip-syncing 10 year old girl with blood-red lipstick trying to act cute, I'm gonna put a boot through the TV screen.

But really, I'm just nitpicking

In spite of its little niggling faults, CNY has and always will be a great season of family bonding, friendship building, and waistline busting. So it is with this that I want to wish all my readers (sounds like I have so many readers when I put it that way right?...ha ha) a very happy Chinese New Year!!

Setia Alam

2007-02-01T09:25:00.000+08:00

Love At First Sight

I recently bought another house but unlike the previous one, this one is not for renting out as I intend to move in once it's completed. The house is in this new development by SP Setia called Setia Alam and it's located in Shah Alam.

I know, Shah Alam sounds friggin far right? Well, those were my thoughts initially, but after taking a drive there via the newly opened NKVE link which was built by SP Setia, I could begin to picture myself staying there. Via the highway, it only takes around 8 minutes from the Setia Alam toll to the Tropicana/Damansara toll. Bloody good if you asked me, it takes wayyy longer than that if I were to set off from Subang Jaya.

The Setia Alam development is also a huge one, comprising over 4,000 acres (one of the largest in the Klang Valley) to be developed over a period of 15 years. Now it is only the 3rd year into the development, so there's many more years of expansion and capital appreciation to come.

So Green Ahhhh

I was scouting around for a few months now for a suitable piece of property to buy, but most developments just didn't catch my fancy. When I went to Setia Alam however, I was really bowled over by its garden concept, with many green lungs and water features scattered throughout the development. The houses were nicely spaced out, the roads were really wide, every street was lined with a walkway, and they incorporated the increasingly popular 'green street concept' where there are no visible wirings or cables, and all the drains are covered.

Plus, the houses were very competitively priced. Especially when you think of what the same amount of money (RM270K) will get you in Subang Jaya/Petaling Jaya (not much!). Also, whereas Subang Jaya/Petaling Jaya are matured townships where the rate of capital appreciation has already plateaued, Setia Alam is still a very new development with many years of strong capital growth ahead of it. A gain of 20-30% upon completion, plus a year-on-year gain of at least 6% for the next 5 years is not too far-fetched.

What about my trusty old house?

It will be sad to leave my current house which has served me so well for almost 15 years. I initially thought of renting it out, but seeing how low the rental yields were in my area (approximately 2.5% net...arghhh!!!), I thought it'd be a wiser decision to sell it off, use some of the money to fully pay off my Setia Alam mortgage, and use the balance to invest in another property.

Anyway, those are just some of the plans. End 2008 is still a good 2 years away, and a lot of things could have changed by then. We'll see when the time comes :)

Okiku Begins Tomorrow Night

2007-01-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

My girlfriend's show Okiku, will be premiering tomorrow night at KLPAC. Regular readers would roughly know what the plot is about as I've written about it before in a previous post. I can't wait to watch it!

They had a press event last Friday at Maison where they gave the members of the media a sneak preview of what was to come. Even from that short little scene they acted out, I could tell that it was going to be pretty awesome. True, it's more of a drama-kind of play. Quite a departure from the usual musicals I'm used to, but hey, I'm still game for it.

Here are some of the pics from last Friday. You will notice that I'm in none of the photos (quite rare hor). This is due to the fact that I went straight after work, and as a result looked terrible and un-photo friendly. I admit, I can be a bit vain sometimes *cough cough*

Here is Janice Yap, who will be taking on the main role of Okiku for the play. She always plays characters who die one at one point or another during the show. I have no idea why, maybe she likes acting out dying scenes.

Goodbye cruel world!!!....*sob sob* *screeeeeaaaaaaammmmmmmm* *uuuurrrkkkk*

Not sure if you can see from the photos, but the outfits were amazing. I never knew traditional Japanese outfits could make a girl look so....so.....

....so hot! Those Japanese shoguns from the 15th Century sure were some lucky bast@#%$

The response from the crowd was great, and when the show ended the whole place was filled with claps and cheers. One encore definitely ain't enough.

Why, it's Samurai Jack! I don't think the sword he is brandishing is the real deal, it's probably made of plastic or something.

The cast of Okiku with some unknown dude standing in the centre...hmmmm.

Sadly, despite my best efforts to look 'seductive', no one crowded around me with their cameras and camcorders. Oh well.........

So the show will be starting tomorrow and will run till the 28th of January 2007. Show your love and support by getting your cyber-arse over to Okiku@KLPAC and book yourself some tickets!

See you there!

Honest Police Officer Sir, I Wasn't Aiming At His Head

2007-01-17T09:24:00.000+08:00

A turret here, and another one there

Is it just me or are the drivers on the roads of Malaysia getting more imbecilic by the day? Just this morning, I got honked at by some Blazing Idiot (BI) on the way out from Subang Jaya just because I ter-blocked his path for like 20 seconds. 20 SECONDS!! Sheesh....you can't even pick your nose satisfactorily in that time.

The BI was driving a black pickup truck (can't afford a real car eh) and went past me with his engine revving loudly and horn blaring like somebody just stuck a nail in his scrotum. What a dick. I almost wanted to give chase, wind down my window and show him the universal sign of friendship but I decided against it. One of my new years' resolutions is to stop losing my temper on the road, but at the rate I'm going, I'll consider it a major achievement if I even make it till February.

Hopeless Applicants

2007-01-11T09:00:00.000+08:00

Goodness Gracious Me

I recently put a job ad in The Star Classifieds. The purpose was to hire around 4 new marketing executives, but judging by the response so far, I'll be considered extremely friggin fortunate if I even manage to land a single good candidate.

The quality of the applications are hopeless! Hopeless I tell ya!!

I have received quite a few applications already, but just looking at them is enough to make my eyes water, my nose run and my balls shrivel up and drop off.

In fact, I think they already have :P

In view of the multitudes of clueless job seekers in Malaysia, here are a few tips when it comes to applying for a job. Presenting, Bernard's Cultural Guide to Job-Hunting for make benefit glorious nation of clueless people.

#1 - Include a freakin cover letter!

Don't lah just send me an empty email with a 2-page attachment containing your information. You think I'm a mind reader issit? Say lah what you're sending this in for, what position are you interested in etc. For all I know, you could be some spam-bot which sends out gazillions of mails with innocent looking attachments in the hope that a person will be foolish enough to open it thus causing his or her PC to implode on itself as the unleashed virus runs amok.

#2 - Provide detailed information on your career history

You have no idea how many people fail when it comes to this. A lot of them give crap information such as 'I worked at Ah Kow Sdn Bhd as a Junior Executive'. What the?? What in the world am I supposed to read from that?

Describe what it is your company does, and also your job duties and achievements. Unless of course you don't have any major achievements. If that's the case, then try to think of something noteworthy which you can crap about. For example, 'I successfully managed to streamline my company's data storing processes, resulting in increased efficiency and effectiveness'. Translation, I arranged my company's file folders in neat little stacks in alphabetical order. See? It isn't that hard right?

#3 - State your expected salary

Coz if you don't, I assume that you're willing to work for free.

#4 - Include a photo you pansy!

Despite stating in my job ad that I wanted applicants to include a passport photo, many of them chose not to. Why so shy lah? Do you have some hideous deformity, or some huge growth sticking out of your left ear-lobe?? Yeesh.

The only excuses for not sending a photo are (i) your face recently appeared on the front page of The Star under the headline 'Suspected Serial Dog Molester', (ii) you live in a land where cameras are thought to be of the devil and therefore banned (a land such as Terengganu, Kelantan, and any other PAS controlled area), and (iii) you're ugly.

If none of the above apply, then please oh please just send in a photo as well lah.

In conclusion

Follow my 4 quick and easy steps above and be on your way to a successful and glittering career! No longer will interviewers laugh in your face! No longer will they hurl abuse and human excrement after you once the interview is over! Walk into any interview with confidence knowing that you've followed Bernard's sound advice and are therefore ready for anything the employer may throw at you (except human excrement of course).

First Post of the Year

2007-01-08T08:35:00.000+08:00

Reminisce

Yup, it is 8 days into the new year and only now do I have the time to sit down and come up with a post for my blog. At first I thought of writing something pretty special, you know, since it is the first post of the year and all. But between my job, Christmas activities, New Year revelry and my on-the-side projects, I just couldn't find time to come up with a post which was worthy of the hallowed Hodgeriam blog *cough choke*.....ah well, you get my drift.

Looking back at the year that was, I can't help but be amazed at God's goodness and grace. The year 2006 was the 'Year of Increase', as shared by the leaders of my church. Throughout the most part of the year however, I recall barely being able to see any sort of increase in my life. It was all one struggle after another, one stumble after another. I almost thought that I've missed out on the promised increase through my own ineptitude.

It was only at the end of the year that all of God's promises seemed clearer. That it all somehow came divinely came together. And you know what, it was more than what I had even dared to hope or ask for.

One verse which resonated strongly within me during the latter parts of the year was Ephesians 3:20.

Now glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.

Powerful isn't it. The verse says 'beyond what we would ever dare to ask or even dream of'. I am sure all of us have big dreams. I know I do, I dream big all the time.

So here God is, saying to me that whatever my dreams are, no matter how big I may think they are, it is nothing compared to what He has in store for me. It is practically like comparing a puddle of water with the Pacific ocean, a grain of sand with the Sahara, a single blade of grass with the vastness and might of the Amazon. Our dreams, my dreams are THAT insignificant when compared to the plans of God.

The thought of that fills me with a renewed sense of hope and courage. That as long as we put God first, and follow Him, the results and rewards will be far beyond what our limited minds can fathom.

Amazing. Then again, I have an Amazing God :)

The year 2007 is the Year of Venture, and with it comes new journeys, new territories and new mercies. I don't know about you, but I absolutely can't wait to see what God has in store for me. It's gonna be a blast.

Shown below are some photos taken during the last few days of the year 2006. Enjoy.

(above: My church had it's very own original Christmas production, and it was fantastic!)

(above: Hwee Yen, Norman and Janice as Amy, Michael and Lisa)

(above: I was initially supposed to play the role of James, an arrogant spoilt brat. I wonder why. I couldn't though due to my tight schedule, but in the end, Shahnon gallantly rose to the challenge and he was magnifique!)

(above: Liang doing his thang as only Liang knows how)

(above: My old friend, Alex aka Fei Chai had his wedding on Christmas Eve. I can't believe he is a married man now. But married man or not, I still think he looks like a Furby, don't you agree?...hahah)

(above: We had our Christmas countdown in my girlfriend's house. However, due to the fact that a large portion of the night was spent watching Borat (and getting grossed out by the sight of two naked adult men wrestling in a hotel room, I refrained from posting up any photos lest I offend my more mature readers)

(above: The baby has grown!)

(above: The girls used to blame me for grouping them under the 'Ugly Boys Clan', I have no idea why. Frankly, I think they like the idea of it more than I do)

(above: We had a Christmas gathering at Adrian's house. It was a pot bless, so everyone was supposed to bring a particular dish. As always, everyone ended up bringing wayyy too much food)

(above: Daniel showing his manliness by dissecting a poor, headless turkey. Hou man ah!!)

(above: You're never too old for...ermm..Alice in Wonderland)

(above: Speaking of Daniel, did anyone notice his nicely sculpted eye-brows? Hou man ah!!)

(above: We toasted to these cups of bubbly. I know they look like liquified candy floss, but you know what....they probably are. One cup alone is enough to send any diabetic to the ICU)

(above: Proof that watching Borat can be a bad influence. Alvin and Jon developed a penchant for man-on-man wrestling. Thankfully they kept their clothes on...I think )

(above: Brothers-in-arms)

Blasted Thieves!

2006-12-28T08:43:00.000+08:00

Mother never teach ah??!

Somebody stole my phone from my office and I suspect it's those blasted air-con repairmen. My poor Atom, I hardly had it for more than 3 months and now it has been cruelly taken from me!

All I did was leave it on my desk while I went to my boss' room for a short meeting. I should have known better than to leave stuff lying around while there were outsiders walking about in the office. Those @%#$@$!! Why couldn't they have swiped my crappy old Samsung instead? Besides the fact that it is probably worth less than the box it came in by now, it still looks ok whut. Picky thieves....*grumble*

I hereby lay a hex on the thief who had the nerve to steal my phone. May his testes develop a severe case of gangrene and drop off into a mushy pile of rotting, gooey flesh as a result of what he did! May his kukuciau shrivel up to the size of a dried chili padi with tufts of pubic hair sprouting out from his sore covered lan tau! May he get sodomized by a pack of rabies-infected dogs while he is on his way to the hand-phone shop to fence his stolen booty! While running away from the pack of horny dogs, may he get run over by an Alam Flora truck driven by a man named Ali!

That'll teach him.

Silver Linings

2006-12-21T08:41:00.000+08:00

I was driving home after work yesterday when I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw something glittery sticking out from my head at an awkward. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was a strand of white hair. A STRAND OF WHITE HAIR!!

There it was, standing tall and proud like some sort of white flag of surrender. I can't believe it. I've never had any white hair before. All my life, my hair has always been nice and black - well, black at least. I can just about feel the heavy weight of age creeping up upon my shoulders and no amount of shrugging is going to throw it off.

I tried to ignore it but I could see it out of the corner of my eye, fluttering about wildly in the breeze of my car's air-con, and it was driving me mad.

With one hand on the steering wheel and one eye on the road, I tried to grab the little sucker and yank it out. It isn't easy I tell you. After several close brushes with the kerb, a lamp post, and a bus driven by an irate little man, I finally won the battle against the aforementioned follicle and extricated it from my scalp.

Holding it triumphantly above me like some sort of prize, I felt the thrilling rush of victory. One point for me, nil points for the Grim Reaper of atrophy. Giving the rest of my head a brief once over, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realised that it was only this one hair which decided to become a traitor and turn silver. A lone ranger.

But still, I know that this was probably just an advance scout. The main army surely can't be far behind.

That's scary.

Time to batten down the hatches.

December Babies

2006-12-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

2 of my good friends - Daniel and Yi Yin - recently celebrated their birthdays. As what is befitting such a glorious occasion, a group of us gathered together, sang a horrendously out-of-tune rendition of 'Happy Birthday', threw stupid jokes at one another, indulged in an incessant stream of inane banter, and generally had a good ol' time just doing what friends do.

Below are some shots taken from those 2 nights.

(above: The Birthday boy Dan-The-Man clutching his birthday booty)

(above: Even in a upmarket place such as Mont Kiara, street prostitution was still rampant)

(above: This is Santa Claus post-Atkins)

Kelantan Encourages Homosexual Behavior

2006-12-18T18:06:00.000+08:00

Boogey Wonderland

When I read that the Kelantan government has decided to allow clubs to be opened for tourists and non-muslims, I thought to myself.."Hmm...maybe those PAS-folks are beginning to gain some common sense after all"

I should have known it was too good to be true though.

According to Kelantan's Menteri Besar, the kind of club (or in his words, a 'disco') he envisioned was one where men boogied with other men. Yup, you heard me right. All the gays of the world rejoice! Kelantan has officially stated (unintentionally) that it's vision for the year 2007 is to be a state where people can listen freely to the Village People and do YMCA-style dance moves all night long.

The thought of a a mens only club where guys go to dance with other guys must probably send shivers of joy and excitement down the spines of all the PAS members and ministers.

Now I know what they do behind all those closed door meetings. I once thought that they were busy debating issues of national importance (such as whether women are allowed to have names, or should they all just be called 'awek'), but noooo...they are probably busy dirty dancing with one another.

Well to all PAS members, don't worry. With these mens-only clubs, you no longer have to be ashamed! Your penchant for boogeying with old senior assemblymen need no longer be confined to boring old meeting rooms and conference halls. Now you can bring your Menteri Besar, Ministers and Datos to the nearest disco and watch them shake their thang'.

Oh joy, I can't wait!

Package Me Up Scotty

2006-12-14T18:08:00.000+08:00

Nice or not my packaging?

After operating for a few months and with business picking up, I've decided to beautify the packaging of 3riplets' products a little bit. Using me and my partner's combined creative and artistic flair, we spent many hours painstakingly coming up with the design you see above.

Be amazed at how neatly the brown paper envelope is folded! Ogle at the calligraphy's quality! Marvel at the sheer symmetry of the 3 cellophane tapes running down the front!

Woo hoo, it's a thing of beauty!

*ahem*...Ok lah, I'm talking crap here.

The package looks exactly the same, EXCEPT...and this is a big 'except'.....

..for the cool rubber-stamped logo. Isn't it just bloody fantabulous?

It all started one day, when me and my friend sat down and talked about how we can improve the 'professionalism' of 3riplets (which btw, is our online apparel trading biz). Of course, with every grand plan, a budget has to be allocated. Due to the fact that we are both tightwads, we decided to pump in a grand total of 15 bucks for the 'Project Meng-professional-kan 3riplets'.

Needless to say, 15 bucks can't get you much BUT it can buy you a pretty nifty little rubber stamp. So with a ten and five ringgit bill clasped in our hands, we approached a nearby printing shop and gave them our requirements.

Us : "We want a rubber stamp"

Shop owner: "Cannnn"

Us: "Must got the word 3riplets wan"

Shop owner: "Cannnn"

Us: "Must be big and nice"

Shop owner: "Cannnn"

Us: "Must be around 15 bucks"

Shop owner: "!%@$@#%...kiamsiap ka xi!" (translation: stingy until can die)

It went something along those lines. Anyway, to cut a long (and boring story short), we collected the stamp after a day, brought it home and carefully removed it from its plastic prison.

Gingerly placed it on the ink pad...

..pressed it on our paper bag..

...and voila, 15 bucks of professionalism for our dear customers.

Who said running a business requires a lot of money? =)

Okiku

2006-12-08T09:16:00.000+08:00

Okiku @ KLPAC

My girlfriend is involved in an upcoming play titled 'Okiku'. This play is based on a classic Japanese ghost story. The story behind this is about some perverted Samurai who blackmails a maid in his house into becoming his mistress by framing her for the theft of some valuable plates, or something like that. The maid in turn, throws herself into a well in desperation and...ermm..basically dies.

Wait, that's now how it ends. The good part is when she returns as a ghost and haunts the perverted samurai every single night till he goes insane. I can so picture my girlfriend as a vengeful, crazy, wailing-in-the-middle-of-the-night ghost! I think she'll be superb at it...hahahah.

For a proper description of the story of Okiku, head on over to here. In the mean time, here are some posters to whet your appetite.

Weekly Bernard News

2006-12-04T23:24:00.000+08:00

I realized I haven’t been posting for more than a week now. So I thought I’ll just compile all the highlights of my past week into one post and fashion it after a news segment ala Bernard. How brilliant is that?

Main

26 NOV – 1 DEC 2006: The author spent most of his time under house arrest due to the financial crunch which came about as a result of 2 months spent bumming around. Savings were at an all time low, unemployment was at 100%.

Visited a few bars with friends and mooched off their bottles. The author recorded no outflow of capital from his treasury reserves. Venture was a complete success.

Sports

2 DEC 2006: The author went for an MCA Whitewater Rafting and Abseiling Trip to Gopeng Perak, courtesy of the Under-35 MCA Division and Datuk Lee Hwa Beng.

Members paid good money to sit in small, rubber boats while charging towards large menacing rocks. The author suffered an off-boat excursion due to a particularly large and nasty drop. Due to the author’s hardy frame and ultra-muscular build, no injuries were sustained.

The crowd cheered and clapped wildly as the author heroically hoisted himself back onto the boat with one hand, while the other hand fought off an angry 25 foot crocodile.

Author was awarded a gold medal for bravery.

Music

3 DEC 2006: Janice Yap participated in the annual MRSC Song Writing Competition and walked away with a medal for 2^nd runners up.

The event was a great success and it managed to attract top talent from throughout Malaysia.

During the event, the author put to rest the oft-asked question “What is the maximum number of SMS you can send in an hour?” The answer - five hundred and eighty five.

Career

4 DEC 2006: Work commenced, and the day was spent familiarizing self with company operations, goals and strategies. Bidding farewell to cubicle-dom, the author finally got his own office. Spirits were high, mood was jovial.

Spent the rest of the day thinking of ways to decorate the office.

Decided that whiteboards were tacky and crossed it out from the ‘list-of-things-to-hang-on-the-wall’.

A sponge-board will look much nicer!

The End.

My Demons...

2006-11-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

Ms. Hypertune

2006-11-18T11:35:00.000+08:00

At the Club

I met up with a few friends of mine at Soda Club, who were some of the official sponsors for the Ms. Hypertune 2006 event. And before you think that I'm some perv who enjoys ogling at an endless string of bikini clad women, let me clarify that I was there mainly to meet up with my friends. The beauty pageant was but a mere distraction...*ahem*

The night was pretty mundane, with the exception of some moron who called in with a bomb scare. Such idiocy! In the end, everybody had to evacuate the club for the better part of an hour while a team of police combed the building with their sniffer dogs. Bugger.

After what seemed like ages, they finally let us back in. Due to the delay, the beauty pageant only began at around 11-ish. I wasn't that excited about it though, I've seen the past Ms. Hypertune pageants before and for some reason, the girls contesting just don't strike my fancy. They can usually be divided into 2 categories, a) pretty in an ah lian way, and b) ugly in an ah lian way. No matter how you cut it, they are all usually ah lians. Such a pity.

As the contestants began to walk onto the stage, every male began to jostle and fight tooth and nail for a vantage spot, leaving their girlfriends fuming at the back. Hah....they are soooo gonna get it later at night.

Me and my friends were seated in the VIP section, and therefore had the 'luxury' of having the girls come to us. We did not have to jostle with the above mentioned Neanderthals, thus preserving our dignity.....hahah.

In the end, I got bored halfway through the event and decided to leave. Like I said, beauty pageant's aren't my thing. As the girls paraded up and down our section, my mind kept wandering to other things. Which is quite scary if you actually think about it. We've become so desensitized to sex that the sight of scantily-clad woman gyrating to music can get boring pretty quickly.

Either that or the contestants weren't that hot to begin with...hahah

Here are some photos, you decide.

Decline of a Nation, UMNO General Assembly

2006-11-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

My optimism has faded

UMNO recently kicked off their general assembly and our local newspapers have been plastered with reports on speeches made by their politicians, issues discussed by their ministers and grouses vented by their members.

Reading all these reports, I inadvertently felt a heavy sinking in my heart. After all these years of independence, after so many years of working and striving together, it is incredibly sad and frustrating to see that the issue of Malay rights and equity-ownership still takes precedence over everything else.

While the rest of the world marches ahead with globalization, and millions of people around the world are enjoying levels of prosperity which is unmatched in the history of mankind, our UMNO politicians are still intent on maintaining their stranglehold (and even increasing it in fact) on a piece of an ever-shrinking pie.

I once felt optimistic about Malaysia. I once thought that it was a great country to be in, that everyone had an equal chance to succeed given hard-work. Today, for the very first time, I actually thought about what it would be like to leave the country. I am not saying that I will migrate. I am just saying that the thought fleetingly crossed my mind, and that saddens me.

They don't seem to care that Malaysia is sliding down the ranks of competitiveness, transparency and education. After all, according to UMNO and the people they represent, everything is a zero sum game right? In order for them to win, someone has to lose.

This mentality, together with all the problems which plague UMNO and Malaysia is neatly encapsulated in this speech given by Azlieza Azizan, the Malacca representative of Puteri Umno. She said, and I quote,

"We want the Malay corporate equity ownership to be raised to 60%. We have been tolerating the private sector for too long. They apply strict regulations to make it difficult for us to find a place (in the market)"

In a nutshell, her lack of progress is everybody else's fault except her own. The concept of meritocracy is alien to her. The concept of hard-work, sacrifice and perseverance are shunned by her in favor of complacency, greed and self centered-ness.

I know I have Malay readers for my blog. To them, I plead, please oh please tell us that not every Malay sees things the way Azlieza Azizan does. Reassure us that we all have the country's best interest at heart, and that we will all work together to ensure that Malaysia continues to prosper in the international arena.

Not all Malays think like her right?

To those who don't speak up and be heard.

There were many, many other comments which were uttered by people such as Hishamuddin and Khairy which reeked of racially-tinged aggression, but for the sake of brevity I will not quote them in this post. You only have to pick up any newspaper to see just how divided our country has become. Everything seems to be simmering just beneath the surface, and I sincerely hope that it will not reach its boiling point, for all our sakes....

...for all our sakes.

(above: What happened to the Malaysia I knew)

Making A Decision

2006-11-12T01:18:00.000+08:00

Status Quo No More

It's been 10 days since my last post. I don't know why, but even with all the free time I've had over the past few weeks, I just can't seem to find the inspiration necessary to come up with a post which will not put my readers to sleep after the first 2 sentences. (My posts usually put my readers to sleep after 2 paragraphs, which is a great achievement me thinks!)

Yup, I have been relatively free over the past 4 weeks. Not surprising actually, considering that I've been unemployed. Yes ladies and gents, I have uttered the dreaded 'U' word. No, not 'underwear' you nitwit, UNEMPLOYED!

Some of you may already know this, but I left my previous employer around a month ago. I know I know, most people would ask why in the world did I leave before securing a new job right?

Well, without trying to sound corny, I left early because I felt it wasn't right for me to continue accepting my pay when I wasn't giving a 100% anymore to the company.

Alright, there is NO way of saying that without sounding corny.

I'm not claiming to be an extremely noble individual or anything like that. But I just felt it was the right thing to do. After only around 3 months into the job, I realized that the IT industry was not where I wanted to be 10 years from now. I just couldn't get myself sufficiently excited over software solutions and system integrations and bla bla bla. Sorry to all you IT folks out there who get goose-pimples and tingling feelings up and down your spines whenever somebody mentions the words 'system development life cycle', 'object oriented programming', 'database mirroring' and 'tivoli/websphere/lotus/(insert name of boorish IT product here)', but it's just not my cuppa tea.

Having said that, I would really like to thank God for recently blessing me with 3 new job offers. I'm currently contemplating on which one I should accept, as they all each have their attractive points. I hope to be able to come to a decision by next Monday, not much time, I know. Ah well, I'll just have to pray hard :)

Turning 26

2006-11-02T12:48:00.000+08:00

29th of October

Gosh, has it already been 26 years? Time seems to creep up on you, ready to pounce when you least expect it. It only seemed like yesterday that I was a fresh faced college kid, eagerly awaiting his first day in college. Now, I'm a working person with 4 years of work experience under my belt. I know 4 years is not much, but it sure doesn't seem like it.

Heck, in another 4 years, I'll be celebrating the big three-oh *shudder*

I can't imagine myself as a 30 year old man. Then again, a few years ago I would have told you that I couldn't imagine myself as a 26 year old young adult. A person's perspective of age sure changes a lot the older they get eh. When you're 18 years old, you think being 30 is old. When you're 30, the 'old' age is 40, and when you're 40 it gets pushed back another 10 years or so. Soon, we'll have 60 year olds claiming that life only begins at 70.

Denial me thinks?

As for me, I intend to age gracefully (I hope!). I know at 26 I am no longer considered young. Sure, I still fall under the category of a young adult, but I'm no longer young in the 'carefree, youthful' sense. I am only young in the 'hair still black, face haven't wrinkled, perut haven't buncit' sense.

26 green bottles hanging on the wall.......

So how does it feel to be 26? Not much difference actually. Sure, my body doesn't process junk food as well as it used to anymore, resulting in my gaining weight (ugghh); my hair seems to be thinning in certain areas; and I am beginning to get that old person syndrome where your body creaks and pops whenever you change from a sitting to standing position, and vice versa. But other than that, there is not much difference - really.

Of course, to me there is not any difference, but I am sure that it won't be long before school kids start looking at me and thinking 'uncle'. Even now, toddlers and pre-schoolers are being taught to address me as Uncle Bernard.

Arghhhh!!!

I tell you, the day 20 year olds start calling me Uncle Bernard is the day I'll buy myself a flashy sports car and zip around in a vain attempt to recapture my youth. Forget everything I said about aging gracefully!!...

The grim reaper of age and senescence will have to pry the chalice of youth from my cold, dead fingers!

He'll have to drag me kicking and screaming down the alleyways of arthritis...

..across the ditches of dentures, over the gunungs of geriatricity and through the valleys of viagra-dependancy!

I won't go down without a fight!!

My birthday, Brokeback style

The melodrama aside, this year's birthday was pretty memorable for me. Not only because my girlfriend brought me horseback riding, but because I managed to spend it with the people who matter to me the most - my family, girlfriend and friends.

Oh, did I mention I went horseback riding? It was something my girlfriend planned for me, and it was my first time. Yup, I'm a virgin when it comes to spreading my legs and mounting a big, hairy, muscular animal...oerrr.

It was quite scary at first. Walking up close to a large animal such as a horse, I couldn't help thinking "What would happen if it turned around and kicked me in my nuts?"

Thankfully, I never got the chance to find out as I obediently followed the instructions of the horse-dude and planted myself near the head of the horse at all times.

After explaining the basic components of horse riding, the instructor asked me to get on the animal and take it around their small track. Getting on it was simple enough, but once it started moving it was an entirely different story altogether.

"Tarik rein ke kanan untuk jalan kanan!" yelled the instructor, who by the way is named. Junior.

I yanked my reins to the right, but nothing happened. Bear in mind that at that time I was traveling straight towards a wooden wall (I know that the horse wouldn't be stupid enough to run into a wall, but that knowledge somehow eluded me then)

"Lebih Kuat!!"

Panicking at the sight of the fast approaching wooden wall, I gave a might tug at the reins. The horse responded by giving a loud, annoyed snort and ignored me entirely.

Crikey! Images of me somersaulting over the horse and the wooden wall, off the cliff and to my death crossed my mind. Thankfully, the horse avoided the wall (as a horse normally would) and I timidly let it lead me around the track a few times while I worked out the proper technique for using the reins.

After while, I got it! When the horse first responded to my commands, it was amazing. Pull left on the reins, and it goes left - pull right and it goes right - pull back and it stops. It's just like a remote control car! A remote control car which can throw me off its back whenever it likes and stomp on my nuts of course.

I am glad to report however, that there were no nut-stomping incident throughout the entire hour we were with the horses. Instead, we went for a very fun one hour ride around Bukit Tinggi. Sitting atop such a majestic animal, with the clip-clop of its hooves emanating throughout the hillside - I almost felt like Legolas from LOTR. Of course, unlike Legolas, I almost shitted in my pants when the horse suddenly began to gallop.

Looks like I'll need a few more lessons before I can reenact my LOTR fantasies.

Birthday parties

I say parties because I was not the only one celebrating a birthday on that particular weekend. My friend Norman also celebrated his together with 2 other friends of his.

Below is a picture of the birthday dude looking nice and sober. I heard that wasn't how he ended his night though....hahahah.

Daniel on the other hand, appeared quite normal - but the truth became apparent when he strutted around with his chest sticking out, inviting us to abuse him. We came up with a very good test to see how sober a person is (which we tested on Daniel), we even had it down on video but due to its nature, I don't think it's appropriate for me to post it here *ahem ahem*

For my birthday, we celebrated over dinner at The Smokehouse along Jalan Ampang.

I am quite malas to story what happened. The photos are pretty self-explanatory hor.

All in all had a great time on my birthday. Thanks to all my family and friends who made it special for me. When I turn 30 we'll celebrate big time okay? We'll all go get ourselves a couple of drinks (tea of course) and reminisce about the good old days when we were young and full of vitality!

Sounds like a plan!

Workshop Blues

2006-10-30T14:00:00.000+08:00

It started with just some minor vibrations...

I hate sending my car to the workshop. No matter how pristine you think the condition of your car is, the mechanics through their sheer genius, will somehow always manage to find 5 other things in your car which needs replacement lest it cause your car to blow-up in a gigantic fireball while chugging along the federal highway (killing many innocent civilians in the process and making you wish that you had spent the measly RM100 to get the faulty component fixed in the first place).

Over the past few weeks, my car began developing slight vibrations when traveling at above 140kmh. Thinking it was just a minor balancing problem, I sent my car to a nearby tyre shop to have the wheels balanced.

What, to me, was supposed to be a simple job costing less than RM100 bucks ballooned up into a RM1500 bill. Seeing my ashen face, the mechanic hurriedly offered to give me a small discount (I don't think their insurance covers customers fainting and dying in their premise as a result of bill shock).

In the end, I forked over RM1340 to fix a myriad of problems, from a balding tyre to a misaligned camber. There goes a portion of my savings for the month.

Bugger.

Roy's Birthday Gathering

2006-10-25T12:12:00.000+08:00

It's Hari Raya and I'm too lazy to think of things to write. Here are some pics from last Saturday Night, when I met up with a few friends at SevenEightNine for drinks, in celebration of Roy's birthday. Enjoy!

One of my readers commented that I seem to post up a lot of pictures of guys kissing, tweasing each other's nipples etc. AND they always seem to involve the same few fellows.

I dont wan't to name names, but Alvin, Chern Yuan, Jon and Eugene seem to have this condition where they are compelled to express their pent-up feminine urges when in the presence of each other. I assure you that they are currently seeking professional help.

We still love them though.

Uncle Lim loves his tea, and thanks to him, I'm beginning to see the appeal of ordering tea as well. Its a real bargain! All you have to do is keep topping up your teabag with hot water and voila, you have a drink to last you through the whole night. Hmmm.....I wonder if the smart boffins at Boh can concoct up beer-flavoured tea. Now THAT would be awesome :)

Girls talk about the weirdest things.

Ever noticed how some people always have the urge to put on a ridiculous, konon-nya cute smile and stick up their fingers in a 'V' sign when faced with a camera? Well stop dissing them. It's cool, really....*ahem*. Below is our homage to all the kawaii girls around the world.

Random Anniversary

2006-10-22T13:52:00.000+08:00

Random + Anniversary = Something very special

My girlfriend recently had this brilliant idea to randomly choose a date and celebrate it as our 'random anniversary'. Don't ask my why, the way a female mind works is plain strange.

I thought, "Wouldn't this diminish the significance and importance of our actual anniversay?"

Nope, she said. According to her female logic, it would actually 'enhance' the special-ness of our anniversary when it comes around. Ermm...right.

In selecting a location, we settled for attic KL seeing as how parking there is hardly ever a problem, and we were in the mood for somewhere nice and quiet. After downing a few cocktails, I began to see that there was something to this random celebration cum anniversary after all.

Life can sometimes reek of routine, and a little random celebration can definitely help to break up the monotony. Think about it, we have so many things to be thankful for, and which warrants a 'celebration' hor?

My initial scepticism swept aside, I was convinced. Therefore, I want to let all my friends know that I'll be celebrating my random birthday today...or anytime else I feel like it.

After all, it's supposed to be random :)

A Slap in the Face of Non-Bumis

2006-10-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

Worrying state of politics in Malaysia

The headline of today's The Star caught my eye. In big, bold words, it stated 'Nothing to Hide' and it contained an interview with our PM on the recent ASLI debacle. Reading the article however, was like receiving an outright slap in the face.

It started with this question by the interviewer, with reference to the questions posed by Gerakan on the accuracy and methodology of the Government's figures on Bumi equity ownership.

"It is as if the non-Malays are disputing the rights of Malays when the Malays are not questioning non-Malay rights"

I never knew that putting forth perfectly valid questions was considered disputing the rights of the Malays. That in a nutshell, describes the problems our country is facing. So long as a certain segment of our sociaty see all the hand-outs they receive as a God given birth-right, and not as a crutch for them to get their act together, we will get nowhere.

And honestly, is there a need to phrase this question in such a questionable way? Why is there a need to pit the bumis against the non-bumis? Of course the bumis aren't questioning the rights of the non-bumis, we never had any race-specific rights to begin with!

Meet My Friend

2006-10-13T11:13:00.000+08:00

Can Bumis Achieve 30%?

2006-10-11T15:56:00.000+08:00

Ssshhhh....we're actually not all that clever

Dr Lim Teck Ghee, director of Centre for Public Policy Studies (CPPS), has resigned as a director of Asian Strategy and Leadership Institute (Asli). This organisation, as you all may well know, was the one which recently released a report which showed that the Bumi ownership of equity in our country has reached around 45%.

This far exceeds the 30% target which is the basis of our NEP, which was set more than 30 years ago.

There has been a debate going on about this over the past few days, and to be honest, its pretty hilarious. One on hand, we have the non-Bumis who believe that after incurring the cost of tens of billions of ringgit, the Bumis have successfully managed to meet and exceed the 30% target of equity ownership.

The Bumis on the other hand deny this vehemently and claim that in spite of all the tens of billions of ringgit which have been poured into this initiative, they only control around 18% of our economy. A figure which has hardly moved over the past 10 years.

So funny hor.

I can just imagine this scene in parliament....

Non-bumi MP: We should revise the NEP because the Bumis are very hardworking and clever and have achieved equity ownership of 45%.

Bumi MPs: No, we are not hardworking and clever at all, and we still need the NEP to ensure that we can progress.

Non-bumi MP: Where got!! You all are very very clever already!!

Bumi MPs: NO!! We are not clever at all! Just ask anyone! We still need government help!

Non-bumi MP: Clever!!

Bumi MP: Not clever!!

Non-bumi MP: CLEVER!!!!

Bumi MP: NOT CLEVER!!!

Non-Bumi MP: Clebber clebber dirty fellow!!

Bumi MP: Kanineh %$@#!!!

Smells like fish spirit

That's basically it isn't it? One group claims that the other is in fact, pretty competent and is able to meet the target which are set by their forefathers. The other group on the other hand, insists that they are still backwards and are doomed to a life of grief-stricken subsistence.

Which group is right? Well, who knows.

All I know is that the sudden reversal in ASLI's opinion seems mighty suspicious. One minute ASLI is defending the validty of their research and the methodologies used to come up with the figure of 45%, the next their president Mirzan Mahathir is back-tracking and saying that there were significant shortcomings in their calculations.

One can't help but wonder whether were there any strings pulled, or carrots waved to get ASLI to refute their very own research results.

Also, Dr Lim Teck Ghee was quoted in a press statement saying:

"Since I cannot agree with Mirzan's statement and because of the need to defend the position and integrity of independent and non-partisan scholarship, I regret to inform that I will be stepping down from my position as director at the end of the month"

I find the inclusion of 'the need to defend the position and integrity of independant and non-partisan scholarship' to be particularly interesting. I am sure we all know what Dr Lim is trying to imply with that statement.

I guess the million dollar question stil remains (or in this case, tens of billion ringgit question), "how many percent of our economy do the Bumis really own?"

Khairy the Fear-Monger

2006-10-05T09:01:00.000+08:00

This is the kind of leader we have?

A few days ago, I read an article which touched on the need to ensure that there are more bumis in the information communications technology industry. Of course, when it comes to highlighting the 'plight' of the bumis and their need for 'rescue' by the government, who else better to quote than Umno Youth Deputy Chief, Khairy Jamaluddin?

After all, he's made it part of his political platform to continually remind the bumis of how helpless they will be without Umno around.

Reading excerpts from his speech made me laugh out loud.

And I wasn't even in a very laughy mood that day.

Here's some of the good stuff from his speech.

1) "Bumiputras should be given priority in new sectors such as biotechnology and information communications technology (ICT), to ensure they are not left behind" - Khairy Jamaluddin

Apparently, Khairy doesn't seem to know that over the past few decades, technology has been one of the main driving force behind the flattening of the world. More people around the globe, irregardless of their education, background, and ethnicity have found that technology has allowed them to rise up above their circumstances and compete with the rest of the world on equal footing.

Technology has, and never will be a force which 'discriminates' based on the colour of our skin. Technology rewards ability, initiative and innovativeness - qualities which I do not perceive to be lacking in any way in our bumi brothers.

If a poor, uneducated farmer in Sudan is able to use the Internet to obtain the latest pricing info for his crops, allowing him to sell at the best price and increasing his annual income four-fold, I don't see why the same can't be applied to bumis.

2) “We don't want to see the workforce and technologists favouring only certain races in Malaysia and not reflecting the real composition of the population” - Khairy Jamaluddin

Yes, reflecting the real composition of the population is something which is high on his list of priorities. I guess that is why we see such a clear depiction of our country's demographics in the government ministries, civil service, police force, etc.

Apparently, the composition of our workforce only applies one way, and not the other.

3) “We need to move forward and make it our priority to facilitate the creation of more bumiputras in the ICT sector.” - Khairy Jamaluddin

He has got it all wrong. The priority should not be on the creation of ICT bumis. The focus should be on ensuring that all bumis are properly educated, have degrees which are relevant, are able to communicate effectively in other languages, and last but not least - he should be focusing on instilling a sense of self-belief in the bumis by telling them that they can succeed even without government hand-outs, not the other way round.

Once bumis possess all of the above, they will naturally claim prominence in high tech industries such as biotechnology and ICT without Khairy having to lift a finger.

By focusing solely on creating more bumis in the ICT industry, I can see what the end result will be. We'll end up with a handful of 'ornamental' bumis who were hand-picked and placed by the government in the ICT industry in order to make Umno look good. How this will benefit the impoverished bumis, who are living in rural areas without access to basic amenities such as education, I have no idea.

4) “We do not want handouts but the opportunity to succeed on a much more level playing field,” - Khairy Jamaluddin

Call a spade a spade. A rose by any other name will still smell as sweet. Or in this case, a turd by any other name is still a turd.

Khairy can call it whatever he wants, the NEP, the ICA, whatever. He can wax all the political rhetoric he can think of. In the end, no fancy name or acronym will be able to disguise it from what all these initiatives really are - government hand-outs. The sooner he does a Mahathir and informs the bumis that they are subsisting on hand-outs, the better it will be for not only them, but for the country as a whole.

In the whole history of mankind, I dont think any problem was solved without first acknowledging that there is a problem. As long as leaders like Khairy continue to mislead the bumis into thinking that these hand-outs are a birthright, the bumi majority will never progress.

Khairy says that bumis currently dont have the opportunity to succeed and compete on a level playing field. I guess in Khairy's little bubble-world, all bumis must be born with severe handicaps or something.

I've met quite a few bumis during my career and guess what, they are no different from you or me. They possess a mind which, like everyone else, is unlimited in its ability to dream, imagine, create, conceive and reason. Their desires are our desires, and our desires theirs - the desire to provide a good life for our family, the desire to achieve, the desire to contribute to the economy, the desire to make a difference.

I do not in any way see them as 'sub-par', or as a people who are in desperate need of help from the government. They are able to compete with me on equal footing any day, as long as they stop electing silly leaders such as Khairy who continuously tell them that they can't.

Political mileage at the expense of majority

What Khairy is trying to do is obvious. In political circles, such tactics are known as fear-mongering. A politician who exploits this tactic will always try to imbue a sense of fear in his populace - a fear that the life they know is under attack; the fear that without him, they are all doomed to live a life of poverty; the fear that the other races are out to oppress them.

As other political leaders such as George Bush and Adolf Hitler have shown us, a populace which is gripped in fear is very easily manipulated. However, what we should be concerned about is this, such manipulation hardly ever ends well.

How long more will leaders like Khairy knowingly sacrifice the future of their race, just so that they can remain in power? How long more will we let him? I sincerely hope that Abdullah Badawi and Hishamuddin will do something about it, for we cannot afford to let firebrands such as Khairy continue to dominate our local political scene.

The future of our country depends on it.

Paintballing with MCA

2006-10-03T11:08:00.000+08:00

Violence is good!

The MCA under-35 branch which I belong to organized a paintball event last week. The branch Chairman said that this event is aimed at encouraging more young adults under the age of 35 to get involved in politics via MCA. I suspect though that he and the rest of the committee were using that just as an excuse to send little balls of paint hurtling at each other's faces at over 300 feet per second.

Hey, at least its for a worthy cause :)

I managed to invite around 10 of my friends to come for this event. It wasn't that difficult though. All I had to do was whisper in their ear "Psstt, you can get to shoot Alvin" and they were sold. Of course, for Alvin I had to whisper "You can get to shoot Cheng Jin" instead, but it had the same effect.

Datuks and their speeches

The event was officiated by our Deputy Youth and Sports Minister Datuk Liow Tiong Lai, and no, we were not allowed to shoot him (I am sure the thought did cross a lot of peoples minds..hyuk hyuk). As with all other Datuks, they have a fondness for giving long speeches. Thankfully, Datuk Liow was a very eloquent speaker and only around half of the people went to sleep during his speech.

Alright, I'm merely kidding. His speech was interesting enough and I am sure a lot of the young adults present were motivated to get more involved in voting and politics. He did mention a figure which was an eye opener. According to statistics, only around 27% of Chinese people below the age of 35 vote. That's a pretty dismal figure, especially considering that the Malays have close to 40%.

If this trend continues, soon there will be hardly any young Chinese voters and the whole country will end up under the control of PAS or something, and we definitely don't want that. If they came to power, all women will probably be required to wear burqas and walk 2 feet behind their husbands, and all men must grow moustaches and change their names to Ahmad or Ali or something.

*Shudder*

For honour!!!

We were looking forward to the start of the matches. Any chance to cause pain and humiliation to our friends will be gladly welcomed. That's what you call brotherhood.

I mean c'monnn, how can you NOT want to cause grevious pain and injury to people who look like the above 3? Inviting eh...hahahahah.

In fact, one of us was so excited that he couldn't wait for the games to start to inflict his own brand of pain. Sensing an opportunity during a photo-session, he made his move and struck with such force and fury that it makes George Bush's Shock and Awe tactic seem like a stroll in a daisy covered park, with little lambs bleating in the distance.

Presenting the brave gladiators

For me, it was the first time attemting to do battle with itty-bitty balls. Normally, I do battle with my BIG balls but that's a different story. Me and my friends split into 2 teams of 5, called rather unimaginatively, GTRS and GTPJ. Those are actually the acronyms of our Church, Glad Tidings Petaling Jaya, and our Young Adult Service, Glad Tidings Revival Service. I know, those are funny names for a paintball team, but hey...there were other teams calling themselves 'Supra' (right Don?..heh heh) so I guess we are not the only unimaginative ones.

The place we played at, TT Sports Park in Subang, had some pretty cool gear. We were all provided with a brightly coloured overall, chest padding and a face mask. The overalls were pretty limited in terms of size though, and before long, the only sizes left were the small and extra-extra large ones. For the more oddly shaped amongst us, it was a problem.

Norman had to make do witha pair of overalls which looked more like paddle-pushers, plus he had to run around the playing field with half of the pants-bottom riding up his butt crack. It wasn't a very pleasing sight, especially for his teammates who started the game standing behind him.

Nai Paul on the other hand, underestimated his..ermm..girth..and tried to squeeze himself into an overall which was probably 2 sizes too small. As any guy can tell you, that's not being very kind to your family jewels.

In spite of all the fashion-related glithces, we were soon all suited up and ready to go. Before the games began, we came up with all sorts of fancy strategy and tactics which we will deploy in order to CRUSH OUR OPPONENTS! We had out flankers, shooters, and penetrators (it's not as gay as it sounds alright). It was so beautifully planned.

When the match actually began, it was a different story. Every bit of strategy which was discussed before hand evaporated and everybody began running around like headless chickens, shooting anything and everything that moves. Not very effective, but it was friggin a lot of fun =)

When the dust settles

After about 3 hours, with each team having played 3 separate matches, the points were tallied. Waddaya know, looks like we didn't suck that bad after all. Of course, I'm only speaking on behalf of my team, GTRS. GTPJ on the other hand sucked really bad. I dont need to say much, the picture above speaks for itself...muahahahah.

We ended the day extremely tired out, but in high spirits. Everyone had a great time, although Chen Jin did suffer an injury. It was quite bad actuall, but being the good friends that we were, we just stood around him laughing. Ah well, he'll live to fight another day.

A Wedding Story

2006-09-26T18:59:00.000+08:00

Wedding Weekend

My friend Samuel Hoo got married last weekend and it was truly a touching moment for all. It also reminded me that I'm getting old and soon it'll be my turn...and you know what? I can't wait ... hahahah.

Ahhhh, marriage is indeed a wonderful thing...the union between man and woman (or woman and man for the more feminist people out there), it really is touching, really.

Here's a collection of some photos which were taken during the wedding. Enjoy.

A group of us stayed over at Samuel's house the day before so that we can all leave together on Saturday morning. Of course, as with all other sleep overs, nobody really got any sleep as we were all up till the wee hours of the morning trying to provide sound advice to a friend. I won't say who this person is, but Julius was going through some sort of personal, relationship crisis and needed to tap upon the timeless wisdom of his friends.

In the end, we offered our 'heng tai' support and reassured him that if ever the shit hits the ceiling, he can rely on us to bring him out and make him stone drunk in order to forget his problems.

Solidarity, its a beautiful thing.

Since this will be Samuel's first time at...ermm...copulating, we initially thought that we should provide some guidance to him (based on what we've read in government-sanctioned biology books of course...*ahem*). We were quite clever, really. We came up with a plan which involved the use of teddy bear 'volunteers', special sound effects, and a diagrammatic representation of the erogenous zones of a female body but in the end we decided that it was just too much hassle and couldn't be bothered.

I'm sure Samuel can handle it on his own...hahahahah.

Of course, being a Chinese wedding, we had the usual 'Chong Moon' where the groom has to perform a number of stupid, embarassing tasks in order to get the chance to see his bride. This time around, the bride and her chi muis were quite kind hearted, and Samuel only had to eat a few dead bugs and sing a few songs in a variety of different languages.

A piece of cake really.

The day ceremony was held in Jalan Imbi Chapel, with the night dinner at Legend Hotel. There was no hard liquor being served, but that didn't stop one of us from getting incredibly drunk on wine. I won't name the culprit, but Julius ended the night trying to hump Samuel while hugging him.

Oh well, at least he seemed to have forgotten his crisis.

All in all, it was a great occassion. Seeing a friend take the step of marriage is always a joyous event, and I wish the happy couple all the best!

A Familiar Stranger

2006-09-20T16:15:00.000+08:00

I was talking to a distant relative whom I have not seen for more than a decade.While talking, he asked me how my dad was. A very straight forward question, but it is one which always leaves me struggling for an answer.

Hoping that he wouldn't probe further, I mumbled a vague reply.

My relative then went on and asked me if I was the one who used to study at APIIT. When I asked how did he know, he said that my dad mentioned it to him before a long time ago.

Hearing that made me feel sad.

I know I shouldn't be.

Feeling sad over a person I hardly ever knew?

C'mon snap out of it.

Push My Buttons?

2006-09-17T05:29:00.000+08:00

So clueless

Something funny happened last night while I was at Velvet with a group of friends. The place was packed, which was pretty usual for a Saturday night, and we were just hanging around our table, dancing to the music and trying not to trod on the toes of the people endlessly streaming in and out.

There was a group of girls in front of me, and suddenly one of them turned around to face me and began running her fingers up and down the front of my shirt. To be more exact, she was sort of playing with the buttons on my shirt. What the??! She invited me to dance with her, but by then I was on the verge of bursting out in laughter. I mean c'mon...buttons?? Aijojoh, this girl needs help.

After having clubbed for some time, you'd probably think that you've heard every pick-up line, or seen every 'approach' in the book. However, just when you thought you've seen it all, trust that there will be someone out there who still manages to surprise you with their odd-ball behavior.

Buttons...*guffaw*

Moonshine

2006-09-15T12:08:00.000+08:00

Laundry Bar @ the Curve

I dropped by Laundry Bar last night to catch several live performances by our local bands and also to meet up with a few friends. I reached there at around 10:30pm and the place was freakin packed! Ughh...if I had known that it was going to be so packed I would have thought twice about coming. Listening to live music is no fun when you're squashed between loads of sweaty, head-banging guys. I know some of my more 'gay' readers may find that a turn-on, but I digress.

The music wasn't that great. The sound guy must have been sleeping or something for the mixing levels were pretty bad. Most of the vocals were overpowered by the instruments, leaving the lead singers standing there, silently opening and closing their mouths like some sort of badly dubbed Japanese serial.

In the end, me and my friends decided to find ourselves a table outdoors, away from the crowds and badly mixed sounds. Oh yah, I also heard that Pete Teo was going to be performing next. A good reason as any for us to make our way outside...hahah.

Alright, for the more observant of you, I know that I'm wearing the same shirt that I wore to Maison a few weeks ago. I also know that it is very obvious because the pictures are just a few posts below, but c'monnnn... there is a time gap of 2 weeks between the two! And in that 2 weeks, my shirt has been washed and ironed, and it smells very nice and clean okay.

Sighh...next time I better plan my outfits according to the pictures I have posted in my blog.

So there we were, sitting outdoors, having a few drinks and generally talking crap when my friend Tak Shune decided to indulge in a little bit of flashing and 'accidently' ripped a huge hole in his pants. He claimed it was an accident, and that it was caused by a screw which was protruding from the chair. But me thinks he is a liar!..muahah.

I also bumped into an old friend of mine, Kimberly Chin aka t00thfairie. I've known her ages now and some things never seem to change, meaning we always have a lot of interesting crap to talk about when we're together....hahah. She's also been confiding in me about her recent 'love issues', but being the stubborn girl that she is, she always ignores all of my astoundingly good advice (chocked full of pearls of wisdom, I might add). Shocking, I know :O

Since most of us are working folk, we didn't stay that late. I reached home at around 2:00 am and tried to get some shut-eye, but was kept awake by the incessant barking of my neighbour's dog-from-hell. I tell you, the owner had better do something to keep that animal quiet during the wee hours of the night or else I'll be forced to take drastic action (and compain to my mom).

Hah! That will teach him!

So in the end, I only managed to get in around 4 hours of sleep...ugghhh. Thank goodness it's a Friday. I can't wait to hit the sack again tonight.

You Are That Blogger Right?

2006-09-08T17:44:00.000+08:00

A taste of blogging...ermm...'fame'

Yesterday, while I was having dinner at Amcorp, a fellow came up to me and said "Hey, you are that blogger right?" I was blur for a moment, but after awhile, a joyful realization sank in...

..there are people who actually follow my blog!

Woo hoo! I practically felt like jumping up and doing a little victory jig but thankfully, I managed to control myself. It's pretty amazing though, I've always thought that the only people who read my blog were,

a) my mother (out of love for her only son)
b) my close friends (out of pity)
c) myself (coz I have to check my posts for typos...duh)

What is even more amazing is the fact that the fellow, upon recognizing me, did not accuse me of cluttering up the blogosphere with my nonsensical rants and raves and angrily charge towards me with balled-up fists, and strings of expletives spewing from the mouth. He was quite friendly in fact. What a shocker.

Oh well, now that I know that there are people who actually find the crap I post entertaining, I better buck up and find more interesting topics to blog about. Any suggestions?

Honk If You Find This Funny =)

2006-09-06T09:43:00.000+08:00

Deviating from the norm

I don't usually re-post the stuff I come across on the Internet, but this joke was pretty funny (well, to me at least) so I thought I'd just highlight it here in the hallowed pages of my blog *ahem*. Enjoy!

These two Middle Easterners come to America. They get separated from each other, and about a year later they get together to see who had become more Americanized.

So the first guy says, 'I'm picking up my son from baseball practice, and then we're going out to McDonald's. And then I'm going home to watch some NFL football. How about you?'

And the second guy says, 'F@#% you, towelhead!'"

Dancing at Maison

2006-09-04T19:07:00.000+08:00

Why so many guys wan?

Yesterday, I went down to Maison with my girlfriend and a group of her friends. When I first stepped into the joint, I found it a bit strange that there were so many men standing around dressed in an assortment of tight singlets and tight pants.

Funnier still, a lot of these guys were pretty buff. You know, the usual muscular arms, broad backs, thick neck bla bla bla. The reason that is strange is because, as anyone who frequents the various night spots in Malaysia can attest to, Malaysian men generally aren't that fit. In fact, Malaysian men can usually be easily categorized into 3 categories:

a) Skinny
b) Fat
c) Skinny but with a perut buncit

Yes, there are some guys who are buff but they are so few in number that it would be a waste of time and space to allocate a category just for them.

So yeah, it's strange to see so many buff guys in one place at the same time.

At least, it was strange until my friend whispered in my ear..."It's gays night at Maison"

Ahhhh....now it all makes sense.

So sad hor, that so many guys who are buff, can dress, have nice hair AND can dance without making a fool of themselves are gay. I can just about hear the cries of anguish from the women population in Malaysia.

No wonder our birth rate is dropping. Sad sad.

Janice Yap's MySpace Music

2006-08-29T07:14:00.000+08:00

www.myspace.com/jymys

Here's a plug for Janice's MySpace page (female lead for Broken Bridges). It contains her bio, list of previous performances, audio streaming of her own compositions and much more so do check it out! The page was just recently completed, so add her as your friend if you're on MySpace :)

I Finally Watched Broken Bridges!

2006-08-28T12:24:00.000+08:00

...and it was excellent!

Last Thursday, I brought my mother and sister to KLPac to catch the musical 'Broken Bridges'. I am not what you would normally call a very artsy-fartsy person, but I do enjoy the odd performance now and then.

Leaving my office at around 7:30, what would normally be a 15 minute trip took more than an hour thanks to the stupid rain, which caused the long-kangs in KL to overflow like a clogged up toilet bowl. This caused several areas in KL to flood, resulting in one or two kancils floating away (probably).

Thankfully, the show was delayed slightly due to the jam. The policy for such performances is that if you are late, you'll have to wait til the intermission before being allowed in. So strict hor, but I guess they have a good reason for it. I mean, who wants to be interrupted during a particularly rousing performance by a fat, sweaty guy squeezing himself down the aisles?

So after sitting in a jam for over an hour, rushing like mad up the steps of KLPac and hurriedly placing my butt in my allocated seat, I was all ready for a night of musical fun.

I really did like the show, and not just because my girlfriend is acting in it (hahah...I ain't THAT biased). To me, the songs, set, script were pretty good for a local production and they managed to very accurately capture the look and feel of Ipoh in the 60's.

From what my girlfriend told me, the original script was shortened considerably due to time constraints, so quite a number of important scenes involving the development of several of the plays key characters were ommitted. While this is the shame, the show still had enough humorous and tragic bits to keep you riveted to your seats.

My personal favorite characters from the show have got to be Mei Ling (of coz lah, my gf mah), Leong, Ringo and Mr.Wong. They really stood out from the rest with their acting and singing, so props to them.

I ain't a professional critic of plays so I don't have much to write here. I just want to say that if you haven't already watched it, do yourself a favour a get your grubby hands on some tickets pronto! :)

Dont try to be a Hero

2006-08-25T17:30:00.000+08:00

The difference between Schumacher and me is....

Yesterday, I got into the stupidest accident of my life...EVER!. It's not even the kind you can brag about. You know those type of accidents lah...they usually sound something like this:

Brag-able accident scenario 1: "I was travelling at 250kmh when my car suddenly aqua-planned and made ten full 360 degree spins before coming to a halt, inches away from a 2,000 foot drop into vast nothing-ness"

Brag-able accident scenario 2: "I was performing a full-on, maximum opposite lock, tyre screeching drift down a winding mountain road when a cute little rabbit ran into my path, and being the kind soul that I am, I decided to drive into the divider just so that the lil' rabbit can continue living and indulging in loads of bunny-rabbit lovin with his harem of bunnies"

Brag-able accident scenario 3: "I was approaching the first corner of Sepang at around 300kmh when an overzealous back-marker caused me to stray off the racing line and into the sand trap"

Alright, that last scenario may be something only an F1 driver can lay claim to, but you get my drift. These kind of accidents are nothing to be shameful about. They are the type you'd willingly tell at any gathering of friends in order to impress the girls. Of course, the exact details may change depending on how many pints of beers you've downed, but the underlying, fundamental nature of the accident is something which you like to print out and frame it on your wall, next to a pic of your first-born.

Me on the other hand

My accident was slightly different. It involved me, my car, and a wall. You see, I have this strange fetish which I feel I have to admit to you dear readers. I like making my tyres squeal when I'm in a car park.

You know how your car's tyres go 'EeeEeEEeEee, eeEEEeEEee...EEeEEeeEEe' whenever you make a turn in a car park with cement floors? Well, to some that may be pure noise, but to me it's the equivalent of Strauss' Blue Danube. I love it!

Oh yeahh you dirty tyres, squeal for me...you like that don't you? Squeeeeeal for daddy, uh uh uhhhhh

*ahem* Okay, sorry. I got carried away.

Anywayyyyyy, my point is, I like squealing tyres. This, coupled with the fact that two days ago, as I was driving up the car park ramp in my office building, the floor was wet and slippery as it had just rained shitloads of cats and dogs a few minutes ago.

Are you beginning to see where I'm going?

It was at one particular car park ramp, where I had this brilliant idea of flooring the accelerator a bit and indulging in some squealing fun. Well, this 'brilliant' idea, plus the fact that the floor was slippery as hell, caused me to understeer like a nose-heavy tractor with jello for tyres. To those who are not motorheads, understeer basically happens when your front tyre loses grip, and your steering input has no influence on the direction your car is moving.

Now the difference between Schumacher and me is this. If it were Schumacher, he'd probably apply a little left-foot braking, causing the weight to transfer to the front of the car, and thus increasing the grip of the front tyres and smoothly sailing up the ramp.

Me on the other hand, just sat there like an idiot as my car missed the ramp entirely and plowed head-first into the neighbouring concrete wall. Mind you, I was travelling at a mind-boggling speed of about 10kmh. Not enough to cause serious damage to my car, but enough to crack my bumper, smash my headlamps, and leave a trail of nice, squiggly lines along the wall (For those of you who park in Plaza Mont Kiara, look out for my 'mark' at level 2 of Block C).

At least I didn't.....errmmm... hurt myself...or something

So there you have it. Stupid idea + wet floor + no Schumacher = Saturday with no car + wallet lighter by around 700 bucks + shattered ego.

Excellent :P

I Need To Resurrect My Blog

2006-08-21T15:33:00.000+08:00

Lost Eden

It is with dismay that I survey the barren remains of what was a once proud and regularly-updated blog. It's a blogging wasteland as far as the eye can see. An undulating terrain of rushed posts, unoriginal quips and me-too photoshop'ed pictures stretch out for miles before me. What was once a cheesy, crappy, but uniquely 'me' landscape has now been turned into yet another random jumble of bits and bytes floating meaninglessly through the blogosphere - like how a piece of turd floats serenely through the foul smelling sewage of a Flora Alam sewerage pond.

Trudging through this desolate place, I stumble across a vast river whose waters were as still as night. The moonlight reflects of its surface in silverish hues of light, illuminating its banks with multiple hues of nothing.

From the depths of of its shimmering waters, the spirit of the countless bloggers whom I've mocked over the years emerge. Bloggers whom I've mocked for their gaudy tastes, lack of literary flair and senseless ramblings roll up slowly like a mist from the sea.

I can hear their tortured voices, haunting me...taunting me...

With their long, thin, crooked fingers they beckon in slow, curl-like motions...

...inviting me to the other side. A side where bimbo blogs and blogs about food consumed are the norm. A hellish place indeed.

I tried to flee, but my legs remained glued to the spot. My mouth opened, but there was no scream. Like a moth drawn to the fire, I felt my body inching ever closer over the edge of the river.

As my body careened over the banks of the river, sending me tumbling headlong into the inky darkness...I awoke with a start.

It was just a dream.

But it seemed so real. Glancing at my laptop, I saw the numbers 2 and 1 flash up on screen. It's the 21st of August, 6 days since I last updated my blog.

How long will this void last?

I have no idea

No idea, and ideas at all...

Sighhh

The Lord of the Perverts

2006-08-14T12:14:00.000+08:00

28 years ago, a pervert was born

Last Friday night, I celebrated the birthday of one of my old friends, Mr. Shedden Ee. To some, he is known as the owner of Racecraft and Motorsport division, but to his close friends...we know him as a slut who likes to nothing more than to voice out-loud the minute details of his sexual preferences to any poor unsuspecting souls who happen to be standing within ear-shot.

Conversations with Shedden usually go something like this..

Me: Hey man, wassup
Shedden: I just had sex lah a few minutes ago
Me: Ermm...alright, so where do you want to go for lunch?
Shedden: The girl didn't blow me, so I feel darn potong stim
Me: You sick perv!
Shedden: What? Where got??!

You get the idea.

Anyway, for his birthday, a group of us headed down to RedBox, The Curve for a night of ear-drum busting, high-decibel fun.

Young sms'ed me the day before saying that everyone will be meeting up at around 8:30 at the Curve. As we all know so well, we Malaysians have a different understanding of the arcane concept of time. To us equator-dwelling folk, when somebody says "meet at 8:30", he actually means..."meet you when I've finally decided to wake up, throw on some dirty old clothes, spend a few minutes flicking through Astro, pick my nose, prepare myself a little snack, scratch my arse....and the list goes on and on"

Basically, you take the time which was 'agreed upon', add 2 hours to it, and you'll be pretty much on time. So it comes as no surprise that when I arrived there at 11:30, people were just beginning to show up. And btw, I came late because I had to pick up my gf from KLPAC alright, not because I'm a tardy git.

We finally began singing at around 12:30, and lasted till around 3:30 am before deciding to call it a night. We're all getting old lah, staying up till 3 in the morning is a herculean feat!

Anyway back to the birthday boy. In case you're wondering what he looks like (so you can tell your daughters to avoid him...hahah, just kidding dude!), here's a pic of him together with Lim Cheng Jin aka Harry. Don't they make a luvly couple?...aaawwwwwww.

The room we occupied was the VIP room, and therefore came equipped with a PS2 for the anti-social people amongst us. Needless to say, some of the guys were flocking to it like bees to honey. I did try my hand at a few laps of Gran Turismo, but I found myself thinking "what in the world am I doing, paying a few hundred bucks just to play Gran Turismo?". Heck no!

Some of us didn't feel the same way though, and had to be dragged kicking and crying from the PS2 in order to pose for a few pics, and sing a few songs. In fact, they probably short-circuited one of the PS2 controllers with their tears of anguish as it was cruelly wrenched from their balmy hands.

Hahah...serves them right.

In spite of Gran Turismo, the night ended well and everyone had a good time bonding. I'm too tired now (it is a Monday morning after all) so I won't post much. Here are some pics for you to enjoy. Laterz!

Freedom Should Not be Abused

2006-08-03T13:28:00.000+08:00

I agree with Badawi, but....

I am not surprised that it has come to this. If you've read the papers yesterday, Badawi warned all bloggers that those who are found disseminating disruptive lies and untruths will be detained. He went on to say that the full-weight of the law will be felt by those who instigate social unrest and religious tensions by spreading lies ad rumous over the Internet.

Now I agree with what Badawi is saying. Some people might call this an infringement on our freedom and rights, but let us step back for a second and try to determine what true 'freedom' really means.

To me, the word 'freedom' does not conjure up images of a society in which there are no rules and regulations. In fact, in such an environment, anarchy will reign and true freedom will ultimately suffer. Some shallow people in fact equate freedom with the ability to, say, run down the streets naked, have sex with any person (or animal...ughhh) they want to, or to do whatever he or she pleases, irregardless of the consequences. These views are so obviously wrong that I sometimes wonder what's wrong with those people. How can they not see that true freedom flourishes when people have the ability to function within clearly socially and culturally defined 'rules'?

Just compare Malaysia, a land with (what some would say) many rules and regulations, with Iraq, a land where (at the moment) basically anything goes. In which country are the people more 'free'?

The same goes for freedom of speech. Some people equate freedom of speech with the ability say whatever they want, nevermind the fact that it may consist only of lies and untruths. Now these lies and untruths, while they may seem relatively harmless, can easily snowball into something which has the potential to undo all the progress which has been made over the past decades. Now who wants that eh?

..but I doubt that this new ruling will be implemented fairly

Yup, you heard me. I agree with Badawi that people should be held accountable for the things they post on the Internet. However, I do have my reservations on how effective this approach will be.

You see, I don't entirely trust that our government and it's related bodies (the police, the ISA etc) will be unbiased in their assessment of what sort of comments and posts are punishable, and what are not.

Will they crackdown as hard on the bloggers who spread lies about the Chinese and Indians in Malaysia? Or are they mainly focusing on stamping out the allegedly anti-Bumi, or anti-Islam posts which are swirling about in the blogosphere?

What if someone were to post blasphemous lies about the other religions such as Christianity, Buddhism and Hinduism? Will the government even bother to crack down on the people responsible? Or does their 'tough stance' only apply to posts which criticize Islam?

Although I hope that the government will be fair and unbiased in this, past experience has taught me a lot.

I won't be holding my breath.

My Mini Holiday

2006-08-02T12:37:00.000+08:00

Don't Laugh

Yes, you heard me...stop snickering. What's wrong with going to Genting for a holiday? Only cool people go there. The really cool ones. Just ask Uncle Lim Goh Tong.

My trip can't really be considered a 'holiday' though. It was just a one day's trip, going there in the afternoon and staying on til dinner time. Some of my friends booked a room at Awana to stay for the night but I decided not to. I can't afford to take leave you see. The thought of work piling up in my absence is enough to send any holiday-goer into a nervous, nail-biting frenzy.

To be honest, the thought of going to Genting doesn't exactly thrill me. I was only going up for the drive actually. After a rough week at work, the best way to unwind (IMO) is to tackle a few twisties with all the gung-hoism of McRae on steroids.

Alas, my dream of powering my immensely powderful plotong up the steep roads of Genting and executing glorious 4-wheel drifts with tons of opposite lock vanished the moment I hit the foot of the mountain. It was raining pretty heavily you see, and Malaysian drivers have this weird habit of slowing down to a 2kmh crawl whenever there is even the slightest hint of a drizzle.

So what was supposed to be a fun drive up turned into a 'Federal highway at rush hour' crawl a llthe way up. Bloody frustrating. After trying to pull of a few heroic overtaking manoeuvres (and almost getting killed in the process), I docilely pulled back into line between a crawling Toyota Unser and a black-smoke belching express bus.

Oh joy.

Why do people go to Genting??

After goodness knows how long, we finally arrived at the Theme Park Hotel only to be greeted by the sight of yet another friggin long traffic jam. Cars of all shapes and sizes are battling it out as they recklessly lunged around in their search for a parking spot.

Sweet :P

It took me 40 minutes to get from Subang to Genting, and another 40 minutes to find a parking spot. Bloody annoying. Plus, I was getting a headache.

Oh, did I also mention that the abovementioned drizzle had not escalated into a full-blown tropical downpour? All the outdoor areas were deserted (duh) and everyone crammed into the indoor themepark of the First World Hotel.

I've only been to the First World Hotel a handful of times since it first opened. And upon visiting it again last weekend, I was reminded of the reason why. The whole place was just too gaudy for my taste. Too plastic and artificial. Not to mention that the hotel sports what has got to be the worst paint-job of ANY building in the history of mankind. Whoever made the decision to clothe the building in such garish colours deserves to be packed into a box and shipped off to some remote island where the natives eat human genitals for dessert.

It's just so darn fugly! Most Malaysians will know what I'm talking about so I won't bother posting any photos of it here.

What I will post however are pics I took during my time there. I didn't manage to take that many pics coz my camera's battery died on my after a few shots. But I did manage to take pictures of, what I believe are, the world's most retarded looking bears. Are they supposed to attract kiddies? or send them running back into mommys arms while bawling in fear?

Beats me.

I wish to apologize to the those of you who are easily frightened by fugly bears. It wasn't my intention, really. To make up for it, here are some pictures of Me.. muahahah.

Broken Bridges

2006-07-28T09:50:00.000+08:00

Spot anyone familiar?

My friends and regular readers will recognise my girlfriend's face there, but for those of you who don't know who she is, I'll give you a hint. She's the one holding the fan.

Yup, that's my beloved...

I have a fetish for aunties...

Just in case some of you take me seriously and think that I'm some sick perv, I better just make it clear that I was merely kidding. My gf is the one hugging the chubby guy with the tie.

So click on the picture for more details on the show. It's gonna start showing in the middle of August so do show your support :)

My Second Life

2006-07-27T14:30:00.000+08:00

Who needs a life when you've got this?

After reading so much about Second Life in the papers and magazines, I decided to give it a go.... again.

I say again because this is not my first time signing up for it. The first time I did was more than a year ago, when I didn't have my own laptop and instead had to rely on my company's crappy Fujitsu. Needless to say, it isn't very fun exploring a virtual world when your PC only has a measly 256MB or ram and no standalone graphics card. When I first logged in, it seemed like all the citizens of Second Life suffered from parkinsons or something. It was bloody jerky. No fun at all.

After a grand total of 10 minutes, I gave up. It was pure frustration I tell you. Trying to get my jerking, shuddering avatar to move about was like trying to wrestle a drunken sumo wrestler. Not to say the connection speed I had was bad though (I was using my office's connection, coz my home still relied on *cough* dial-up). The PC I was using just couldn't cope with anything more advanced than Pac-Man-like graphics.

A year on...

Anyway, that was then. A year on, I have a laptop which isn't crap, and I finally have broadband at home. Time to give it another go.

For the benefit of those of you who still rely on the abacus to do your sums, let me give a brief introduction on what the 'game' is all about. Second Life is more than a game actually. It is basically a virtual world, in which you can join, create a 3D avatar and begin roaming about.

You're given absolute freedom to do anything you want, become anything you want, and make friends with anyone you want. The game allows you to start virtual businesses, buy land, develop property, fly around the country side, create objects to populate the world and much more.

In fact, there are already a handful of people around the world who started businesses in Second Life and are now pulling in more than USD80,000 a year. There is this one guy who buys land in Second Life (yup, you are allowed to live out your Donald Trump fantasies. Minus the bad hair-piece of course), develops pretty looking houses and buildings on it, and sells them to other people in Second Life.

There is even the case of this female designer who sells her own range of 'Second Life Clothing' in the virtual world. Supposedly her stuff is selling like hot cakes, and she's raking in several thousand USD per month just by selling virtual clothing.

In fact, there are even virtual red light districts in the game. Woooh

Cool eh....and maybe a bit geeky. But anyway, it was enough to pique my interest.

Hmm...who shall I be?

As you can see from the screenshot below, my avatar's name is Bunchudai Hokkigai. Whatever that means, I have no idea. I just wanted something Asian sounding, hence my weird japanese-phillipino hybrid name.

Apparently, my online avatar has a terrible dress-sense...and he has such an oblong hairstyle. Ugghhh, the online me is nothing like the real-life me (I hope). Anyway, I didn't have much time to play around with it yet, but I think one of the first few things I definitely have to do is get my avatar some cool threads. And maybe a cool set of wheels...hahahha.

So if any of you are already in Second Life, look me up yeah.

My avatar is feeling kinda lonely....*sniff sniff*

A Weirdo By Any Other Name....

2006-07-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

Crazy-arsed nipple freak

Argghhh....I can just about picture a fat, balding, middle-aged guy reading my blog while twiddling with his hopelessly flaccid nipples. Who searches for these kinds of stuff?? Yeesh.

Anyway, just so that all the flaccid-nippled people don't get disappointed when they stumble upon my blog in their search for nipple-viagra, I'm going to post, what I believe are, effective ways to make your nipple....*ahem*...protrude.

See? I'm so friggin kind to my readers its unbelievable.

Bernard's nipple protrusion techniques:

Before we start, just let me clarify that I've never tried any of these techniques before, nor do I have even the slightest interest in doing so. They are merely hypothetical techniques lah. They may work, they may not. Why not you try them and then tell me, smarty-pants :P

Take said flaccid nipples and gyrate them against 2 ice-cubes in a circular, counter-clockwise motion, while track 5 of the BeeGees greatest hits plays in the background
Get a kind friend to grab your nipples in a vice-like grip while forcing you to whistle Negaraku in the key of C#
Go to a plastic surgeon and ask him/her to implat itty-bits of silicone in yer nips
Make a vow to hang horizontally face-down for the next decade. Hopefully gravity will do its thang on your man titties
Use styling gel while wet, and slowly shape and sculpt it into desired shape

Hmm...that's about it actually. If you guys can think of somemore, please do a favor to all the poor people suffering from nipple erectile dysfunction and post them here.

Thank you.

Movie Clip - Chinese Harassed at UPM

2006-07-24T12:12:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with having a cultural night?

As many of you may well know, it was reported in the local Chinese Newspapers that the Chinese Student Association in UPM had their request to organize a cultural night rejected by the universities administrators. Although cultural nights by all races have been eagerly anticipated events for many years now, the administrative staff of UPM decided to take a different stand and bar the chinese. No good reasons were given.

I am not sure if this is related (some say yes, some say no, but I'll stay neutral), but here is a clip of some students who set up a student affairs booth in faculty 12 of UPM, where they were set upon and harassed by over 50 other students, which you will see in this video clip. In the ensuing commotion, a female reporters camera was confiscated, and several female Chinese students were pushed to the ground (according to the write-up attached to the video)

These events were not reported in our major newspapers.

Once again, our media has shown itself to be nothing more than puppets on a string. Unable to adequately highlight the gross injustices which are taking place on a daily basis. (Lemme see, what do have on our front page news? Amber Chia goes sky-diving, and Siti Nurhaliza and Datuk K. Wow, now THOSE are important national issues)

Let me make things clear though, I am NOT saying that this is a racial issue. I am not anti-Malay, or anti-Chinese, or anti-Indian or whatever. Even if the tables were turned, I would still be pissed because a large group of people ganging up on a few individuals is something no civilized nation should tolerate. Bullying and intimidation is something our government should put a stop to.

It's sad, really sad.

Wedding Bells are Ringing

2006-07-24T09:06:00.000+08:00

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white..

Ahh, weddings. Don't you just love them? In fact, I think the only people who don't enjoy weddings are people who are above 40 and still single. The poor souls.

Anyway on Saturday, my friend Danny and Bridget oficially tied the knot. It's always so touching watching the union of 2 souls eh. At times like this, the chorus of the Spicegirls '2 Become 1' keeps playing in the back of my mind.

Scary, I know.

Alright, you may be wondering why there are so many photos of a baby and hardly any of the wedding. Well, I can't help it if baby Caitlin looks so much better in photos than 90% of my friends alright...hahahah. Okayyy, I'm kidding. My friends are gorgeous specimens...

...in their own right...

...I suppose...

...ermm, yeah.

Ok lah, just to prove that I DO have friends who are not wearing diapers, here are a few photos of us posing at the end of the night.

UPM Teaching Guide - Double Standards are Alive and Kicking in Malaysia

2006-07-19T22:53:00.000+08:00

'It is a teaching guide, not an authorised textbook'

The above statement is enough to send any fair-minded, peace-loving Malaysian into an outraged frenzy.

What am I referring to? Well, if you've read the newspapers lately, you would have come across several reports about how an Ethnic Relations module in Universiti Putra Malaysia makes several totally unfounded, biased and racially discriminating statements about the Chinese and Indians in Malaysia. In this so-called 'teaching guide', which will be used as a teaching reference for hundreds of students in UPM I might add, one of the audacious claims they make is that the May 13 riots were instigated by the Chinese backed party, DAP.

Wait a second here, I thought that the May 13 riots were caused by millions of disgruntled people-of-a-certain-race-which-I-shall-not-mention (POACRWISNM) who were so incredibly sidelined and poverty-stricken (due to their own incompetence one might add) that they felt that violence was their only course of action? In fact, I recall stories told of how convoys of military trucks ferrying hundreds of barbaric POACRWISNM would swoop into the city and begin viciously attacking innocent bystanders - men, women and child alike.

Stories were told of how families would be forced to leave their homes in the dark of night because of these gross acts of violence. Of how innocent people were forced out of a cinema by these POACRWISNM and hacked to death in broad daylight. And all because of what? The colour of their skin.

Let me repeat myself, 'a vicious, premeditated attack by the hapless and hopeless POACRWISNM in our country on other innocent people!' And the author of this so-called 'teaching guide' has the gall to blame it on the DAP?

How in the world DAP fits into this picture, I have no idea. They weren't the ones weilding the machetes which were used to shed so much blood on that fateful day in our country's history. Also, the DAP was not the political party which benefited so handsomely from the violence and upheaval.

In the face of mounting protests by all fair-minded Malaysians, the author of this 'teaching guide' tried to justify their lunacy by saying that these statements are not their own, and were merely borrowed from publications made by several other historians. Excuse me, that in itself is a very weak and lame excuse! Since when did a few zealots opinions form the backbone of our country's history? One man's opinion, does not history make.

But..but..but...it's just a guide

What infuriates and saddens me even more than these blatant lies is that our Higher Education Ministry will not even lift a finger to make things right. According to them, and a certain minister by the name of Datuk Mustapa watshisname,

"We will not recall this guide. Its claims are not considered seditious because it is not a 'book' in the real sense as it did not go through the editing process that a textbook would undergo"

So let me see if I get things right, as long as such inflamatory statements come in a publication which does not have the word 'BUKU' printed on its cover, then it's alright? Correct me if I am wrong, but it makes absolutely no sense! Racially biased lies are exactly that, lies, irregardless of whatever medium they may come from.

What if it were the other way round?

If my memory serves me well, I recall a big hoo-hah being raised over an advertisement which was aired on our local television network. In the ad, a Malay men played the part of an inconsiderate LRT passenger. Although it was just an ad meant to convey the importance of civility, many people thought otherwise. To them, it was an attack on the Malay race! It was racialy oppressive! It was a form of subversive victimisation! Bla bla bla ad infinitum.

All that fuss over a seemingly innocuous TV ad.

I really wonder what would the Higher Education Ministry do if a 'teaching guide', claiming that the Malays are the reason for our country's economic malaise, were to be published. Would they still say that due to the fact that it's merely a 'guide' and not a 'book', they see no harm in it being circulated and in the hands of thousands of young students?

You tell me.

The Malaysia we know and love

With the people in power refusing to acknowledge the gross misrepresentation present in this teaching guide, I can't help but wonder what is happening to our country. Whatever happened to the Malaysian ideals? The dream of living harmoniously together with people of all races? Of peace, respect and tolerance?

Are all the good things which Malaysia stands for slowly disappearing due to the actions of a group of misguided individuals?

Honestly, I don't have the answer to that. You tell me.

*the Education Guide has since been withdrawn, as reported in The Star, July 20th. Looks like there is hope after all

Now That the World Cup is Over..

2006-07-11T08:56:00.000+08:00

...I can finally ...

erase from my mind, the disturbing images of Gattusso running around the pitch in his briefs
get my hands on the Adidas Teamgeist football (hopefully they will discount the price after the world cup)
forgive Brazil for their utterly hopeless world cup performance
get rid of my 'France Team' voodoo dolls (which worked superbly I might add...ho ho ho)
stop laughing everytime I hear the word 'England' and 'World Cup Winners' mentioned in the same sentence
sign up for Zidane's school of head-butting martial arts
look forward to seeing Malaysia in World Cup South Africa 2008 (yeah rite!)

Hmmm...anything else I missed?

1+1=3

2006-07-05T18:16:00.000+08:00

The power of mental arithmetic

I walked into my office's washroom and heard this guy speaking loudly on his handphone,

"40%??!!!! That's not even one-third!!!!!"

...pause...

...then in a quiet, sheepish voice...

"Oh yah, it's more than one-third. Sorry"

I laughed, then proceeded to take a dump.

Look Ma, It's Me!

2006-07-05T08:54:00.000+08:00

Hodgepodge I Am in the papers

My colleague brought this to my attention yesterday. Pretty strange, how some people find the crap I post in my blog fit for publication in a national newspaper. Oh well, I guess they have to fill their pages with something...hahahah, and I'm not complaining lah. Hopefully this will result in my blog receiving oodles of hits, and I'll be catapulted to instant stardom, woo hoo! I will have many many fans, and we'll all go off and form our own country and live happily ever after.

Ahhhhh...the stuff that dreams are made of.

Bullying Bitches

2006-06-30T13:47:00.000+08:00

Amazing how absolutely pathetic some people can be

I'm sure you guys would have read in the newspaper recently about the recent spate of bullying cases in Malaysia. Well, here's the infamous video clip of a group of school girls (I assume that they are girls, but judging from their mannerism, primates would seem to be a more fitting description) beating up on another.

Sighh...the sad stench of 'gansterism'. It's so easy to act big and tough when you're in a group and you outnumber your adversaries eh. I wonder what will happen if the tables were turned. I've known so many of these supposedly 'tough hats' who are reduced to a whimpering pile of crap when they are isolated from their so called gang. Although I think that the girl in the video should have done more to stand up for herself, I don't hold that against her in any way. After all, it's easier said than done right?

I seriously hope the parents of those screaming, slapping bitches will take a long hard look at this video clip and see first-hand, the monstrosities which they have raised. Then again, judging from the behavior of these kids, I can safely say that their parents must be no better (ie, low class, uncivilized people).

The scary thing is, such cases of bullying are not new. Therefore, I guess we all should be thankful for technology and the Internet. For without them, such cases will continue to go on and on without any attention being drawn to it.

However, now that we DO know just how rampant such things are, it is up to our government and the Ministry of Education to do something about it. Oh joy....... :P

New Sicknesses Discovered by Malaysian Scientists

2006-06-26T10:08:00.000+08:00

Bird flu eat yer heart out

The Malaysian Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.

ASSMA
Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil servants.

DIALARRHOEA
Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as "I'm now on the monorail" or "I'm walking towards the car." Victims can be recognized by large,
twitching thumb.

MEESLES
Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.

MULTIPLE SPOUSOSIS
Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam, Thailand,Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.

YELLOW FEVER
Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.

EKOR-TOTONUS
Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers and lotteries.

HEAVYTITIS
Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains........ Heavytitis A; Heavytitis B; Heavytitis C, andsometimes Heavytitis DD.

CYBERTENSION
Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.

DYEBETES
A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.

CHICKEN TOX
Victims exhibit a great need to talk ****. Highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.

Close Encounters of the Moronic Kind

2006-06-22T09:10:00.000+08:00

Stupid Lady in a Kelisa

I had the 'privilege' this morning of crossing paths with an uptight, kiasu lady in a maroon kelisa. It happened at one of those roads where 2 lanes combines into 1. People, being civilized, usually take turns cutting into that 1 lane. First, the car on the left will go, then the car on the right, then the left and so on. Makes sense right? Everybody has their turn nice and proper, that way the traffic remains smooth and doesn't get clogged up like some sanitary pad filled toilet bowl.

So there I was, on my way to work, with the CD by Israel Houston blasting through my speakers, patiently awaiting my turn. Suddenly, I noticed that there was this little red object beside me, inching annoyingly forward. Turning to my right, I caught sight of a pale-faced lady, very thin, hook nose, looks like a witch, the works. This pale-faced, thin, hook-nosed, witch-like lady (phew...that's a mouthful. I think I'll just shorten it to PAFTHOW) ignored me and continued to inch her car forward in violent lurches, adamantly making sure that I did not get to take MY RIGHTFUL TURN!

The Duel

Everytime the car in front moved forward and I put on my signal light indicating that I want to merge into the lane, PAFTHOW would come roaring from behind, screeching to a stop a few milimeters from the bumper of the car in front. What the??!!

Annoyed, I tried to squeeze my way through, using a combination of poor clutch-play and mashing of the accelerator in an atempt to make my car lurch back and forth.

Lurching cars are scary alright.

Our side mirrors came within touching distance. Her car was literally inches from mine. I could see every single pock-mark on her scarred, weather beaten face. My lips curled up into a tense smile. I griped my steering wheel tightly, my knuckles turning white in the process.

A bead of sweat formed across my brow and trickled down.

My heart raced...up ahead, I could see the traffic beginning to move forward again.

Now was my chance!

Using my devastating skill, I expertly balanced my car at 3500rpm. My whole vehicle was pumped and primed, ready to POUNCE! Like a Tiger!!

NO way was PAFTHOW gonna get ahead of me. Never!

The car in front of us moved. Both of our cars raced forward, trying to close up the newly opened gap. Side mirror to side mirror, door to door, wheel to wheel. It was heart pumping stuff!

She is Good!

In spite of my heroics, it didn't work. PAFTHOW must have nerves of steel. Either that or she has loads of experience cutting people off on busy, packed roads. She expertly positioned her car slightly on the outer side of the road, before swooping in once she had a few inches of space to spare.

In this game of chicken, I backed down. No way I was gonna risk getting my car dented just to prove a point to PAFTHOW.

Crest-fallen, I backed away. Letting her go ahead of me. My ego was in ruins, my heart laid in tatters before me. Oh the humiliation!! The agony of defeat!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

You'll have to excuse me for now. I need to find a place where I can cower in a corner and lick my wounds.

I wan't to write a powderful post...

2006-06-21T09:38:00.000+08:00

..but I don't have the time!

Argghhh...looking back at my past few posts, I realised that they are all nothing more than a bunch of photoshop'ed pictures accompanied by a few miserable sentences. Where is the literary flair in that?? I can't believe I have let myself become like this. I have degenerated into....just...another ... PHOTO-BLOGGER...urkkk!!!

Of course, now that I have identified the problem, there are 2 things I can do about it. First, I can begin attacking my keyboard with a vengeance, churning out a soddingly long post full of konon-nya witty remarks, insightful comments and other generally entertaining crap. On the other hand, I could just post another shit-load of photos, attach a few miserable sentences to it, pass it off as a blog post and continue whining and bitching about how I don't have enough time to blog anymore.

You know what? That second option sounds much easier.

To all my readers, don't worry lah. I have not given up writing entirely. I just need inspiration. Works of arts can't be rushed you know.

Btw, Proton just launched the new Satria Neo. Ooooohhh!! As you all may know, I am hopelessly in 'love' with Protons and their rattly, brittle components. I think I'll write something about it in my next post, after I've popped by a nearby Proton dealer to check it out of course.

So stay tuned! As for now, here are somemore photos...muahahah.

My new workplace

Some of my readers have been asking me to upload pics of my new office. In order to silence their rabid please, I've decided to do just that. Enjoy, all you demanding folks.

Sambungan Otak

2006-06-14T16:37:00.000+08:00

New surroundings, new colleagues, new challenges, new everything

Today is the 3rd day at my new job. There is so much information to absorb that my brain feels like its going to combust and ooze out my nostrils in a slimy trail. It's been hectic, for sure, but heaps of fun as well. Hopefully I'll be somewhat settled down by next week, then the actual work can begin.

Working in Mont Kiara so far has sure been fun. The place is practically jam free after work. Driving out of Mont Kiara and Hartamas is a breeze. But then I'll hit PJ where the streets are more packed than Brad Pitt's abs on Troy. @#$@!! Seems like you can 't get anywhere around PJ without getting stuck in a jam. Oh well, a few minutes of motoring freedom is better than nothing. At least my commute home has been cut down to aroundd 30-40 minutes, from the usual 1 hour plus it took me to get back from KL.

My new job also doesn't leave me much time to blog. At least for now. Hopefully when I'm more settled, I'll be able to resume my pointless-but-ultimately-satisfying-for-the-soul blogging activities.

Time's Up Concert

2006-06-11T16:49:00.000+08:00

The Time is Now, It's Now or Never

This post took a long time coming (the concert was last week), but I only recently managed to get my hands on the pics. It was well worth the wait though, I thought the pics turned out pretty well. Props to the photographer, Adrian Ong.

The turnout was good, the music was tight, the atmosphere was excellent and everyone had a blast of a time singing and praising! I won't say much, I'll just let the pics speak for themselves.

(above: This was the morning session. All in all, we played 2 sessions. One in the morning, one at night)

(above: Jon Koo, and a keh-leh-fair in the background)

(above: From left, Daniel, Adam, Grace and Cason)

(above: Eric Thoo, our electric guitarist. Some of you may recognize him from the 'Nipple Cripple' photo...hahahah)

(above: Twinkle twinkle little starrrRRRRrrRrrrr....)

(above: And now for the night concert....)

(above: The turnout was simply gobsmacking. I don't know the exact number, but the whole hall was crammed with human bodies, all jostling for space. I think there were like 2,000? 3,000 people?)

(above: The opening dance for the night, choreographed by Janice)

(above: Ka-chow!)

(above: From left, Shahnon, Amanda and Jon Lim)

(above: Our songstress extraordinaire, Juwita Suwito)

(above: Mr Cleo Bachelor, Liang)

(above: I have no idea what I'm playing)

(above: From right, Jon, Angeline, Person-Hidden-By-Angeline's-Mic, Norman & Eluth)

My Last Day at Horwath

2006-06-10T02:48:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time

2 years 2 months. That's the amount of time I spent at Horwath. Though it may sound long, in reality everything passed by in a rush. Time sure flies, especially the older you get. It's an ironic paradox that the more time you wish you had, the less of it you have. But then again, life sometimes appears to be one big paradox at times doesn't it.

My time at Horwath will always be fondly remembered. The work was interesting, my colleagues were swell, the environment was great. However, after spending more than 2 years there, I knew it was time to turn the page to a new chapter of my life. I wonder what new challenges this next phase of my life will hold.

Only time will tell. Here are some pics taken from my last day at Horwath. This post isn't very interesting (I guess), but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same.

I vividly remember my first day at Horwath. The date was April 1st. Yup, April Fool's day. I arrived, was introduced to the rest of my department colleagues, and promptly began work. How unfamiliar and strange everything felt at that time. Such a stark contrast with the way I feel now. After more than 2 years spent plying the hallways of Horwath, I have grown fond of its sights and sounds. I know I will definitely miss the place.

Here are some pics of my work place. Yea, it looks all nice and neat now, but that's only because I already packed up most of my stuff. If you could see it 5 minutes before this pic was taken, it would have been a whole different story...hahaha.

I usually can't stand an untidy work place. But iIn my line of work, we deal with literally tons of documents. However when dead lines are looming, annoying clients are on the line with an irate email from the SC officer vying for your attention, trust me, the last thing on your mind would be house-keeping.

One of the things that I will miss most about Horwath is this, the books they have in the office library. Seriously, why buy when you can choose from loads of books covering all sorts of topics, from economics to management? Yes, some of you might find that boring...but its really quite interesting! Really!

During my time at Horwath, I've developed a sort-of routine. Every morning, I'll reach the mamak stall in front of my office block at around 7 am. There, I'll spend around an hour and a half catching up with my reading, while munching on my regular breakfast of milo ais, ais kosong and nasi lemak.

As anyone can tell you, the combination of milo and nasi lemak does wonders for your colon. Before you know it, you'll be feeling the 'urge' to let go a huge piece of chocolate cake. Which brings us to the next part of my daily routine...the throne.

Ok lah, I am exaggerating slightly. I don't go to the loo for big business EVERY SINGLE morning. Sometimes only. What do you think I am? Some sort of dung factory??

I've always like to brag over the fact that my office building has the WORST elevators in Kuala Lumpur, bar none. Sure, some people try to top me with horror stories of the elevators in their own offices. But c'mon, take a look at the pics below. Need I say more? Not only do the lifts at my office stink, and are stuffy as hell. They also periodically try to decapitate unsuspecting souls, with doors that won't respond to the 'open' and 'close' buttons. These doors are a menace I tell you.

On my last day at Horwath, my colleagues and I headed over to sevenatenine for a farewell dinner. It was kinda sad, knowing that I won't be seeing them for some time. True, corporate Malaysia is not that big a place, and I know we're bound to bump into one another soon enough, but it was still kinda sad. Good byes are always sad. Darn it.

I am not really in the mood to post much today. I'll let the pics speak for themselves. Right now, Germany just beat Costa Rica 4-2 in the opening match for the World Cup. I'm knackered. I'm gonna go to bed now.

Snarf, Fargle, Zing, Boop

2006-06-05T16:07:00.000+08:00

If the title of this post seems like rubbish...

...it's because it is. I can't be bothered to come up with a amazingly witty, grammy winning title like I usually do, so I just thought I'd randomly type the first few words which came into my mind.

Yup, those were the first four words which came into my mind. I scare myself sometimes.

Ah well, the mind can be a scary thing.

The end of KLIM

Yesterday marked the end of our annual KL Motor Show, and my girlfriend's stint as a brand ambassador for our beloved-car-company-which-likes-to-give-animal-names-to-its-cars (except for the Myvi, which sounds pretty decent. And also the Kembara, which is not named after an animal...at least, none that I know of). For my more duh readers, I'm referring to Perodua. Yup, the maker of the Kancil, Kenari and rumour has it, the up and coming Kuching. Remember, you heard it here first.

Anyway, here are very few pics which I randomly picked coz I am darn free at work at the moment.

In case you're wondering why I am so free, it's because this is my last week at Horwath. By this time next week, I'll be lounging in my new office in Mont Kiara, far from the madness of Jalan Ampang during peak hours. Ho ho ho!

Mandarin Demand is Discriminatory

2006-05-31T09:55:00.000+08:00

Najib, please tell me you're joking

I read something funny in The Star today. You can check it out here. Apparently, our Deputy PM Najib thinks that it is preposterous that private companies which are hiring put fluency in Mandarin as one of their criteria. Najib likens this to discrimination, and it is a practice which must STOP FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE!!

Ermmm...right.

What about poor lil ol' me?

I'm a Chinese, and my Mandarin vocab is limited to phrases such as 'Wo Ai Ni' (I Love You), 'Ni Ai Wo' (You Love Me), 'Che Shuo Zhai Na Li?' (Where is the loo?) and 'Wo Bu Hui Jiang Hua Yi' (I can't speak Mandarin). Sad huh, somemore I actually went for Mandarin tuition during my primary school days. 2 years of it in fact! Money down the drain me thinks...sighhh.

Anyway back to my point, I can't speak Mandarin well, and when I see such job ads stating that they are looking for a Mandarin speaking candidate, I simply just turn the page and continue with my job browsing. I don't give it a second thought. Zip, nil, nada.

Not even once did I suddenly pause to think, "Bugger, I am being discriminated against! It's racism! It's lingualism! Its...its....(insert your own victimistic statement here)"

Najib went on to imply that this was the reason why the number of our famous jobless graduates has increased rom 45,000 in 2000 to 85,000 in 2005.

If only it were that simple.

Discrimination, Shmishcrimination

What next? Would asking that a job seeker has a degree be discriminatory if Najib were to have his way? How about those job ads for the position of a cosmetics sales promoter, where it clearly states that they are only interested in female candidates? Is that considered discrimination against males?

What about companies who are looking for people to manage their operations in say, India, and are looking for a person who is fluent in hindi/tamil? Is that discrimination?

Dear readers, let me tell you what discrimination is.

Discrimination is ....

...you apply for a position in a local university, only to be told that all the available places have been allocated for bumis.

...tenders for government projects are only open to bumi companies.

...the heads of GLCs HAVE to be bumis, irregardless of the competence and skills of competing non-bumi candidates

I could go on and on. All the above scenarios can be considered discriminatory, but we non-bumis accept it with our heads held up high because we want to see Malaysia progress as a nation. Hell, somebody has got to sacrfice if Malaysia is to succeed.

Please note, I am listing down the above scenarios just as examples of what discrimination actually is. I am not bitching about it in any way.

I am not anti-Malay

Before I get postings lambasting me for being unpatriotic and a racist, let me clearly state that I am not anti-Malay in any way. You can check out my prevous posts here, here and here. I do believe that serious efforts have to be undertaken in order to reduce the income gap between the poor and the rich, the Malays and the Chinese/Indians.

What I AM against however, is stupid politicians coming up with inane statements which put the blame for their races' lack of progress on unrelated and irrelevant factors. To put it simply, I am against stupidity.

C'mon Najib, the Chinese and the Indians have long sacrificed so many things to the Malays because we too, want to see Malaysia progress and see the Bumis take their majority-given place as the engine of growth for this country. We are not out to 'sabo' the bumis. The number of jobless graduates worry us just as much as it does you. However, to blame this on the private companies just flat out infuriates me!

Seek the root cause of the problem! Use your capacity as a Deputy PM to do something about it for crying out loud. I'm getting so sick of the blame game politicians play.

Frustrations

2006-05-29T17:03:00.000+08:00

When the oceans rise, and thunders roar

Overwhelming. That's the word that comes to mind whenever I let my mind wander to the shitload of things which are vying for my time and attention. People I have to manage, projects I have to complete, issues which need looking into, deadlines which have to be met....

Sometimes I wish I could just get away from it all, if only for a little while

I Can't Create!!

2006-05-23T10:02:00.000+08:00

Zombie fingers

My fingers seem to be strangely detached from my brain. Interesting thoughts form in my mind, but by the time these thoughts get shuffled between the synapses in my brain, transmitted down rows and rows of neurons, travel down the length of my arm in the form of electrical pulses, which are then translated into a series of muscle twitches which result in the tappity-tap of the keyboard and words being formed on this very screen.....the result is a bunch of mediocre, uninspired sentences so far removed from my original idea that I am ashamed to call them my own.

I loathe these insipid moments where every thought and activity degenerates into a pile of mundane-ness. Not for the lack of thoughts and activities though....it's just....

....I just....

... argghhh, blame it on those fingers, sigh.

Malaysia vs Singapore - Why We Failed

2006-05-17T14:19:00.000+08:00

Scenic Bridge? What scenic bridge?

Further proof that the Internet is full of interesting crap. Here is an interesting comparison I got from a dear colleague of mine via e-mail. Read it and weep (for us Malaysians).

Now you know why we failed in so many Malaysia-Singapore negotiations.

First up...the Singapore Cabinet

PM Lee Hsien Loong
Cambridge University - First Class Honours (1974)
Harvard University - Masters (1980)

SM Goh Chok Tong
University of Singapore - First Class Honours (1964)
Williams College, USA - Masters (1967)

MM Lee Kuan Yew
Cambridge University - First Class Honours (1949)

Minister for Law Prof. S Jayakumar
University of Singapore - Bachelor of Law Honours (1963)
Yale Univerity - Masters (1966)

Minister for Home Affairs Wong Kan Seng
University of Singapore - Bachelor of Arts & Business Admin (1977)
London Business School - Masters (1979)

Minister for Foreign Affairs BG George Yeo
Cambridge University - Double First Class Honours (1976)
Harvard Business School - MBA w/ Distinction (1985)

Minister for Trade and Industry Lim Hng Kiang
Cambridge University - First Class Honours w/ Distinction (1976)
Harvard University - Masters (1986)

Minister for Defence Teo Chee Hean
University of Manchester - First Class Honours (1976)
Imperial College, London - Masters w/ Distinction (1977)

Minister for Education Tharman Shanmugaratnam
London School of Economics - Bachelor of Arts
Cambridge University - Masters
Harvard University - Masters

Now for our Malaysian Cabinet *drumroll*

PM Abdullah bin Haji Ahmad Badawi
University of Malaya - B.A. Hons in Islamic Studies (1964)

Deputy PM Dato' Sri Najib Razak
University of Nottingham - Bachelor of Arts Honours (1974)

Minister of Foregn Affairs Syed Hamid Albar
(can someone tell me his univeristy?? )- Bachelor of Arts

Ministry of Works- Dato' Seri Samy (goodness me, is that an afro??) Vellu
(Education Unknown <--- Mou Tuk Shee)

Ministry of International Trade & Industry Rafidah binti Aziz
Universiti Malaya - Bachelor of Arts Honours

Minister of Agriculture Muhyiddin Yassin
(Education Unknown)

Ministry of Domestic Trade Shafie Apdal
(Education Unknown)

Minister of Education Hishammuddin Hussein
LLB.Hons - University of WalesAberystwyth, United Kingdom
LL.M(London) - Commercial & Corporate Law, London School Of Economics, London

Minister of Home Affairs Radzi bin Sheikh Ahmad
(Education Unknown)

Malaysia Boleh

Apparently, education takes a back seat in bolehland. Doesn't matter how much you know, or how well trained you are, all that matters are the arses you kiss on your way to the top. Oh, I am sure it also helps if you are born into the 'right' family.

After all, connections are everything right?

Sad, so sad indeed.

Karaoke Idol

2006-05-16T09:12:00.000+08:00

Karaoke & Me

I don't know why I still continue going for karaoke. It always ends up the same. It begins with me feeling all pumped up, confidant that I will put in a stellar singing performance which will put Bo Bice to shame.

Sadly, things dont always turn out that way. Alrightttt, they NEVER turn out that way.

I admit, I'm a fan of bands such as U2, Bon Jovi and Aerosmith. In fact, I like them so much, I usually try to sing at least one of their songs in any given k-session. The operative word here is 'try', and boy do I TRY hard. What is it with all these macho men and their ball-shrinkingly, super-high singing abilities??

If I turn down the key a few notches, the chorus of U2's 'With or Without You' becomes manageable, BUT the verses end up sounding like Darth Vader on valium. Argghhh.. there is NO middle ground! It's either super high, or super low! Curse those rockers with their pitch perfect voices and broad vocal range!! @$#%@!!

Faced with such difficult songs, I'll usually end up croaking into the mic, sounding like an Avian-flue riddled duck. So disheartening man.

However, you have to hand it to the indomitable human spirit. No matter how many times a person gets 'beaten' down, quitting is never an option..hahah.

This is what brings me back constantly for more. Oh, and also due to the fact that it's a heck of a lot of fun. Really.

I'm a vocal masochist at heart.

Totally Retro

2006-05-15T10:01:00.000+08:00

Selling T-shirts to the masses

As you all may remember, me and my friends had this blinding flash of inspiration one day while sitting around talking about money and how to get our grubby hands on more of it. Our moment of Eureka went something like this...

"Let's sell something..."

"Sounds good, but what to sell?"

"Let's sell T-shirts!"

"Ermm...okay"

Sure, it might sound very tak-semangat when you read it, but trust me...it was truly a very beautiful, tear inducing moment *sniff sniff*.

Anyway, from that initial moment of brilliance, we began brainstorming hard. You could almost hear the creaky gears in our heads going into overtime. What kind of t-shirts to tell? What would our niche be? Where would be the best location? Should we hire half-naked chicks to stand around our shop in the hopes that it will result in more t-shirt sales? Oh the multitude of questions that cropped up in our minds.

After several months of planning, it's finally all coming together. Our business plan is pretty much complete together with the financial projections. Why, we even managed to come up with a mock-up of what our booth will look like (the shopping mall's management asked for it ler). See? the concept was created in 3D!...*gasps of amazement*.

Ok lah, truth be told, we used Google's sketchup program, recommended by Nimal D. Which by the way is such an easy program to use that even a blind, one handed baboon could have created a model of the Eifel tower in the time it takes for you to read that sentence.

We were also cracking our heads on where our booth should be located. Places that piqued our interest were 1 Utama and Mid Valley, but hey, we aren't choosy. If the rental at dodgy places such as Ampang Point are low enough, who knows, it might be feasible to open a booth there...ahahah

Oh well, we'll submit our proposal to all of them anyhow. Pray it goes well!

Winds of Change

2006-05-08T09:12:00.000+08:00

Not Wesak day yet

Thanks to my friend's muddled knowledge of the yearly calender, I was led to believe that Wesak day falls on today. Imagine the jubilation I felt last Friday when I thought that a 3 day weekend was in store. Oh well, at least I have this Friday to look forward to. Me and my sis will be dropping by Low Yatt Plaza for a morning of Laptop shopping.

Ooohh, buying tech gadgets always gives me goosebumps :) (warning, geek alert!)

Goodbye Kuala Lumpur

Today is also the day where I will be tendering my resignation with my current company. Yup, I got a new job! Praise the Lord! God is really amazing man. I didn't think that I would get such a good offer so soon. I mean, I only began sending out my applications 2 weeks ago. True, the job market now is really hot....but when I look at all the circumstances leading up to this job, it has to be God :)

So come 30 days from now, I will no longer have to work in the heart of Kuala Lumpur. Woo hoo! Goodbye crappy old, perpetually clogged Jalan Yap Kwan Seng and Jalan Ampang. Hello to the idyllic bliss (well, relatively lah) of Mont Kiara.

Having said that, I am gonna miss my current company. My colleagues are really great, and the company has so far been really good to me. Promotions seem to come readily, along with pretty decent yearly bonuses. Working in KL also has its benefits ler, in spite of all the times I've bitched about it.

I mean, in KL, really really good food is usually only a few minutes drive away. Who can forget the great 'lat jiu pan mee', or the fantastic char siu at Jalan Alor. Mmmmm...I'll definitely miss that. I hope Mont Kiara has good food, really. The thought of eating McDonalds day after day is enough to make me hurl and go into sporadic foaming fits.

Handphone shopping ..."Which is the cheapest ar?"

I decided to get myself a new phone along with a new line for my new job. Experience has taught me this, always keep your working phone separate from your personal phone. The last thing you want is annoying clients calling you up at 1 in the morning because they found out that you mispelled in the prospectus, the university they attended way back in 1979. Yeesh.

Anyway, I went to the handphone shop in Taipan and spotted a pretty nifty looking Samsung unit. Alright, truth be told, it was the price tag of RM499 which caught my attention. Since this phone will be used strictly for work, fancy-schmancy features such as a camera will not be required (unless you have a fetish for taking pics of your clients...ugghhh). Oh btw, did I mention that I am a huge fan of Samsung? Well, now you know.

Seeing your dad everyday will make you gay

On a less serious note (were the previous paragraphs all that serious to begin with?...hmmm), I read something in The Star today which caused me to burst out laughing while drinking a cup of milo, which resulted in me spewing out a geyser of milo through my nostrils.

This one chap called CTH (which I assume stands for Certified Transvestitie Hottie) wrote in to The Star saying this....

"Just when people think that husbands being homemakers is such a new and great idea, please spare some thought or the children. What kind of a role model would the house-husband make for a growing boy? He will probably grow up to be a feminine male and gay before long"

Ermmmm....so if a husband stays home to take care of his kids because he loves them and wants the best for them, he is inadvertantly telling them that "Hey, look at me, I am a sissy dad! You will now grow up to be a batty boy!".

Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but the logic behind such conclusions continue to elude me. How in the WORLD do you draw the connection between a stay-home dad and rampant homosexual kids? So if the inverse were true, that means that kids with shitty dads who don't come home at all will grow up adjusted and straight?

My dad was never around when I grew up. So I guess that makes me the most macho, manly, testosterone packed male around lah. Sayyy, that doesn't sound too bad. Maybe this CTH is on to something...heh heh.

Labour Day and Bachelors

2006-05-02T08:23:00.000+08:00

Laborers in the Fields and Offices

After a 3-day weekend, I know that I should be heading to the office this morning feeling fresh and rejuvenated. Raring to take on another week of challenges and opportunities. By right that's how I should feel right?

Far from it.

I'm feeling pretty knackered right now. The flu which has been bugging me for the past 2 weeks doesn't seem to have subsided. My nose is still a leaky faucet of all things gooey and slimy. I also felt that I should have done more during the weekend. I mean, it's not like a 3-day weekend comes around very often ya know. I should have squeezed it for all it's worth, hedonistically draining every single minute and every second!

Instead, I spent the most part of the weekend sleeping. Argghhh!!!

During the few odd hours which I was awake, I did find some time to bonds with my colleagues, and also support my 3 CLEO Bachelor friends as they took to the stage at Zouk.

The BBQ that could have been

We had such grand plans. Everything from the menu to the size of the BBQ grilled had been planned to a T. Why, one of the managers even bought a brand spanking new BBQ grill for the occassion. All this was done to celebrate my boss's birthday, and also to commemorate the opening of their new pool.

This was last Friday night.

As you all may recall, it rained last friday night. And like rain water getting flushed down the drainage systems of Bangsar, so too did our BBQ plans. In the end, we spent the night sitting indoors munching on BBQ flavored chips from Lay's. Bummer.

CLEO Bachelor's Night at Zouk

Well whaddaya know, 3 of my friends have been chosen to be CLEO's top 50 most eligible bachelors for the year 2006. Amazing! I never knew I had such 'sexy' (well, according to CLEO at least...ahahah) friends. They are none other than Liang, Aloysius Wee and Calvin Jacob.

Being the good friend that I am, I dropped by Zouk to watch them embarass themselves. Dang, did that come out loud? I mean't 'to give them my support' or course. Hyuk hyuk.

In the end, none of my friends won the title of 'Best Bachelor'. Oh well, too bad. I thought that having a 'celebrity Bachelor' as a friend would have done wonders for my social status...muahahahah.

Let Your Light Guide Me

2006-04-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

Help me separate the wheat from the chaff,
And the glittering diamonds from the scattered rocks