I Am Your Daddy!
Ngo hai lei ge lou tau!
"Join me and we can rule the galaxy as father and son!"
"I'll never join you!"
"Obi-Wan Kenobi never told you what happened to your father did he"
"He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
"No, Luke *cue the most famous line in movie history*
"NoOooOoO! It cant be! It's not possible!!"
"Search inside your feelings Luke, you know it is true!"
What Death Star?
*Ahem*, okay, Star Wars reenactments aside, the time draws near...the battle station is complete!
A magical date which has surely etched itself into the minds of all Star Wars fans (aka geeks, including myself) throughout the entire galaxy.
As for me, sureeee, I'm anticipating the release of the final installment of the Star Wars pre-episode IV trilogy. I've seen the trailers, drooled over them, and been left wondering whether, maybe, possibly, could it be that THIS episode would be the one which would redeem George Lucas from his previous 2 fiascos masquerading as a Star Wars movie?
You heard me right.
You want to know why? Are you sure? Can you handle it? Alright, you asked for it.
Now, where do I begin...
First off, why-oh-why in the name of all that is good and pure did they decide to cast that kayu, wooden, zombie-like, cant-act-for-rotten-nuts little boy as Anakin Skywalker? Didnt George Lucas see that even a week old, roadkill carcass has more life and character than that little runt? Argghhh!!
Remember the 'touching' scene where he had to say goodbye to his mother? That scene actually brought tears to my eye, and they werent tears of sadness.
Ok, I digress. The person who came up with the idea of Jar-Jar Binks deserves to be bound, gagged and dressed in a Barney outfit, all the while being paraded up and down a crowded street while the crowd proceeds to pelt him (or her) with an arsenal of rotten eggs and brinjals.
Me-sah really think-sah that Jar-Jar Binks-sah is the most-sah moronic and annoying-sah alien EVER-SAH!!!
Everything here is so soft and smooth
Yes, the original Star Wars trilogy did have elements of romance in them. BUT they were extremely well executed, with a potent and effective blend of wit, sarcasm and humour. Romance in the original Star Wars was never of the over-bearing, mushy-wushy variety, but sadly that was exactly what it was in Episode II.
Who can forget the hamsup look on Anakin Skywalker's face (played by Hayden, not the above mentioned zombie-boy) when he first saw Padme in a low cut gown? Or when he uttered those utterly horrendous, supposedly 'romantic' lines?
"Back home everything is rough and hard, unlike here, where everything is soft and smooth *then proceeds to run his slimy hands up and down Padme's arm*"
The Jedi Council likes to hold long, boring meetings
Yadda-yada-yada-yadda blah-bla-bla- blahhh-blabla-blahHHhHhHH.
Purple lightsabers are Gay
How can a Jedi be expected to uphold truth and justice throughout the galaxy if he ends up looking like a fruitcake the moment he wields his weapon?
Boggles the mind I tell ya!
May the Force be With You
However, having said all that, I still have faith that ol' Georgey is able to pull yet another trick out of his bag and totally captivate and enthrall us with his final Star Wars production.
It is because of this faith in all things Lucasfilm that I eagerly await the premiere of Episode III : Revenge of the Sith.
I've already booked my tickets.