Thursday, June 30, 2005

War of the Stinkin' Worlds

Oh Blimey!

I've been waiting for this show for weeks. Weeks I tell ya!! Being a sci-fi fan, any movie about nefarious aliens attacking earth is sure to get my attention. Plus, the movie was directed by Steven Spielberg and stars Tom Cruise.

How bad can it be?

Little did I know, before the night was over, I would come to regret ever asking that question.

What in the World was Spielberg Thinking??

The movie started out promisingly enough. Before 45 minutes have passed, you'd have been treated to the sight of great weather special effects, cool alien machinery rising from the ground, and of course, Tom Cruises' dashing mega-watt smile (only for the girlies).

"Wow, what a great show!", I thought.

For the first half of the show, I was riveted to the action on screen. My eyes were wide open and my arse was literally glued to the cinema seat. Eventhough my bladder was screaming to be relieved (the result of chugging down 2 cups of Coke before the show, doh), I courageously stayed seated for I was afraid that I might miss more alien-invading goodness on-screen. (Anyway, I only lasted for approximately 5 minutes before biology took over and I had to make a quick pit-stop in the loo)

Hmmm, That Seems Kinda Dodgy

However, half-way through the movie things began to transpire on-screen which made you think, "Ermm, this seems to be getting dodgier by the minute".

It all went downhill from there; and I'm talking about street-lunge levels of downhill-ness! Bah!

The movie was seriously lame!! The ending has got to the stupidest ending to a movie that I have ever witnessed in my entire 25 years of life on earth!...and trust me, I have witnessed a LOT of lame arse movie endings in my day.

I was crushed and devastated (pissed and annoyed) that the great Steven Spielberg could possibly produce drivel such as this! Whatever happened to the creative genius that went behind classics such as Indiana Jones, Back to the Future and Jaws?

Due to the fact that this movie only began showing last night, I won't mention anything which might be construed as a spoiler. However, I just have this to say...

"If the aliens were so darn advanced, wouldn't they have a little thing called antibiotics??"

What a waste of my time and money! Argghhh!

(above : Yes, I had the same expression on my face after watching the movie)


Blogger Kamigoroshi said...

Umm...I take that you didn't read the original H.G. Wells novel didn't you? Kinda expected the ending to be that way.

10:01 AM  
Blogger niki said...

Omigod! I totally agree with you. The movie should have been called War of the Crap for all I cared. Even blogged about it two nights ago. :)

Kamigoroshi: I didn't read the book, but I heard that the book wasn't the original. Instead, it was a radio show which was so realistic that people were running out of their houses to look at the sky? Whichever came first, it proves that there ARE ways to make it exciting - Spielberg, unfortunately, didn't know how to do anything but make Tom Cruise's smile glow.

10:08 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

kamigoroshi : Yea, I didnt read the novel. So the ending was supposed to be that way?....hmmm, well they should still have at least done it better..heheh. I mean, the ending of the movie was compressed into like what, 10 minutes?...hahah. Maybe I'll check out the novel one day, thanks for the tip.

10:09 AM  
Blogger Mona said...

I found you by randomly leafing through blogs...thank you for the review, and I am so disappointed to hear that this won't be the summer's next big hit. I guess I go see Batman Begins again.

10:34 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

mona : like what kamigoroshi said, maybe people who have read the novel would enjoy the movie more. For me, I'll wait for Fantastic 4 :)

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

but i'm sure it couldn't be as bad as BATTLEFIELD EARTH!!!

3:36 PM  
Blogger pooh said...

The dead guy was actually gay. Wanna kill an eel with an axe? BODOHISM.

He would get electrocuted. Tak ada baca Tenaga Nasional buku Panduan?

Bacalah. Ini bulan membaca. Moon READINGS.


3:49 PM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

anonymous : Eventhough I don't know who you are, I feel a special bond with you this very instant! Yes, nothing can beat 'Battlefield Earth' for sheer plot stupidity!

"A man animal wants to have leverage over a Psychlon?...muahahah"


4:01 PM  
Blogger pooh said...

I'm officially single now.
Shoot me in the head Mr TRUMP.

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