Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Can Stupidity Be Measured?

I wonder..hmmm

I don't know why but this thought suddenly came into my mind as I was sitting at my work space, staring blankly at a spot on the wall which looks suspiciously like a dried up, squashed lizard. Suddenly it hit me! (the idea, not the dried up, squashed lizard)...Has anybody ever tried to come up with a test which can accurate measure just how moronic a person is?

This idea isn't that far fetched. After all, there are literally zillions of IQ tests floating around on the Internet. Although most of them are quite lame, with results ranging from 'Congratulations, you are as smart as a 2-day old, autistic baboon', to 'Congratulations, you have the same level of intelligence as a piece of dead lalang', they all do have one thing in common - they are all mean't to act as some sort of barometer of a person's intelligence.

Now if I take that same approach and massage it a little, I am sure I can come up with something which can be used to accurately determine once and for all whether a person is truly dumb, or merely pretending to be.

Think of the possibilities!

(above: Bush doesn't know where his heart is)

They are boundless! Using my patented test (which I shall call Densa Mensa, hyuk hyuk, geddit? If you don't, then sorry to say, you..... are...... dumb), I'll be able to save the government and the taxpayer, millions of ringgit. How is this for a start, we will be able to rid ourselves of stupid drivers who insist on road-hogging, driving on the white lines, changing lanes without signalling and listening to Pussycat Dolls CDs in the car by having everyone undergo a mandatory stupidity test during their driving exams. That way, we'll be able to weed out all the morons and have them all packed into a crate and shipped to an uninhabited island such as Singapore where they can do no automotive-related-harm.

Intruiging eh? Wait it gets better. With my patented test, we'll be able to weed out all the people who come under the category of 'stupid' from the government departments, agencies and ministries. Although this means that Samy Vellu will probably be the first to go, and that we'll have no one left in the government and thus have to resort to making our own ICs out of scraps of nasi lemak wrapping, I still think my idea has merit.

Anybody has any suggestions of what sort of questions I should put into my Densa Mensa test?

PS : For people who can't wait for my test and must know NOW whether they are dumb or not, here's an online test for you. Enjoy


Blogger F.O.N. said...

Indeed... Samy Vellu tops the list!

10:00 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

I wonder who's second, probably Hishammudin, the keris waving frutcake.

11:33 AM  
Blogger F.O.N. said...

Heheh! I seems that the common thing we are seeing here is that stupidity is clearly linked to politicians. Hmmmm... What else is new!

12:00 PM  

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