Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Malaysian War-zone

Will wonders never cease

The ever so wise foreigners who run international insurance companies have decided to classify our very own Melaka Straits as a war-zone. By doing so, they will be able to demand higher insurance premiums for ships which trawl the straits.

(above: Yup, it's a War Zone)

Laugh if you must. Call those ang mohs silly if you have to. Me on the other hand, I agree with them totally! C'monnn, any Malaysian who has ever visited Port Dickson can surely attest to have seen the following disturbing, war-zone like sights.

(1) War-zone-like picture, exhibit 1: Freedom fighter holding bomb

The individual in the photo below has been identified as a class-A war criminal, and just look at what he (or is it a she?...hmmm) is holding in his/her hand! It's a weapon of war! Somebody notify the bomb squad!

(2) War-zone-like picture, exhibit 2: Highly trained SEAL troops spotted

This group of hardy, well-trained, and war-like SEALs were spotted along the straits. The baby is allegedly their squad leader. Cunning.

(3) War-zone-like picture, exhibit 3: Genetically modified, mutant soldiers

This guy is obviously a genetically modified soldier. Look, he has gills beneath his nipples.

(4) War-zone-like picture, exhibit 4: Torture devices

Here, a spyshot was taken of a POW being cruely strapped to an electric chair.

(5) War-zone-like picture, exhibit 5: Mass rioting

Those are...ermm...smiles of anger and frustration.

See? I told you so

Having seen all the incriminating and disturbing evidence, the only conclusion that we can come up with is that the Straits of Melaka is full of war-like activities and blood-thirsty beasts. We should all thank the foreigners for correctly pointing out to us that a war-zone exists in our very own backyards.

So to all Malaysians who have never experienced what war is like, let me know and I'll try to organize a trip down to PD.



Blogger NickTay said...

i thinks its mode due to the pirates that attack the ships that cross our seas right? :P

9:26 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

True true, let me check the stats. the last 6 months, we've had a grand total of 1 pirate attack! One!! That's wayy too many! It's a war-zone!!

9:42 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

Anyway, I think that a high rate of crime does not, a war-zone make. If that were the case, New York city will be considered a war zone too. Hmm ... and so will Johor, but I digress.

9:44 AM  
Blogger NickTay said...

yeah, war zone is alittle too drama for 1 pirate attack in 6 months :)

10:41 AM  
Blogger ::Lord Apprentice:: said...

i just thought of something stupid...pirates of the coffeebean.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

Yea, starring Johnny Yip, Orlando Boon and Keirah-najib Lee.

Anyone for Pirates of the Caribou?

*Arrrr...the sight of ye plunderin caribou is enough to warm ye cockles matey, arrrr!*

12:35 PM  
Blogger F.O.N. said...

Bah... them ang mohs have brains the sive of a pea. Though your pictures would paint a more serious problem at hand, they would probably recategorised the area as "No Mans Land" NO INSURANCE COVERAGE. Hehehe!

4:42 PM  
Blogger Sivin Kit said...

well..I was there when war criminal (1) was carrying "his" weapon of war. He's actually a pacifist. He's my son. and I realized that even more when we watched "The March of the Emperor Penguin" together! :-)

4:54 PM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

sivin kit : hahah....I hope u don't mind me borrowing your son's picture in my post yeah. He's adorable man!

8:05 PM  
Blogger xes said...

gee. that is a very old photo. i bet my friends will be very embarrased looking @ the photo :D

11:18 PM  

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