Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Alvin's Stag Night and the Attack of the Mutant Woman

Thou Shalt Embarrass Thy Friend

We had a stag night for my soon-to-be-married friend last Sunday. Just for the record, I'd like to state that I really love stag nights. They are akin to receiving a free passport to humiliate your friends, and which guy doesn't like that eh?

Ahhh...the beauty of brotherhood.

(above: from left, Adrian, Alvin, Chern Yuan and Daniel - while they were still friends)

The task of organizing the stag night was bestowed upon Adrian, Chern Yuan and Daniel. I have no idea why Alvin let them organize it though.

Maybe he is a sucker for punishment and humiliation.

Or maybe he just wanted to prove that he has big cojones and can handle anything they throw at him.

Whatever the reason was, Alvin's parting words of 'Bring It Awnnn!' a week before the stag night was probably ill-advised and served as an ominous sign of things to come.

(above: I grabbed the opportunity to take a photo with Alvin, while he still looked like Alvin)

Our stag night lasted pretty long. It began at 3pm, or at least it was supposed to. In the time honored tradition of Malaysian punctuality, it was almost an hour after 3 before the final one of the motley invitees trickled in.

By then, everyone was pretty pumped up. Of course, the fact that we spent the last hour chugging down nothing but bottles of Coke and Zappel probably contributed to it.

The first round was pretty mild. It involved a simple 'strip question and answer' session revolving around questions on Alvin's future wife-to-be. Sound's pretty simple right? Well, Alvin's expression in the picture below pretty much sums up how the entire session went.

Needless to say, it wasn't long before he was sitting in the middle of the room clad in nothing but a pair of surprisingly water-absorbent briefs. For the sake of my readers, I shall refrain from posting any of those pictures lest I get sued and thrown into jail for crimes against humanity.

Groovy Baybeh!

Next up, we headed over to Cineleisure where Alvin was made to don an Austin Powers getup and go about soliciting signatures from people whose names began with the alphabet 'A'.

A pretty simple task no? Well, not in Malaysia!

Over here, people have a morbid fear of strangers, and the sight of a stranger approaching them (especially one who's dressed like a circus clown) is enough to send them diving under tables and over balconies in a desperate attempt to get away.

Whoever said that Malaysians were friendly ought to have his head examined.

Walking around with Alvin while he tried to convince strangers that he was in fact normal and not some crazed rapist was pretty entertaining. It was like watching the parting of the red sea. The moment he walks into a crowd of people, a path in front of him will automatically form as people tried to avoid eye contact and hurriedly walked away.

Sighh, so memalufying.

In the end, we pitied Alvin and allowed him to get away with collecting only 10 signatures instead of the 30 that we originally wanted.

Oh alright, the actual reason why we cut it short was because we were all famished by then, and by the rate Alvin was going, we'd probably be stuck in Cineleisure till midnight, chasing strangers around with a pen whilst begging them for their signatures.

(above: the fact that she is hot has no bearing whatsoever)

The event was also planned so that Alvin would surprise Angie with a song he composed several years ago for the woman he will end up marrying. It was truly touching, and the rest of the guys did a pretty good job backing him up on the vocals.

Actually, all they did was mostly stand in a line, swaying side to side while giggling like little school girls. But you know la, group dynamics and all. I am sure it made a difference.

(above: I bet Angie's thinking of how to toss Alvin over the balcony)

(above: In the end, true love prevailed and the happy couple posed for a few shots)

By the time it was all over, it was close to 11pm. Almost 7 hours of non-stop laughing can definitely take its toll on a person. I swear, I must have ruptured a kidney or something.

Looking back, it was truly a fun event and it really shows the importance of having good, close friends.

It also shows the importance of not having a stag night at all, but that's a whole different matter *smile*

(content deleted due to the presence of a conscience)



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