Tuesday, September 20, 2005

My 5 Million Ringgit Bash

Party People!

5 Million ringgit is a lot of money. I wonder what kind of party you can have with 5 million smackeroos. I'm having trouble imagining it, but it must definitely be more fun than those fast-food restaurant parties whereby the mascot in the form of a clown, chicken, brown bear etc will come and cavort with you to the tune of 'It's a Small World After All'. Think about it, with 5 million bucks, you can hire a whole ARMY of clowns, chickens, brown bears etc to dance with you! I know that might be really frightening to some of my readers, but I think it's wayy cool! Imagine commanding an entire legion of A&W brown bears and directing them to lay siege to a nefarious McDonalds outlet.


Auld Lang Syne my dear director general

Those of you who've read the newspapers lately would know what I'm referring to. Our outgoing Customs and Excise director general, Tan Sri Abdul Halil Abd Mutalib was accused of blowing 5 million ringgit on his farewell party. Not bad eh for a guy who is basically a government servant. Of course, he didn't take that too well and proceeded to accuse everyone left, right and center of trying to smear his name and bla bla bla.

He also threatened to finger out the names of senior people in his department who have misappropriated funds if he were to be convicted. Basically, what he said can be summarized like this, "If I am going down, I'm not going down alone". Sort of like a 'You Jump, I Jump" but in reverse ("I fall, you fall" anyone?)

How respectable....yeesh.

Of course, the case is still pending with no verdict having been passed out. But seeing how 'upright' and 'honest' some of our customs people can be (especially the big wigs), I'm inclined to believe the accusations. For such cases, its definitely 'guilty until proven innocent'.

What I Would Do With 5 Million

Now, I'm trying to picture what I will do if I were given 5 million ringgit and asked to throw a party for myself. Hmmm, let me see. The party must definitely have:
  • A world famous band performing. Bands such as The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Maroon 5, Alleycats etc
  • Lots and lots of booze! Premium drinks such as Jolly Shandy and Kickapoo will be flowing through out the night!
  • A plethora of rich and famous people. To include luminaries such as Bill Gates, George Bush and Samy Vellu.
  • Eva Longoria, Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Anniston clad in bunny-suits, dancing around me while singing Happy Birthday.
  • A guest appearance by Rafidah Aziz. Who knows, she might give me a zillion APs as a birthday present!

Ahhh, the stuff fantasies are made of.


Blogger Wuching said...

all politicians r corrupt

11:14 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

You know...

I am tempted to agree.

Ok lah, maybe not ALL, but I am sure 99.9999% of politicians are corrupt....hahahh

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

can't be 99.9999%. I have faith in that Michael Chong (MCA), Lim Kit Siang (DAP) and Lim Keng Yaik (Gerakan - overzealous maybe, but not financially compromised) are not corrupt. So maybe 99.5%.

11:51 AM  
Blogger ::Lord Apprentice:: said...

oh thank good ness. 99.5% isnt so bad. Here i was thinking the figures was about 99.9999%!


12:31 PM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

If you round up 99.5% to the 'puluh yang berhampir'...well, you'd basically get 100%. So we're still screwed :D

2:43 PM  
Blogger Wuching said...

screw all politicians!!!

4:18 PM  
Blogger Bernice said...

why on earth would you want George Bush at a party? that guy is the biggest idiot ever. i swear he has horns somewhere on his body.

6:03 AM  
Blogger Bernard Yong said...

I think George Bush kinda resembles a Chimp, and as we all know, chimps are always good for entertainment :)

9:29 AM  

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