"On this Chinese New Yearrrrr....We all go to Ikeaaaaa...Bring home new furnitureeeee....Celebrate togetherrRrRrRR!"
Ever since Ikea ran that annoyingly catchy jingly a few years back, I can't seem to hear the Gong Xi Gong Xi song without suddenly having the urge to stock up on sofa sets and caftans. Curse those marketers!
Anyway, annoying jingles aside, Chinese New Year has always been one of my favorite seasons of the year. There's just something magical about receiving little packets of money while chugging down obscene amounts of fizzy orange drinks and stuffing your face with huge slabs of dried pork meat.Tong tong tong chiang
I'm also a sucker for lion dances, but this wasn't always the case though. I used to be terrified of them when I was a wee lad, and the sight of a dancing lion was enough to make me wet my pants (almost).
I blame this case of childhood lionophobia on one particularly silly pair of lion-dancers many many years ago, who thought that it'd be a good idea to actually APPROACH little children while waving a plastic lion head erratically about. Such dumb asses, if they tried that with the children nowadays they'd probably get a swift kick right in their nuts by little Nike-sneakered feet.Yee suk, sam suk, tai ku cheong bla bla bla
Chinese New Year is also a time where you get to meet up with distant relatives and engage in terribly stimulating
conversations. These conversations usually entail you being surrounded by long lost relatives while they barrage you with comments such as..... "Wahhh...you put on weight already ahh!" "Got girlfriend/boyfriend ah?""So when are you getting married horr? *wink wink nudge nudge*"
... before plonking down in front of a TV showing Fong Sai Yuk II
Captivating stuff.Get them off the screen!!!
Chinese new year also has its bad points, and by bad points, I mean the endless stream of music videos featuring tacky Chinese new year remixes, and little children with even tackier make-up.
For those of you non-Chinese people who may be wondering what I'm jabbering on about, picture this - a music video set in some Taman Titiwangsa lookalike place, little Chinese girls with make-up which would put a Geisha to shame, crap camera angles and a tackily remixed Chinese new year song. Sounds like a recipe for disaster ain't it.
I tell you, if I ever see another lip-syncing 10 year old girl with blood-red lipstick trying to act cute, I'm gonna put a boot through the TV screen.But really, I'm just nitpicking
In spite of its little niggling faults, CNY has and always will be a great season of family bonding, friendship building, and waistline busting. So it is with this that I want to wish all my readers (sounds like I have so many readers when I put it that way right?...ha ha) a very happy Chinese New Year!!