Thursday, January 18, 2007

Okiku Begins Tomorrow Night

My girlfriend's show Okiku, will be premiering tomorrow night at KLPAC. Regular readers would roughly know what the plot is about as I've written about it before in a previous post. I can't wait to watch it!

They had a press event last Friday at Maison where they gave the members of the media a sneak preview of what was to come. Even from that short little scene they acted out, I could tell that it was going to be pretty awesome. True, it's more of a drama-kind of play. Quite a departure from the usual musicals I'm used to, but hey, I'm still game for it.

Here are some of the pics from last Friday. You will notice that I'm in none of the photos (quite rare hor). This is due to the fact that I went straight after work, and as a result looked terrible and un-photo friendly. I admit, I can be a bit vain sometimes *cough cough*

Here is Janice Yap, who will be taking on the main role of Okiku for the play. She always plays characters who die one at one point or another during the show. I have no idea why, maybe she likes acting out dying scenes.

Goodbye cruel world!!!....*sob sob* *screeeeeaaaaaaammmmmmmm* *uuuurrrkkkk*

Not sure if you can see from the photos, but the outfits were amazing. I never knew traditional Japanese outfits could make a girl look hot! Those Japanese shoguns from the 15th Century sure were some lucky bast@#%$

The response from the crowd was great, and when the show ended the whole place was filled with claps and cheers. One encore definitely ain't enough.

Why, it's Samurai Jack! I don't think the sword he is brandishing is the real deal, it's probably made of plastic or something.

The cast of Okiku with some unknown dude standing in the centre...hmmmm.

Sadly, despite my best efforts to look 'seductive', no one crowded around me with their cameras and camcorders. Oh well.........

So the show will be starting tomorrow and will run till the 28th of January 2007. Show your love and support by getting your cyber-arse over to Okiku@KLPAC and book yourself some tickets!

See you there!


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Honest Police Officer Sir, I Wasn't Aiming At His Head

A turret here, and another one there

Is it just me or are the drivers on the roads of Malaysia getting more imbecilic by the day? Just this morning, I got honked at by some Blazing Idiot (BI) on the way out from Subang Jaya just because I ter-blocked his path for like 20 seconds. 20 SECONDS!! can't even pick your nose satisfactorily in that time.

The BI was driving a black pickup truck (can't afford a real car eh) and went past me with his engine revving loudly and horn blaring like somebody just stuck a nail in his scrotum. What a dick. I almost wanted to give chase, wind down my window and show him the universal sign of friendship but I decided against it. One of my new years' resolutions is to stop losing my temper on the road, but at the rate I'm going, I'll consider it a major achievement if I even make it till February.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Hopeless Applicants

Goodness Gracious Me

I recently put a job ad in The Star Classifieds. The purpose was to hire around 4 new marketing executives, but judging by the response so far, I'll be considered extremely friggin fortunate if I even manage to land a single good candidate.

The quality of the applications are hopeless! Hopeless I tell ya!!

I have received quite a few applications already, but just looking at them is enough to make my eyes water, my nose run and my balls shrivel up and drop off.

In fact, I think they already have :P

In view of the multitudes of clueless job seekers in Malaysia, here are a few tips when it comes to applying for a job. Presenting, Bernard's Cultural Guide to Job-Hunting for make benefit glorious nation of clueless people.

#1 - Include a freakin cover letter!

Don't lah just send me an empty email with a 2-page attachment containing your information. You think I'm a mind reader issit? Say lah what you're sending this in for, what position are you interested in etc. For all I know, you could be some spam-bot which sends out gazillions of mails with innocent looking attachments in the hope that a person will be foolish enough to open it thus causing his or her PC to implode on itself as the unleashed virus runs amok.

#2 - Provide detailed information on your career history

You have no idea how many people fail when it comes to this. A lot of them give crap information such as 'I worked at Ah Kow Sdn Bhd as a Junior Executive'. What the?? What in the world am I supposed to read from that?

Describe what it is your company does, and also your job duties and achievements. Unless of course you don't have any major achievements. If that's the case, then try to think of something noteworthy which you can crap about. For example, 'I successfully managed to streamline my company's data storing processes, resulting in increased efficiency and effectiveness'. Translation, I arranged my company's file folders in neat little stacks in alphabetical order. See? It isn't that hard right?

#3 - State your expected salary

Coz if you don't, I assume that you're willing to work for free.

#4 - Include a photo you pansy!

Despite stating in my job ad that I wanted applicants to include a passport photo, many of them chose not to. Why so shy lah? Do you have some hideous deformity, or some huge growth sticking out of your left ear-lobe?? Yeesh.

The only excuses for not sending a photo are (i) your face recently appeared on the front page of The Star under the headline 'Suspected Serial Dog Molester', (ii) you live in a land where cameras are thought to be of the devil and therefore banned (a land such as Terengganu, Kelantan, and any other PAS controlled area), and (iii) you're ugly.

If none of the above apply, then please oh please just send in a photo as well lah.

In conclusion

Follow my 4 quick and easy steps above and be on your way to a successful and glittering career! No longer will interviewers laugh in your face! No longer will they hurl abuse and human excrement after you once the interview is over! Walk into any interview with confidence knowing that you've followed Bernard's sound advice and are therefore ready for anything the employer may throw at you (except human excrement of course).

Monday, January 08, 2007

First Post of the Year


Yup, it is 8 days into the new year and only now do I have the time to sit down and come up with a post for my blog. At first I thought of writing something pretty special, you know, since it is the first post of the year and all. But between my job, Christmas activities, New Year revelry and my on-the-side projects, I just couldn't find time to come up with a post which was worthy of the hallowed Hodgeriam blog *cough choke*.....ah well, you get my drift.

Looking back at the year that was, I can't help but be amazed at God's goodness and grace. The year 2006 was the 'Year of Increase', as shared by the leaders of my church. Throughout the most part of the year however, I recall barely being able to see any sort of increase in my life. It was all one struggle after another, one stumble after another. I almost thought that I've missed out on the promised increase through my own ineptitude.

It was only at the end of the year that all of God's promises seemed clearer. That it all somehow came divinely came together. And you know what, it was more than what I had even dared to hope or ask for.

One verse which resonated strongly within me during the latter parts of the year was Ephesians 3:20.

Now glory be to God, who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of - infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes.

Powerful isn't it. The verse says 'beyond what we would ever dare to ask or even dream of'. I am sure all of us have big dreams. I know I do, I dream big all the time.

So here God is, saying to me that whatever my dreams are, no matter how big I may think they are, it is nothing compared to what He has in store for me. It is practically like comparing a puddle of water with the Pacific ocean, a grain of sand with the Sahara, a single blade of grass with the vastness and might of the Amazon. Our dreams, my dreams are THAT insignificant when compared to the plans of God.

The thought of that fills me with a renewed sense of hope and courage. That as long as we put God first, and follow Him, the results and rewards will be far beyond what our limited minds can fathom.

Amazing. Then again, I have an Amazing God :)

The year 2007 is the Year of Venture, and with it comes new journeys, new territories and new mercies. I don't know about you, but I absolutely can't wait to see what God has in store for me. It's gonna be a blast.

Shown below are some photos taken during the last few days of the year 2006. Enjoy.

(above: My church had it's very own original Christmas production, and it was fantastic!)

(above: Hwee Yen, Norman and Janice as Amy, Michael and Lisa)

(above: I was initially supposed to play the role of James, an arrogant spoilt brat. I wonder why. I couldn't though due to my tight schedule, but in the end, Shahnon gallantly rose to the challenge and he was magnifique!)

(above: Liang doing his thang as only Liang knows how)

(above: My old friend, Alex aka Fei Chai had his wedding on Christmas Eve. I can't believe he is a married man now. But married man or not, I still think he looks like a Furby, don't you agree?...hahah)

(above: We had our Christmas countdown in my girlfriend's house. However, due to the fact that a large portion of the night was spent watching Borat (and getting grossed out by the sight of two naked adult men wrestling in a hotel room, I refrained from posting up any photos lest I offend my more mature readers)

(above: The baby has grown!)

(above: The girls used to blame me for grouping them under the 'Ugly Boys Clan', I have no idea why. Frankly, I think they like the idea of it more than I do)

(above: We had a Christmas gathering at Adrian's house. It was a pot bless, so everyone was supposed to bring a particular dish. As always, everyone ended up bringing wayyy too much food)

(above: Daniel showing his manliness by dissecting a poor, headless turkey. Hou man ah!!)

(above: You're never too old for...ermm..Alice in Wonderland)

(above: Speaking of Daniel, did anyone notice his nicely sculpted eye-brows? Hou man ah!!)

(above: We toasted to these cups of bubbly. I know they look like liquified candy floss, but you know what....they probably are. One cup alone is enough to send any diabetic to the ICU)

(above: Proof that watching Borat can be a bad influence. Alvin and Jon developed a penchant for man-on-man wrestling. Thankfully they kept their clothes on...I think )

(above: Brothers-in-arms)