Friday, June 30, 2006

Bullying Bitches

Amazing how absolutely pathetic some people can be

I'm sure you guys would have read in the newspaper recently about the recent spate of bullying cases in Malaysia. Well, here's the infamous video clip of a group of school girls (I assume that they are girls, but judging from their mannerism, primates would seem to be a more fitting description) beating up on another.

Sighh...the sad stench of 'gansterism'. It's so easy to act big and tough when you're in a group and you outnumber your adversaries eh. I wonder what will happen if the tables were turned. I've known so many of these supposedly 'tough hats' who are reduced to a whimpering pile of crap when they are isolated from their so called gang. Although I think that the girl in the video should have done more to stand up for herself, I don't hold that against her in any way. After all, it's easier said than done right?

I seriously hope the parents of those screaming, slapping bitches will take a long hard look at this video clip and see first-hand, the monstrosities which they have raised. Then again, judging from the behavior of these kids, I can safely say that their parents must be no better (ie, low class, uncivilized people).

The scary thing is, such cases of bullying are not new. Therefore, I guess we all should be thankful for technology and the Internet. For without them, such cases will continue to go on and on without any attention being drawn to it.

However, now that we DO know just how rampant such things are, it is up to our government and the Ministry of Education to do something about it. Oh joy....... :P

Monday, June 26, 2006

New Sicknesses Discovered by Malaysian Scientists

Bird flu eat yer heart out

The Malaysian Ministry of Health is now asking the public to be on the lookout for symptoms of the following new contagious diseases.

Severe rashes around the mouth caused by kissing too much ass. The number-one disease in Malaysia amongst civil servants.

Uncontrollable urge to continually dial friends on mobile phone to share with them such important information as "I'm now on the monorail" or "I'm walking towards the car." Victims can be recognized by large,
twitching thumb.

Blotchy skin condition caused by eating too many packets of instant noodles.

Affliction whereby victims make frequent trips to Vietnam, Thailand,Indonesia, and China to take on additional brides. Middle-aged men are at significant risk.

Compulsion to date Asian females. Very common affliction amongst foreign celebrities and caucasian expatriates working in Malaysia. Also known as Pinkerton's Disease.

Flushed complexion, high blood pressure and sometimes depression at finding out one has not won any gaming numbers and lotteries.

Excessively large breasts. This disease comes in several variant strains........ Heavytitis A; Heavytitis B; Heavytitis C, andsometimes Heavytitis DD.

Feelings of stress and panic caused by lack of internet access.

A compulsive need to colour one's hair. Reddish brown tints are the most common symptom, but health authorities have reported a new strain of blond highlights.

Victims exhibit a great need to talk ****. Highly contagious. Spread by ordinary conversation, and may be exacerbated by good food and alcohol. Politicians and lawyers are especially susceptible. Incurable.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Close Encounters of the Moronic Kind

Stupid Lady in a Kelisa

I had the 'privilege' this morning of crossing paths with an uptight, kiasu lady in a maroon kelisa. It happened at one of those roads where 2 lanes combines into 1. People, being civilized, usually take turns cutting into that 1 lane. First, the car on the left will go, then the car on the right, then the left and so on. Makes sense right? Everybody has their turn nice and proper, that way the traffic remains smooth and doesn't get clogged up like some sanitary pad filled toilet bowl.

So there I was, on my way to work, with the CD by Israel Houston blasting through my speakers, patiently awaiting my turn. Suddenly, I noticed that there was this little red object beside me, inching annoyingly forward. Turning to my right, I caught sight of a pale-faced lady, very thin, hook nose, looks like a witch, the works. This pale-faced, thin, hook-nosed, witch-like lady (phew...that's a mouthful. I think I'll just shorten it to PAFTHOW) ignored me and continued to inch her car forward in violent lurches, adamantly making sure that I did not get to take MY RIGHTFUL TURN!

The Duel

Everytime the car in front moved forward and I put on my signal light indicating that I want to merge into the lane, PAFTHOW would come roaring from behind, screeching to a stop a few milimeters from the bumper of the car in front. What the??!!

Annoyed, I tried to squeeze my way through, using a combination of poor clutch-play and mashing of the accelerator in an atempt to make my car lurch back and forth.

Lurching cars are scary alright.

Our side mirrors came within touching distance. Her car was literally inches from mine. I could see every single pock-mark on her scarred, weather beaten face. My lips curled up into a tense smile. I griped my steering wheel tightly, my knuckles turning white in the process.

A bead of sweat formed across my brow and trickled down.

My heart raced...up ahead, I could see the traffic beginning to move forward again.

Now was my chance!

Using my devastating skill, I expertly balanced my car at 3500rpm. My whole vehicle was pumped and primed, ready to POUNCE! Like a Tiger!!

NO way was PAFTHOW gonna get ahead of me. Never!

The car in front of us moved. Both of our cars raced forward, trying to close up the newly opened gap. Side mirror to side mirror, door to door, wheel to wheel. It was heart pumping stuff!

She is Good!

In spite of my heroics, it didn't work. PAFTHOW must have nerves of steel. Either that or she has loads of experience cutting people off on busy, packed roads. She expertly positioned her car slightly on the outer side of the road, before swooping in once she had a few inches of space to spare.

In this game of chicken, I backed down. No way I was gonna risk getting my car dented just to prove a point to PAFTHOW.

Crest-fallen, I backed away. Letting her go ahead of me. My ego was in ruins, my heart laid in tatters before me. Oh the humiliation!! The agony of defeat!!


You'll have to excuse me for now. I need to find a place where I can cower in a corner and lick my wounds.


Wednesday, June 21, 2006

I wan't to write a powderful post...

..but I don't have the time!

Argghhh...looking back at my past few posts, I realised that they are all nothing more than a bunch of photoshop'ed pictures accompanied by a few miserable sentences. Where is the literary flair in that?? I can't believe I have let myself become like this. I have degenerated into....just...another ... PHOTO-BLOGGER...urkkk!!!

Of course, now that I have identified the problem, there are 2 things I can do about it. First, I can begin attacking my keyboard with a vengeance, churning out a soddingly long post full of konon-nya witty remarks, insightful comments and other generally entertaining crap. On the other hand, I could just post another shit-load of photos, attach a few miserable sentences to it, pass it off as a blog post and continue whining and bitching about how I don't have enough time to blog anymore.

You know what? That second option sounds much easier.

To all my readers, don't worry lah. I have not given up writing entirely. I just need inspiration. Works of arts can't be rushed you know.

Btw, Proton just launched the new Satria Neo. Ooooohhh!! As you all may know, I am hopelessly in 'love' with Protons and their rattly, brittle components. I think I'll write something about it in my next post, after I've popped by a nearby Proton dealer to check it out of course.

So stay tuned! As for now, here are somemore photos...muahahah.

My new workplace

Some of my readers have been asking me to upload pics of my new office. In order to silence their rabid please, I've decided to do just that. Enjoy, all you demanding folks.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sambungan Otak

New surroundings, new colleagues, new challenges, new everything

Today is the 3rd day at my new job. There is so much information to absorb that my brain feels like its going to combust and ooze out my nostrils in a slimy trail. It's been hectic, for sure, but heaps of fun as well. Hopefully I'll be somewhat settled down by next week, then the actual work can begin.

Working in Mont Kiara so far has sure been fun. The place is practically jam free after work. Driving out of Mont Kiara and Hartamas is a breeze. But then I'll hit PJ where the streets are more packed than Brad Pitt's abs on Troy. @#$@!! Seems like you can 't get anywhere around PJ without getting stuck in a jam. Oh well, a few minutes of motoring freedom is better than nothing. At least my commute home has been cut down to aroundd 30-40 minutes, from the usual 1 hour plus it took me to get back from KL.

My new job also doesn't leave me much time to blog. At least for now. Hopefully when I'm more settled, I'll be able to resume my pointless-but-ultimately-satisfying-for-the-soul blogging activities.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Time's Up Concert

The Time is Now, It's Now or Never

This post took a long time coming (the concert was last week), but I only recently managed to get my hands on the pics. It was well worth the wait though, I thought the pics turned out pretty well. Props to the photographer, Adrian Ong.

The turnout was good, the music was tight, the atmosphere was excellent and everyone had a blast of a time singing and praising! I won't say much, I'll just let the pics speak for themselves.

(above: This was the morning session. All in all, we played 2 sessions. One in the morning, one at night)

(above: Jon Koo, and a keh-leh-fair in the background)

(above: From left, Daniel, Adam, Grace and Cason)

(above: Eric Thoo, our electric guitarist. Some of you may recognize him from the 'Nipple Cripple' photo...hahahah)

(above: Twinkle twinkle little starrrRRRRrrRrrrr....)

(above: And now for the night concert....)

(above: The turnout was simply gobsmacking. I don't know the exact number, but the whole hall was crammed with human bodies, all jostling for space. I think there were like 2,000? 3,000 people?)

(above: The opening dance for the night, choreographed by Janice)

(above: Ka-chow!)

(above: From left, Shahnon, Amanda and Jon Lim)

(above: Our songstress extraordinaire, Juwita Suwito)

(above: Mr Cleo Bachelor, Liang)

(above: I have no idea what I'm playing)

(above: From right, Jon, Angeline, Person-Hidden-By-Angeline's-Mic, Norman & Eluth)


Saturday, June 10, 2006

My Last Day at Horwath

It's been a long time

2 years 2 months. That's the amount of time I spent at Horwath. Though it may sound long, in reality everything passed by in a rush. Time sure flies, especially the older you get. It's an ironic paradox that the more time you wish you had, the less of it you have. But then again, life sometimes appears to be one big paradox at times doesn't it.

My time at Horwath will always be fondly remembered. The work was interesting, my colleagues were swell, the environment was great. However, after spending more than 2 years there, I knew it was time to turn the page to a new chapter of my life. I wonder what new challenges this next phase of my life will hold.

Only time will tell. Here are some pics taken from my last day at Horwath. This post isn't very interesting (I guess), but I hope you'll enjoy it all the same.

I vividly remember my first day at Horwath. The date was April 1st. Yup, April Fool's day. I arrived, was introduced to the rest of my department colleagues, and promptly began work. How unfamiliar and strange everything felt at that time. Such a stark contrast with the way I feel now. After more than 2 years spent plying the hallways of Horwath, I have grown fond of its sights and sounds. I know I will definitely miss the place.

Here are some pics of my work place. Yea, it looks all nice and neat now, but that's only because I already packed up most of my stuff. If you could see it 5 minutes before this pic was taken, it would have been a whole different story...hahaha.

I usually can't stand an untidy work place. But iIn my line of work, we deal with literally tons of documents. However when dead lines are looming, annoying clients are on the line with an irate email from the SC officer vying for your attention, trust me, the last thing on your mind would be house-keeping.

One of the things that I will miss most about Horwath is this, the books they have in the office library. Seriously, why buy when you can choose from loads of books covering all sorts of topics, from economics to management? Yes, some of you might find that boring...but its really quite interesting! Really!

During my time at Horwath, I've developed a sort-of routine. Every morning, I'll reach the mamak stall in front of my office block at around 7 am. There, I'll spend around an hour and a half catching up with my reading, while munching on my regular breakfast of milo ais, ais kosong and nasi lemak.

As anyone can tell you, the combination of milo and nasi lemak does wonders for your colon. Before you know it, you'll be feeling the 'urge' to let go a huge piece of chocolate cake. Which brings us to the next part of my daily routine...the throne.

Ok lah, I am exaggerating slightly. I don't go to the loo for big business EVERY SINGLE morning. Sometimes only. What do you think I am? Some sort of dung factory??

I've always like to brag over the fact that my office building has the WORST elevators in Kuala Lumpur, bar none. Sure, some people try to top me with horror stories of the elevators in their own offices. But c'mon, take a look at the pics below. Need I say more? Not only do the lifts at my office stink, and are stuffy as hell. They also periodically try to decapitate unsuspecting souls, with doors that won't respond to the 'open' and 'close' buttons. These doors are a menace I tell you.

On my last day at Horwath, my colleagues and I headed over to sevenatenine for a farewell dinner. It was kinda sad, knowing that I won't be seeing them for some time. True, corporate Malaysia is not that big a place, and I know we're bound to bump into one another soon enough, but it was still kinda sad. Good byes are always sad. Darn it.

I am not really in the mood to post much today. I'll let the pics speak for themselves. Right now, Germany just beat Costa Rica 4-2 in the opening match for the World Cup. I'm knackered. I'm gonna go to bed now.