I Am The Godfather
That life changing call took place sometime late last night. When the sky was dark, with nary a light but from the beams bequeathed upon us by our interstellar neighbour.
It started out like just any other call between a guy and his girlfriend. Little did I know what she had in store for me.
We were just chatting and sharing, when she suddenly whispered the words which were to have such a profound impact on my barren, mortal life.
In a sinister voice (think Marlon Brando from The Godfather), she said.....
"I purchased an entire boxed set of HBO's award winning 'The Sopranos' fromThis was followed by several heart stopping moments of her maniacal laughter.
seasons 1 to 5"
Beads of sweat formed on my brow and began making their way, drop by drop, down my cheek. Carving an intricate path of descent upon my face.
She knew I was powerless to resist. It wasnt only me though. NO man on earth could resist the allure of countless hours of Sopranos indulgement. Hedonism at its most extreme.
But I stood firm....not for one second did I give in to the apparently overwhelming might of the 'Sopranos'.
However, I was severely weakened. After all, I am but just flesh and blood. Susceptible to the inveiglements of life.
Sensing my diminished state of being, my girlfriend finally decided to deal the killer blow. To finish me off.
She planned this all along.
She knew that if by some miracle I manage to withstand her first 'assault', this second one would surely bring about the end of my futile resistance.
I could sense her smiling even over the telephone. I could hear it in her voice. Her exact sentence eludes me, but in my hazy-state-of-mind, I managed to capture the following words.
"Purchased....boxed set.... F.R.I.E.N.D.S ...seasons 1 to 10"
I have been vanquished.
My weekends and social life as I know it are over.
See you in a years time.