Monday, August 29, 2005

'Am I Gay?'

Of Battyboys and Their Ilk

Woah, before you get all excited, let me clearly state that I am not in any way questioning my sexual-orientation. It's just that I've recently come across this blog posting which talked about Dr. Dobson's latest guide on how to tell if your child is gay. After reading through his list of so-called 'gay warning signs', I can't help but roll my eyes (figuratively of course. I can't roll my eyes in real life, and we all know that only gay guys can roll their eyes right?). Why? read the list below for yourself (the list below together with the comments were taken from this blog here)

1) Your boy has a strong feeling he is "different from other boys." As we all know, boys must feel exactly like all other boys, or else they are clearly homosexual.

2) "A tendency to cry easily, be less athletic, and dislike the roughhousing that other boys enjoy." Of course, on a relative scale, some boys are bound to be less athletic than others. Well, sorry. These boys are gay.

3) "A persistent preference to play female roles in make-believe play." When you see him play cowboys and Indians, and he wants to be the squaw... uh, oh.

4) "A strong preference to spend time in the company of girls and participate in their games and other pastimes." For example, boys must never play with their sisters. Isn't that the leading cause of homosexuality right there?

5) "A susceptibility to be bullied by other boys, who may tease them unmercifully and call them 'queer,' 'fag' and 'gay.'" Yes, parents, if the kid next door calls your son a fag, then he is. Four year-old neighbors have a sixth sense: They see gay people.

6) "A tendency to walk, talk, dress and even 'think' effeminately." Effeminate thinking is destroying our nation; someone better tell Condoleeza Rice.

7). "A repeatedly stated desire to be -- or insistence that he is -- a girl." This is the clearest sign. Apparently, your young homosexual will actually announce his sexual orientation by telling you, while drinking his juicy-juice, that he is actually a girl. Not a gay. A girl.

'Girly Men'

I understand what Dr.Dobson is trying to achieve here, but frankly I think his methods might be a bit misguided. The list above doesn't do anything other than oversimplify the whole issue of homosexuality. To call a boy who shuns rough activities a gay is just plain wrong. I know of many guys who might be considered 'soft' or 'effeminate' but they are certainly not gay in any way. However, if their parents had read the list above, they would have most probably been wisked off to some gay-therapist when they were young. Talk about tramautic.

Anyway, read through the actual post here. Pay attention to some of the comments, hilarious.

What are my views on homosexuality then? Where do I stand in the ongoing debate over 'nature vs nurture'? Are gays born they way they are, or does upbringing play a part in determining their sexual orientation? Is it wrong to be gay? Sorry to disappoint all you curious readers out there, but I think I'll save it for another post :)

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz - Brilliant Man or Buffoon?

A Thorn Amongst the Roses

People who know me would know that I don't particularly care for our local politicians. To me, most of them are as dull as dishwater. True, some of them have interesting nick names like 'Tiger Lee', but when you come down to it, the whole lot of them are practically identicial with regards to their policies, views and *shock horror* even their looks as well. it just my imagination, or do all the top guys in MCA sport the same oblong hairdo, wear chunky-framed oh-so-yesterday glasses, and come clad in identical pastel shirts?

Ahh, but there is hope. Amidst a sea of yawn-inducing politicians, there is but one who stands out. A man who is unlike any other. A man who's IQ level is a perfect 10. A man who's insightful comments are sure to send any educated, sane person into fits of rolling-on-the-floor-while-clutching-tummy laughter.

Ladies and Gents, the person I am referring to is none other than our dear Kelantan Menteri Besar, Datuk Nik Abdul Aziz Nik Mat. Let's give it up for Nikki! *clap clap*

Say What?

I am sure you've heard of this man. The spiritual leader of PAS, menteri besar of Kelantan, husband of goodness-knows how many wives, and an all round 'intellectual' *bwahahah*.

Yes, he who uttered such classic lines as, and I paraphrase, "Education is bad because it makes the criminals smarter"

Or "The Malays in Malaysia are like the Jews because they don't accept the Islamic State concept that PAS proposed"

And in case you're wondering, yes he's the same guy who said that non-muslim males should literally have their eyes amputated in order to reduce sex crimes.

C'mon, is the guy a comic genius or what? Bill Cosby and Jerry Sienfeld, read it and weep!

For The Sake Of Old Virgins

Recently, our dear ol' Nik Aziz was quoted again in the newspapers. This time, it was with regards to his 'grave concern' for aging virgin women.

Basically, he said this.

"All wives should keep in mind the 'problems' faced by aging virgin women, whose number has increased in the contry, and not stop their husband from marrying again"

These wives he said, should not prevent their husbands' plans by reacting angrily as long as the latter could afford to take another wife. He went on to say "Just think of the situation faced by the aged virgin. She will be forced to remain unmarried when in actual fact, there is a man who desires (aka lust) after her. Wives should thus give these men room. These things will not be resolved as long as wives only seek to fulfil their own desires but not think of their husbands' desires as well"

Classin ain't it? Why, even Socrates himself could not have come up with such 'insight' into the ills of society. You have to wonder, how in the world does somebody living in the 21st century manage to come up with such, to put it nicely, 'strange' views? Alright, his views are plain hogwash and scary at the same time. Hogwash because you can just about picture a bunch of pigs rolling about in a pool of his views, and scary because this is not some random, crazy fellow who's wandering along the streets. He is a Menteri Besar of a State in our country! A man of privilege, a man who by all means should know better!

So what do you propose Mr. Nik Aziz? That all married men go around looking for virgins to de-flower in the name of all that is good and pure? I know sleeping with as many virgins as possible remain your lifelong dream and ambition, but not every guy is as perverted and sexually-obsessed as you my dear menteri. Yes, it may come as a shock to you (and it might overload your stunted intellect) but some guys actually do want to...and listen closely now...stay committed to the woman they love.

Anyhow, these are only my personal views. I wonder what the rest of Malaysians think about such comments by a Menteri Besar. Which brings me back to my original question,

A brilliant man or a buffoon?


Monday, August 22, 2005

Chocolates and Winners Champagne

Chocolates Everywhere

I managed to catch 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' last night at Summit's GSC. For those of you who's wondering 'why in the world would anyone who is sane choose to go to Summit?', let me just say these 3 things. It's near my house, tickets are always available and parking isn't a quit wondering.

How was the show then? Well, I will say the show was pretty average. I had high expectations initially, after hearing some of my friends rave about it and after reading some pretty positive reviews of the movie. The movie is based on a children's novel by Roald Dahl, a gifted children's book writer who was born in 1916. Hmm...Roald Dahl. I do feel sorry for a person who's surname is synonymous with 'roti canai dip'. Thank goodness the bloke lived in England and not in Malaysia eh.

Montoya You Fool!

People who know me well would know that I'm a certified car nut (I really DO have a certificate! Ask me and I'll show you). Being a certified car nut, it's a given that I like to watch F1. As anybody who watches F1 would be able to tell you, there is only one driver worth rooting for... Michael Schumacher (I can just about hear all the cries of indignation from M.Schumacher haters out there).

Well, sad to say my man Schuey is having a pretty horrible season this year. With the championship out of his reach this year, the race has basically turned into a 2 horse race between Raikkonen and Alonso. Naturally, I'm rooting for Raikkonen. I mean, who wouldn't? Alonso is wayyy too young to be crowned a world champion in my book. He's just a young punk. An extremely blessed and fortunate young punk. An extremely blessed and fortunate young punk who I'd love to trade places with...sighhhh. Oh well, the envious green monster aside, I still think Raikkonen is the superior driver and deserves to win the championship this year.

So imagine my horror when on the final 2 laps of the race, with Raikkonen in the lead and Alonso in 3rd, second place man Montoya did a complete bungler and went off-track after being rear-ended by a car which was 3 laps down!! C'monnnn...what in the world??!

What on earth could have made him try to overtake a car which was 3 laps down via such a risky overtaking maneoveur? Arggh, it boggles the mind. Anyway, due to his moronic mistake, Raikkonen is now still trailing Alonso in the championship race by 24 points. It could so easily have been 22 points darn it!

Alright, calm down. There are still 5 races in the season right? If Alonso crashes out in 3 of them, that would mean that Raikkonen still has a fair chance right? Sounds good to me.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go put the final touches to my Alonso-voodoo-doll. It will be ready by the bext race, I promise you *cackle*


Wednesday, August 17, 2005

My Very Own Lap Dance

Geeks Of The World Unite

All the tech geeks out there will surely agree with me on this. The ultimate 'lap dance' is the one which involves nestling a newly purchased laptop on your lap. Not the kind where a busty, silicone-enhanced girl gyrates herself against you to the rhythm of some cheesy, konon-nya seductive song.

Of course, I'm speaking from an 'outsiders' point of view since I've never had a lap dance performed on me before...*ahem*. But c'mon, how could it possibly be better than having 1.73 gigahertz of processing power, together with a gig of RAM and 128 MB of graphic performance right there on your very own lap?

I Bit The Bullet and Bought It

I don't know why it took me so long to post about this. It's been exactly 1 week, 3 days and 9 hours since I bought my laptop from PC fair and there hasn't been a single mention of it on my blog. I guess it shows my level of restraint and self-discipline...hahah. It's either that or I secretly know that it isn't that interesting a topic to post about in the first place (I mean, do you care if I bought a new laptop? See what I mean). Ah well, since I've got nothing else better to post today, I'm going to subject you, my dear reader, to a totally pointless write-up on my new......laptop! *cue sinister music*

Acer is the Best, Far above the la la

I went for the PC Fair at the brand spanking new KLCC 1 week 3 days and 9 hours ago, and in spite of the packed halls with its thousands of jostling, sweaty bodies; I managed to get myself a new laptop.

Walking into the exhibition hall, I was confronted with literally a zillion laptops on display. There were so many different brands and configurations to choose from that a non-tech person who's looking to buy a PC would definitely suffer a nervous breakdown and be reduced into a blabbering, foaming imbecile.

Thankfully, I have attained a sufficiently high level of Geek-hood as a result of countless hours spent poring over tech magazines and CNET's website. Technology jargons are swiftly deciphered by my powerful mind! A sales person's techno-babble is silenced to a mere whimper by my steely gaze! Ahh, the intoxicating effects of power.

Back to Reality

*Ahem* Anyway, I was basically looking for a laptop for my office and personal work with the ability to dabble in some form of gaming on the side. Okayyy, to be honest, I was looking for a kick-ass gaming rig with the ability to do some word processing on the side. But since my budget did not allow me to own an above-mentioned kick-ass rig, I had to settle for something in between. A compromise between versatility, performance and price.

In the end, I settled for the Aspire 1692 by Acer. Check out the pics below.

The specs are pretty decent, with a 1.73GHZ Pentium M processor with 2MB Cache. However, one of the main reasons why I got this laptop was because it came with a pretty cool graphics card in the form of ATI Radeon's X700 with 128MB of standalone memory. After upgrading my RAM to 1GB, I am glad to report that this baby is able to handle most of the recent games with ease. I've been playing Half-Life 2 and Far Cry at a resolution of 1280x800 with all the graphic settings set to 'high' and it has been extremely smooth. As smooth as a baby's buttocks to be exact :)

The other cool stuff (cool to me, at least) which the laptop is equipped with is a slot-loading dual layer DVD-burner, 5-in-1 memory card reader, Bluetooth module, a 15.4" reflective widescreen, 80GB HDD and WiFi. Actually, I'm not sure if WiFi is considered a 'cool' feature anymore since practically every laptop comes equipped with it nowadays...hahah.

I actually considered getting the model which came with a 14.1" reflective widescreen, since the reduced size and weight would make it much easier for me to lug my laptop around, which I frequently do. However, the trade-off is that it only comes with 64MB of video memory in its X700. After pondering upon this for a grand total of 30 seconds, I came to this conclusion ...."Screw portability!". What I REALLY want is ample screen real estate and good 3D performance.

Even now as I sit in my office nursing my aching right arm (after lugging my laptop from the LRT station), I don't for one moment regret my decision.

After all, I'm sure every tech geek out there would have done the same :)

Monday, August 15, 2005

God's Creation

Looked at the Sky Lately?

On my way to work this morning, I took a moment to glance at the skies and was rewarded with a sight to behold. Wisps of clouds were scattered across the morning sky, with intermittent hues of yellow and lavender fanning out as far as the eye can see. Rays of sunlight filttered down from the clouds and cast its light on the buildings and inhabitants below. Sunlight, the bringer of life. How sorely we missed it during the peak of the haze.

But now that it is back with us, we as humans tend to take it for granted eh? I know I did. Sometimes, we get to caught up with the trivial pursuits of life that we forget how to appreciate the beauty of life. Honestly, when was the last time you actually spared a few minutes to marvel and be awed by God's creation? People say they want proof of God, I saw the proof is all around us. You want proof that Leonardo Da Vinci existed? Take a look at the Mona Lisa. You want proof of a man such as Pietro Perugino? Look no further than the detailed paintings of the Sistine Chapel. Likewise, if you've ever wondered if there is a God....just open your jaded eyes and take in the wonder of His creation. Take a stroll in the woods. See how the plants sprout from insignificant seeds into majestic trees, how the birds call out to one another in their song, how the river carves an intricate path from the mountain tops to the valleys.

To The Ends Of The Earth

I was just pondering upon these things while I was driving to work. It helps keep things in perspective you know. In the eyes of eternity, what does it matter if we got that promotion? or that raise? or that house which you've been dreaming about?

As I was driving to work and thinking about this, a song was playing in the background and the lyrics went..

"Jesus I believe in You, and I would go,
To the ends of the Earth, ends of the Earth,
For You"

People increasingly focus their entire lives on things which are temporial and ephermal in nature. It's time we look up and focus on what truly matters.

After all, we only have this life to live.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

All For Love, The Father Gave

(above : click on the picture to zoom in)

Look Ma, It's Me

Why, it IS me! But seriously, I'm merely a worshipper of the Almighty. All praise and glory to God! Click on the picture above to read the full article.


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Haze Conspiracy?..hmmm

Feels Good To Be Back

In actual fact, I didn't go anywhere (well, physically at least...*guffaw*). It's just that I've been really busy for the past week, and my last weekend was packed to the brim. Yup, I've been too busy to blog. I can hear all you fervent bloggers out there screaming in disbelief, but it's true!... hahah.

Anyway, speaking of not going anywhere, I woke up this morning wishing I have. Confused? Let me recap how my day started this morning.

Rise and...ermm...Shine?



*ringing of alarm clock*

*sound of alarm clock being tossed out the window*

*sound of alarm clock bouncing of the concrete pavement several times before coming to a rest between my garbage bin and clothes hanger*

2 hours later...

I finally rouse from my slumber. With my arms stretched above my head...

"yawwwnnnnnnn...*cough cough* *choke*...*wheeze*.."

"What the??!"

I rushed the my window and looked out. For a second there, I almost thought that I was in Genting Highlands! Either that or my neighbourhood has just been subjected to a nyamuk aedes fogging operation which had gone terribly wrong.

Yup, the haze is upon us with a vengeance. It's just like back in 1998 when the first round of haze hit us. Or is it?...hmmm.

Conspiracy Theory

I believe that the haze is all part of a huge conspiracy to spite us humble Malaysians. Really. Sure, the Indonesian President of the Environmental watchamacallit Association publicly apologized to us, but that's just mere words!

For all we know, the Indonesians could be organising a nation-wide clam bake cum BBQ cum marshmallow roasting by the open roaring fire event even as we choke on our polluted air! Too far fetched? Not to me.

Here's something suspicious. The words INDONESIA and CYBERJAYA (the locations where peat and forest fires were reported) both contain 9 alphabets. NINE ALPHABETS! What's the significance of that? I don't know really, but it's mighty suspicious I tell ya!

Another thing, I heard that there is no haze in Singapore! To me suspicious mind, it's either because they have a stinkin huge fan on Batam Island which blows all their smoggy air towwards us, or the Singaporean government is in cahoots with the Indons!

You know what's even stranger. The word SINGAPORE has also 9 alphabets in it! Ho ho, I smell something fishy!

Either that or the haze is making me paranoid.

We Won Best Song!

Going off track slightly, my regular readers would have known that my band HodgePodge competed in the M&M Battle of the Bands 2005 Finals last week at Sunway Pyramid. Well, to all my friends who have prayed along with me and turned up in huge numbers to support my band, here's to y'all!!

Although HodgePodge didn't place amongst the top three bands, we did win the award for the best song composition for M&M. All thanks to God for seeing us through this :)

Be sure to check out The Star newspaper today ;) I heard there's a BIGGGG picture of us in it...hahah, alright, maybe not that big.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Imagine They Are All Naked

The Day Draws Near...

The BIG day is tomorow! After a whole weeks worth of practice, sweat, tears and prayers...the time has finally come. The time for us to show the world what an amazing, miracle working God we serve! My more discerning readers might suspect, from my mentions of 'prayer' and 'God', that I am relying on divine intervention to see my band through. Well, you are absolutely right!...hahah.

Really, it is truly because of God that my band HodgePodge even made is this far. From the way He has seen us through the auditions, helped us in our practice sessions and united the band as a whole; God truly deserves all the credit, praise and glory. Like the song by Planetshakers go, 'It's all about You' :)

Why Naked People?

As I prepare for the performance, this old adage on how to cure stage-fright popped into my head. "Just imagine that you are standing in front of a room full of people, and everyone else is naked".

Anyone care to vouch for its effectiveness?

(above : Double humbuckers + Marshall = Annoy the crap outta my neighbours)

(above : My two trusty axes. I got my first guitar (the acoustic guitar) when I was 17. I only purchased an electric last yea, I'm a relative newbie when it comes to distorted bliss :))

(above : Seagull and Ibanez, Ibanez and Seagull)

(above : That's Jon Koo doing his Richard Clayderman impersonation on the keys. In the background is Eric Thoo, our guitarist)

(above : Here are the remainding HodgePodge members. From left to right, Janice, Norman and Eu Jin. Once again, I'm stricken with the NIPBHC* disease)

*NIPBHC = Not In Photo Becoz Holding Camera


Monday, August 01, 2005

Battle Of The Bands 2005

Against the Odds

Who would have guessed it. My band 'HodgePodge' made it to the finals of the M&Ms Battle of the Bands 2005..and yes, the rumours are true. We only had 3 practice sessions prior to the auditions. I told you my God is a miracle working God..hahah. We performed a total of 3 songs. Well, actually we only did 2 songs. The third 'song' we performed could barely even be called a song. It was more of a weird mish-mash of strained vocals and messy guitar rifts. Yea, the word 'noise' would be more appropriate to describe it...hahah. Anyway, thank God that we still managed to pull through on the strengths of our other 2 songs.

We'll be performing at the finals at Sunday Pyramid, 5th August at 7 pm, so to all our 'supporters' (consisting of our parents, uncles, aunties, grandmother, grandfather etc) feel free to drop by and give us yer luv! I'll keep this post short coz I have a ton of work to do, but please take the time to vote for us here. I really appreciate it :)